• HEALTH & RECOVERY
    Welcome Guest
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules Thread Directory 1 Thread Directory 2
    Mindfulness Links Addiction & Mind
    Sober Living Partner Program (SLiPP)
  • H&R Moderators: VerbalTruist

August Getting Staying Clean and Sober Thread vs Light in August

Chaired my homegroup meeting tonight, "dark side of the spoon" its an open-speaker Heroin Anonymous meeting.
Was a really powerfull message the man shared with us tonight.
Afterwords went and rode my bike with a few of my friends, it feels really good out and a bout so rode all over downtown louisville.
I am relaxing, chewing tobbaco.
 
Just got back from a weekend of kayak camping on a barrier island in the Gulf of Mexico (Durney Key, if that means anything to you FLA). The sunset last night was spectacular and I wish there was a way to share it with you all here, but you can only link to an image already on the web so that doesn't do me much good. If any of you have seen the picture on the cover of Stephen King's Under the Dome, it was that same shade of eerie purplish red, punctuated by thunderheads in the distance. I think back to the time before prescription drugs and hardcore alcohol abuse when I used to do stuff like this all the time and I try to ask myself how did I ever come to prefer substance abuse over this. I don't have an answer but I don't think I necessarily need to answer that question. On the way home I had to stop in Tarpon Springs just down the road, a quaint, touristy place that was once an enclave of Greek immigrants who worked in the sponge diving industry. Had a fabulous meal of that cheese that explodes (never can remember the name but recognize it when I see it on a menu), fried squid and baklava.
 
^^That's awesome aihfl.. I love the beach. Fl. proud..lol.. The gulf coast beaches really are so beautiful. Well what's up guys? How is everybody doing? I have to admit that getting clean this time has been very difficult for me. I wound up copping last night(worst dope ever) but I don't think it set my wd process back by much because It was cut garbage that I actually think contained some cocaine..lol... woke up feeling fine but I have just had no energy to do anything that and anhedonia inspired the great idea of getting kratom. I wound up buying 30gs of bali from a local vape shop and taking every last pill in the bag. I didn't really get much of a high off it and I still didn't have any energy but my nervous restlessness disappeared. I pretty much already knew this but I have since learned that this was a huge dose. I have no idea whether the stuff I got was quality kratom or not but I wanted to ask you guys if taking kratom for a few days is simply delaying the withdrawal process?

It is going to be difficult but I def need to change my relationship with marijuana. I have been smoking from dusk till dawn for weeks because I keep fucking up in the withdrawal process. I actually don't smoke that much only a few small tokes every couple of hours but it is a constant. I know the pot is contributing a great deal to my lack of motivation and lethargy. I was actually considering taking a long drive to the beach tomorrow and getting some phenibut at a headshop that sells it in the Daytona area. I discovered phenibut and fell in love this last attempt at sobriety. I have heard it works wonders for withdrawal and I was thinking that I could use that instead of kratom and give my opiate receptors a break. I know to take it easy with the stuff because it is extremely addictive. I won't be getting much and I really need to let go of these crutches anyways.

I read a lot of Simco's recovery post today including his last post and I have to admit I am a bit disheartened and fearful because a lot of the early posts were struggles, tribulations and dealing with anhedonia. Months and months of clinging to sobriety while muddling through depression. It brought me back to reflecting on my several attempts sobriety(1yr and a separate 7mths). I know it is going to be a long road and I need to just live in the moment.. one day at a time but I don't know how many more times I can do this. I feel so crushed with doubt this time and I am dealing with a lot of hurt feelings involving a female. I just feel so dejected and worthless. I am determined to stay clean but I am just having trouble motivating and getting enough traction to even begin to climb out of the new whole I dug for myself.

I guess I need to try and be grateful. I have a family that supports and loves me. I am fairly young. Have money in the bank and actually have some work tomorrow. It could be worse. Way worse. Love u guyz-Somni
 
Last edited:
Hey, somnilicious...man, I know it's brutal breaking free of the substances we come to love. Fucking awful. I just want you to know I'm pulling for you. And I know many others on BL (and surely elsewhere too) are pulling for you too. And for me, ultimately the thing that helped the most was having people around who had my back. Make sure to let the people who care about you know if you're struggling. You don't have to go into gory details unless you want to. But posts like yours just above can be therapeutic.

