atypical reaction to benzos

[Haddaway]

I took .5mg of clonazepam, and 2mg of lorazepam, I don't have extensive benzo experience (have done them a few times off and on, usually too much which just causes me to black out) I tend to overdo things, as I love intense feelings (I think I may have a somewhat addictive personality, but anyway, I digress...)

I also think it is worth noting I have horrible anxiety, like HORRIBLE anxiety, (which may contribute to me always over doing the dose because I just want it all to go away) I have gone to the doctor about these issues, but, blah, he wanted me to try celexa out first. So, that is where I am now, 2 weeks into the treatment, nothing noticable yet (praying it starts working, my anxiety is so horrible it interferes with my daily life so much that it has caused severe depression.
But besides all that, as I said I took 2mg Lorazepam, .5mg of Clonazepam.

It was weird, I started feeling kinda relaxed, and I was confronting people and talking to people I never would (my exgf lives in my house, long story, causes a lot of anxiety and I have wanted to talk to her but I'm so awkward I never know what to say. Well I went up to her and started like a conversation out of nowhere, and I just felt like I was figuring out a lot of things because my anxiety wasn't holding me back as much (even though I could still feel its prescense), and I got this crazy mindfuck feeling (archetypal mindfuck you should only get from psychedelics, because of the realizations you're making), and I started laughing a lot and talking really really fast and I got super giddy and excited, and I had this huge smile on my face. And then she was like, "Are you on drugs?!?!", I'm Like, "No! (laugh), why would you think that, what drug does it seem like I'm on?!" Cause I knew I was acting realllyyy strange, and to me it seems like she would think like x or something.

Does any of this even make sense, because my mindframe seems kind of psychedelicish (not in full, but some aspects) and I'm just really giddy and excited for no reason(and I'm like shaking). Is this extremely abnormal?? I mean I feel great, it was a kind of low dose, but it seems like a lot from just some benzos.

What do you draw from all of this?? As I am confused as what to determine why this happened.

 

[Haddaway]

All I have to say is.. Weirdest benzo experience ever (never really experimented with low dose benzos, only black out dose benzos, but this was definitely worth it, the high was not what I expected, it was like 20x better than I anticapated)

Still want thoughts and suggestions on what you think happened? That is very, very atypical, I still feel kinda trippy...

Any explanations? (and if my writing seems a bit off, you should know why)

 

[UpdownUP]

Did that happen after you started on celexa? It's the base camp of anti-depressants, won't do much for your anxiety, but that is likely tied to the fact that you are depressed...Depressed because your anxious, or anxious because your depressed, that's what you have to figure out? And you might be confident now that it's A = D but you might start to see it could easily be the other way around..
Especially if what you said when you where all hyper happened after the celexa treatment!

Things might just be coming right for you, so your drugs react differently..When you have had to go through a lot of depression and anxiety, when you start to feel a little better, things suddenly become really good...2 weeks is very early days too, it takes a good month or so for it to start having it's full benefits...Stay on your new meds!

 

[Haddaway]

Did that happen after you started on celexa? It's the base camp of anti-depressants, won't do much for your anxiety, but that is likely tied to the fact that you are depressed...Depressed because your anxious, or anxious because your depressed, that's what you have to figure out? And you might be confident now that it's A = D but you might start to see it could easily be the other way around..
Especially if what you said when you where all hyper happened after the celexa treatment!

Things might just be coming right for you, so your drugs react differently..When you have had to go through a lot of depression and anxiety, when you start to feel a little better, things suddenly become really good...2 weeks is very early days too, it takes a good month or so for it to start having it's full benefits...Stay on your new meds!

I am almost 100% certain that it's the anxiety causing the depression, because the anxiety debilitates to such a degree that I become depressed because of it. And yes this all happened today actually, two weeks after I started the celexa.

 

[UpdownUP]

I am almost 100% certain that it's the anxiety causing the depression, because the anxiety debilitates to such a degree that I become depressed because of it. And yes this all happened today actually, two weeks after I started the celexa.

Give it more time, what you are taking can take a long time to fully begin working, and I would say that you already showing signs of improvement, so it can only get better right?

Is this your first specifically assigned anti-depressant?

 

[Haddaway]

Yes it is my first antidepressant, and I really hope it starts working like you say you think it should. And you think I'm showing signs of improvement?? I really hope so, because I've been in such a bad way for a long time that it's really been effecting me negatively (to such a severe degree that I have contemplated suicide, not that I ever would, but just to show you how severe my depression/anxiety is.

Do you think this atypical experience had something to do with me finally having some anxiety removed that it completely made me happy??

 

[UpdownUP]

Do you think this atypical experience had something to do with me finally having some anxiety removed that it completely made me happy??

Yeah, that's exactly what I think has happened, anxiety like yours can, like you say lead to contemplating suicide, it is there everyday right, in the mornings, afternoons, nights, leads to little sleep...when that goes on for so long, and you suddenly have a bit of a break, it's incredible....better than any drug you can administer, (this is coming from a junkie)
The trees look good, food tastes better, boobs look bigger, you get a feeling of relief....which is what I think you where describing in your original post, it's just relief, breaking through...

Use that to try and get it to happen more, think about how good it felt, you made that, not a drug...


Also the celexa may not be for you, but I emplore you to remain on them at least 3 months, if I'm wrong try something else.
I've watched citalopram (celxa) work for people, no jobs turn graduate lawyers..I've also seen it make some people worse...and some like myself needed a different kind (in my case, tricyclics) But I'm off em all now, and aside from a huge motherfucking monkey on my back, I'm feeling good!
But again, I'd say from your experiance today, it could be just right for you, time will tell, and if you want your life to get better lay off abusing the drugs, even weed, for a month or so while it starts to take effect, you can't listen to your mind when it's under the influence (*well you can, but you know what I mean right lol)! Trust me when I saw that doing drugs is a whole fuck load better when you are feeling stable in life, I've been Up and down, hence my username...and it's always better, safer, easier, when your up!

