attempting general drug free holiday and need support

[galfun]

So starting saturday through today I have been attempting a drug free time to reduce tolerance/money reasons etc and have been feeling increasingly more depressed to the state that if i didnt have a MINOR relapse today (hash spliff and popped 1 dexie) I would probably have cut/burned myself...it is getting worse every day and I dunno how to handle it...
What I've been doing:
2 weeks or so moderate benzo use (2-3 mg ativan /day, 1-2 average mg klonopins per day and 1-3 drinks per day (AND not or))
5 months dexedrine in doses up to 180mg/day a few weeks ago down to 60mg / day (what I'm perscribed) for the last couple weeks with no issues
1 week mild cocaine use (smoked $10 of crack a week ago and split an eightball up my nose with friends over a few days)
1/8 oz. a day marijuana or equivalent in hash (like 1.5g with the stuff I get)...last break for that was 3 weeks in december in a mental hospital...thats how depressed I got and don't tell me pot isnt addictive cause thats a lie
pack a day ciggarretes on and off for 9 years, but stopped last sep-dec, so thats mainly psycological

anyway, other than today I havent taken anything other than my relapse today since friday I think other than perscribed 3x15mg buspar/day and 1x 10 mg lexapro/day

I've been sleeping 12+hrs at night and every couple hours during the day so I feel that the w/d is mainly stim related.

I have more than enough dexies to take my normal dose until I reup next, but wanted to see if i could do it...apparently not without pot, which I can't quite afford now, and have 7.5 mg of ativans left, but was trying to stop those completely at least for a month or two to avoid dependence/tolerance issues.

I've been increasingly depressed, with LOTs of exhaustion, extremely low appetite/desire to do anything...forcing myself to eat 3 square a day and do something outside the apt, like today I went on a 1 mile walk....is there any way to handle this without going into a hospital or taking more speed pills...a lot of it is loneliness too as I am alone in my apt and came back from hanging with a friend for a week.

 

[n3ophy7e]

Hi galfun, firstly, congrats on recognising that you need to take a break from your drug use. It is really commendable to be able to make that realisation and then actually follow through with it so you should be proud of yourself for that

What support network do you have while you're abstaining from drugs?? Do you have any friends or family who you can talk to about how you're doing? You will give yourself a much better chance of being able to abstain from using drugs if you've got people around you that you can talk to about it. I know that if I'm just sitting at home doing nothing, feeling depressed, bored and lonely, it is almost entirely likely that I will get drunk in order to cope with my situation.

That is awesome that you went for a 1-mile walk the other day, did that help to lift your spirits a bit?? Exercise is scientifically proven to lift and stabilise our mood, and I know for me it actually acts as a natural anti-depressant. Whenever I'm exercising regularly I don't need to be on meds for my depression. It really does make a HUGE difference. If you can try and get some exercise in every day I am pretty sure you will begin to feel a whole lot better.

What are your plans for quitting drugs? Do you just want to take a good long break and then see how you go with just using drugs in moderation? Or do you think it's best for you to quit drugs altogether? If that is the case you might want to consider getting some drug counselling, because they will be able to teach you effective ways of dealing with cravings, and of coping with your emotions without resorting to drug use. What do you think?

Either way, I wish you all the best. Please check in with us to let us know how you're going, and take care of yourself

 

[Wolfmans_BrothEr]

Continue taking walks and doing light things to get sunshine. That will help your mood. Have you looked into 5-htp? It's natural and sold on vitamin stores. It's good for your seratonin.

If your lonely I would suggest NA/AA meetings. They're filled with a lot of great people who know exactly how your feeling and have dealt with similar issues.

I personally don't think there's anything wrong with cannabis use in moderation. I use it to level out quite occasionally, but you shouldn't let it get in the way of your priorities. I think if you can responsibly use weed, if it helps you cope with things, then go ahead.

Try speaking to a therapist. Both them and the people at NA/AA can help you find healthy ways to cope with things, since you might have an issue with that. Don't be too discouraged about a relapse. We all crawled before we can walk right? Just remember that the first step is always the biggest. Once you get some momentum going things do get easier.

Just take it one day at a time. Hell, vow to not get high one hour at a time if you have to, it works. Remember that there are others out there who understand what your going through

 

[jobe28]

Good work man. Going sober can be a great thing. I've been completely sober for a bit over a month and I still struggle with it every day. It can be very difficult, discipline in general is, but I don't mind. Keep going! You'll get through it. For me smoking too much weed and abusing other drugs caused me a lot of grief, by practically contributing to me screwing my life up a bit. Sober I've got better judgement and more mental stability so I've found it easier to avoid making mistakes.

Yeah exercise is a great way to blow away the tension when you get frustrated.

All the best!