Please feel free to PM me if you're feeling shaky. I'd love to talk if it would be helpful.

I'm in a bit of a rush right now (got a job interview, but I'll be back online in a few hours). But briefly--please be careful with the phenibut and the kratom. Personally, I think both of those are more risk than they're worth...and I say that as someone who is currently trying to stop his own kratom use.

Take care, Som <3
 
somnilicious said:
^^That's awesome aihfl.. I love the beach. Fl. proud..lol.. The gulf coast beaches really are so beautiful. Well what's up guys? How is everybody doing? I have to admit that getting clean this time has been very difficult for me. I wound up copping last night(worst dope ever) but I don't think it set my wd process back by much because It was cut garbage that I actually think contained some cocaine..lol... woke up feeling fine but I have just had no energy to do anything that and anhedonia inspired the great idea of getting kratom. I wound up buying 30gs of bali from a local vape shop and taking every last pill in the bag. I didn't really get much of a high off it and I still didn't have any energy but my nervous restlessness disappeared. I pretty much already knew this but I have since learned that this was a huge dose. I have no idea whether the stuff I got was quality kratom or not but I wanted to ask you guys if taking kratom for a few days is simply delaying the withdrawal process?

It is going to be difficult but I def need to change my relationship with marijuana. I have been smoking from dusk till dawn for weeks because I keep fucking up in the withdrawal process. I actually don't smoke that much only a few small tokes every couple of hours but it is a constant. I know the pot is contributing a great deal to my lack of motivation and lethargy. I was actually considering taking a long drive to the beach tomorrow and getting some phenibut at a headshop that sells it in the Daytona area. I discovered phenibut and fell in love this last attempt at sobriety. I have heard it works wonders for withdrawal and I was thinking that I could use that instead of kratom and give my opiate receptors a break. I know to take it easy with the stuff because it is extremely addictive. I won't be getting much and I really need to let go of these crutches anyways.

I read a lot of Simco's recovery post today including his last post and I have to admit I am a bit disheartened and fearful because a lot of the early posts were struggles, tribulations and dealing with anhedonia. Months and months of clinging to sobriety while muddling through depression. It brought me back to reflecting on my several attempts sobriety(1yr and a separate 7mths). I know it is going to be a long road and I need to just live in the moment.. one day at a time but I don't know how many more times I can do this. I feel so crushed with doubt this time and I am dealing with a lot of hurt feelings involving a female. I just feel so dejected and worthless. I am determined to stay clean but I am just having trouble motivating and getting enough traction to even begin to climb out of the new whole I dug for myself.

I guess I need to try and be grateful. I have a family that supports and loves me. I am fairly young. Have money in the bank and actually have some work tomorrow. It could be worse. Way worse. Love u guyz-Somni
Click to expand...

Keep at it. Consider treating these symtoms with some non drug tequniques. Exercise can really help people struggling with these symtoms. I hope you find and impliment a treatment plan.

neversickanymore said:
Post-acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS) Terence Gorski, MS.
Post-acute-withdrawal syndrome Wiki

Exercise and Brain Neurotransmission
Neurobiology of Exercise
Aerobic Exercise
Exercise 4 Health, Mental Health, and Addiction vs. The Endorphin Factory
Exercise 4 Health, Mental Health, and Addiction vs. I worked all that out
exercise and sleep

Chemicals and supplements to recover from opiate addiction
Diet & Neurogenesis


it is a powerful thing to keep our thoughts positive and here are some threads many of us use to help us do this.
Good things about being off drugs/getting sober
Share Something Positive from Your Day vs. It's All Around You
Today I Am Thankful For... Ver. 4 Infinite Chances in an Amazing World
Daily Personal Affirmations Log Vs IM THE SHIT & NOT a piece a.. not playing me. NOPE
Managing depressive thinking

Here is the mindfulness thread.
Anhedonia MEGA Thread
Click to expand...



I'm doing well today. Little light on sleep. Emotions are settled nicely. Still effected by losing a very close friend. Very positive on the job front. I have two offers one being dependent on a background check and a dream job being dependent on licenses.. can't wait for that on to hopefully come through.. couple more months.