 

[Haddaway]

Thanks a lot for your help, I stopped smoking marijuana for 2 months or so, and my anxiety had gotten so bad when I tried it again recently, I literally took one bong rip and I was having like a panic attack, the most paranoid I've ever been.
That scared me a lot too, because it used to be my favorite drug, the only thing that would relax me, but i think my anxiety is so horrible right now weed is just exacerbating the problem..

But really, thanks a lot, you've helped me see a little clearer, I can't thank you enough for that.

 

[Haddaway]

Did that happen after you started on celexa? It's the base camp of anti-depressants, won't do much for your anxiety, but that is likely tied to the fact that you are depressed...Depressed because your anxious, or anxious because your depressed, that's what you have to figure out? And you might be confident now that it's A = D but you might start to see it could easily be the other way around..
Especially if what you said when you where all hyper happened after the celexa treatment!

Things might just be coming right for you, so your drugs react differently..When you have had to go through a lot of depression and anxiety, when you start to feel a little better, things suddenly become really good...2 weeks is very early days too, it takes a good month or so for it to start having it's full benefits...Stay on your new meds!

What did you mean that celexa might not help for anxiety?? That's what it was prescribed for??

 

[Haddaway]

Thanks a lot for your help, I stopped smoking marijuana for 2 months or so, and my anxiety had gotten so bad when I tried it again recently, I literally took one bong rip and I was having like a panic attack, the most paranoid I've ever been.
That scared me a lot too, because it used to be my favorite drug, the only thing that would relax me, but i think my anxiety is so horrible right now weed is just exacerbating the problem..

But really, thanks a lot, you've helped me see a little clearer, I can't thank you enough for that.

More information about the marijuana effecting me negatively now can be read here: http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/showthread.php?p=9093120

I actually really want to be able to smoke marijuana, it used to be the only thing that would make me feel good, now it's doing the opposite and I can't figure out why!! Recently all it has been doing is causing me to panic and feel really negative, when nothing like that has ever happened before!
I want to enjoy marijuana like I used to be able to..

 

[BananasAndOranges]

anyone under stress shouldnt smoke. after your stash is out you become worse and far from relaxed.....I am begging for a hit....my friend will be picking me up a bag of his friends weed....so ill be good

 

[Haddaway]

Yeah, that's exactly what I think has happened, anxiety like yours can, like you say lead to contemplating suicide, it is there everyday right, in the mornings, afternoons, nights, leads to little sleep...when that goes on for so long, and you suddenly have a bit of a break, it's incredible....better than any drug you can administer, (this is coming from a junkie)
The trees look good, food tastes better, boobs look bigger, you get a feeling of relief....which is what I think you where describing in your original post, it's just relief, breaking through...

Use that to try and get it to happen more, think about how good it felt, you made that, not a drug...


Also the celexa may not be for you, but I emplore you to remain on them at least 3 months, if I'm wrong try something else.
I've watched citalopram (celxa) work for people, no jobs turn graduate lawyers..I've also seen it make some people worse...and some like myself needed a different kind (in my case, tricyclics) But I'm off em all now, and aside from a huge motherfucking monkey on my back, I'm feeling good!
But again, I'd say from your experiance today, it could be just right for you, time will tell, and if you want your life to get better lay off abusing the drugs, even weed, for a month or so while it starts to take effect, you can't listen to your mind when it's under the influence (*well you can, but you know what I mean right lol)! Trust me when I saw that doing drugs is a whole fuck load better when you are feeling stable in life, I've been Up and down, hence my username...and it's always better, safer, easier, when your up!

And why do you recommend to lay off all drugs for a month at least?? Could it interfere with the antidepressant? Could my negative experiences recently with marijuana be tied with me doing it while on celexa?

And what made you draw the conclusion that from the experience I described at the start of the thread could mean celexa could be the AD for me, since it was the benzos that caused the experience actually?

 

[Haddaway]

Did that happen after you started on celexa? It's the base camp of anti-depressants, won't do much for your anxiety, but that is likely tied to the fact that you are depressed...Depressed because your anxious, or anxious because your depressed, that's what you have to figure out? And you might be confident now that it's A = D but you might start to see it could easily be the other way around..
Especially if what you said when you where all hyper happened after the celexa treatment!

Things might just be coming right for you, so your drugs react differently..When you have had to go through a lot of depression and anxiety, when you start to feel a little better, things suddenly become really good...2 weeks is very early days too, it takes a good month or so for it to start having it's full benefits...Stay on your new meds!

Now that I think about it, it could be the depression causing the extra anxiety.. I've always had anxiety my whole life to a degree, but it was at a level that was very manageable. Now with the depression, and the lowered self-esteem that comes with it, I think the depression might have exponentially exacerbated my anxiety now that I think about it.. I really hope the Celexa works, because I don't know where else to turn! I hate feeling so shitty I am contemplating suicide (even though I don't think I would ever do it)

 

[dildonian jr.]

i have super bad anxiety,
which caused deep depression
they put me on prozac and abilify and clonazepam and its seemed to work greeat

 

[Haddaway]

i have super bad anxiety,
which caused deep depression
they put me on prozac and abilify and clonazepam and its seemed to work greeat

All at once? Or did you need to supplement with the other two when one didn't work on its own? How long did it take to start working? (the clonazepam obviously shouldve started working right away)

 

[sarahsweets]

Klonopin knocked me for a loop drooling and stumbling. I stick with short acting xanax