My exercise program is going well and i'm getting some great support.

Best wishes to everyone today :D
 
aihfl said:
Just got back from a weekend of kayak camping on a barrier island in the Gulf of Mexico (Durney Key, if that means anything to you FLA). The sunset last night was spectacular and I wish there was a way to share it with you all here, but you can only link to an image already on the web so that doesn't do me much good. If any of you have seen the picture on the cover of Stephen King's Under the Dome, it was that same shade of eerie purplish red, punctuated by thunderheads in the distance. I think back to the time before prescription drugs and hardcore alcohol abuse when I used to do stuff like this all the time and I try to ask myself how did I ever come to prefer substance abuse over this. I don't have an answer but I don't think I necessarily need to answer that question. On the way home I had to stop in Tarpon Springs just down the road, a quaint, touristy place that was once an enclave of Greek immigrants who worked in the sponge diving industry. Had a fabulous meal of that cheese that explodes (never can remember the name but recognize it when I see it on a menu), fried squid and baklava.
Click to expand...

What's happening Aihfl? As a kid when we used to go up off Tarpon Springs, these houses on stilts out in the Gulf struck me as very strange. I think I know now that there're places for fisherman to store equipment or bait, etc. but it's still a little unclear to me. I used to think why would anyone want to stay in one of these isolated run down shacks way offshore in the blazing Florida sun with no power or A/C? We occasionally go over to Tarpon Springs, mainly because I love Greek food.

My therapist used to advise me to not waste time, energy and money trying to understand why we became this way. How would knowing what caused it make any kind of difference? You can't really argue with what is. You can say this shouldn't be happening, but it is happening. We might spend 5 years going thru psychotherapy until the shrink got sick of our asses and discharged us with a thick dossier with all these facts about us but those facts aren't who we are. They are just facts about us. I didn't come up with these things I'm saying, but they did leave an impression on me.
 
Last edited:
FLA said:
My therapist used to advise me to not waste time, energy and money trying to understand why we became this way. How would knowing what caused it make any kind of difference? You can't really argue with what is. You can say this shouldn't be happening, but it is happening. We might spend 5 years going thru psychotherapy until the shrink got sick of our asses and discharged us with a thick dossier with all these facts about us but those facts aren't who we are. They are just facts about us. I didn't come up with these things I'm saying, but they did leave an impression on me.
Click to expand...

sometimes things come to my mind randomly that might explain things better. like lost memories. I really think that's interesting and I can understand/ recognize some unconcious patterns, but I try not to dig too deep and be too introspective.

anyway. I just noticed, how much of my time I spend with people now, even outside of NA. I tend to be more open and really enjoy company. Being alone still recharges me, but yeah that's how I always wanted life. Didn't imagine to exclude drugs and include NA, but being clean has already brought so much benefits. Being present. I'm really grateful. Not in the best mood, but starting to be ok with things and myself and I'm so glad to be clean 5 months and half a year from opioids :>
 
I got a job today working in a drug/alcohol detox facility. Wont be making the big bucks like I used to. This is a great opportunity for me to work with others!
 
^ Great! Team work is indeed quite gratifying, although it can be frustrating sometimes. It's good working with something you like.
 
Having some pretty unspecific polytoxic cravings alternating with thoughts of drugs this week. Planned to go to a techno festival, glad I cancelled that. There are not only opioid cravings I find out :/ But they are not too strong. I try to do things, that are good for me.
 
Dealing with cravings can be quite challenging. For me it works when I get really busy, sharing is also great but most importantly IMO is to try to do something that you'll really enjoy. It doesn't matter what as long as it alleviates the pressure. Swimming really works for me as well, sports, films, etc. You know you can do it but it's pretty annoying. Trying to postpone ultimately can work too. Wish you the best of luck! :)
 
Reading through this thread always inspires me when I need it most. Y'all are awesome - keep trucking along <3
 
I'm pretty jazzed. I got a job offer this week. I told them I'd take it. Now my application has to wend its way through HR, which they said would take a couple weeks. But I'm pretty sure the gig will come to pass.

It's a good-seeming job. A better fit than my previous attempt, at least on paper. Crossing my fingers.

Hoping everyone's weekend is going well. <3
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top