TheTripDoctor
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jan 3, 2001
- Messages
- 792
So i got my ativan script filled early today, a week early in fact (poor little heart patient 
), anyhow i was feeling edgy and tired at the same time, so i decided to take 2mg Lorazepam at 9pm. Fun stuff ususally, really helps the insomnia cracked out feeling. I intended on taking 2mg and going to bed since i was tired and had stuff to do tomorow. So i took the 2mg and layed down, didnt sleep, couldnt sleep, i hardly even got sedated for some reason. Then i decided to get up and check my email and check BL for messages, and make sure the server here is working right. I decided to listen to soem music, Global underground 10, while i worked.
In the middle of all of that, i was supposed to take my other medication at 10pm, well by the time i realized this it was 11pm, so i took the pills and went about fixing a server here, by the time 12am came around i had forgotten i took the medicine at 11pm, and wasnt sure i had taken it at all, i finally realized i HAD taken it, but WHEN? 10pm? 11pm? 5 minutes ago? SHIT.....so i did some sleuthing and determined i HAD taken it at 11pm, so i was ok. It was 12pm by this point and i had just started to feel the ativan before this point, and then i forgot when i had taken it in the first place "oh well since it just kicked in id say maybe 30 mins ago". Yea, i had forgotten all of what i had done in the last 3 hours since the time i REALLY took it, and because of that i asssumed that either time moves very fast on benzos, or i had only taken it 20 mins ago. This took some sleuthing as well, and then i remembered where i was before i took the ativan, and realized i had to have taken it at that time, 9pm.
Crazy memory loss i must say, it would almost be funny if i hadnt had medication i needed to take in a certain order. Not critical meds or anything, no heart meds etc. Otherwise i would have been incredibly stupid to have been screwing around like this, even though it was unintentional.
Then started the mind altering part of it, the double meanings, taking things exactly the way they sound and then having your mind go off in 2 diff directions "what did that really mean? hmm" Any task is difficult when you cant even decide what you just heard someone say
This is when the hallucinations started, the trillian window on my screen started to jump back and forth on the screen slightly, the blinds started to flash a little, phasing from dark to light and dark again, some of the blinds themselves started to waver up and down since thats opposit the direction of the blinds. As well in some places i can see after images of shadows of things, the words on the screen have an after image when i move my head. And anything high contrast or bright compared to the objects around it ends up flashing or strobing slightly.
Im also getting a bit of that stim feeling, not peripherally but mentally, the mental push to go out and do something, to go explore. I had this same feeling on LSD, i can remember at the time i was 16, and i remember thinking "They did this on purpose, they made lsd this way so we would go out and explore while tripping." Which was of course a trip-thought haha.
Anyhow, there seem to be a lot of parallels between lorazepam and LSD or possibly any of the psychedelics. The memory effects, going from one thing to another without having ever finished anything you were doing. The hallucinations are of the wavering type, sometimes with strobing and flashing of contrasted objects. And the "push" to go do something or to be active is there as well, some people note on low doses of benzos they become more talkative, high dose stims do this as well. I can see some correlation of similar types of effects between lorazepam as far as inhibited memory and thought train and hallucinations etc, and stims, as well as LSD itself.
I never expected this to happen, i was only trying to knock myself out at the time, but if you dont pass right out after taking the loraz (or any benzo) they tend to actually keep you awake, which is where all the odd effects as i noted above, start.
), anyhow i was feeling edgy and tired at the same time, so i decided to take 2mg Lorazepam at 9pm. Fun stuff ususally, really helps the insomnia cracked out feeling. I intended on taking 2mg and going to bed since i was tired and had stuff to do tomorow. So i took the 2mg and layed down, didnt sleep, couldnt sleep, i hardly even got sedated for some reason. Then i decided to get up and check my email and check BL for messages, and make sure the server here is working right. I decided to listen to soem music, Global underground 10, while i worked. In the middle of all of that, i was supposed to take my other medication at 10pm, well by the time i realized this it was 11pm, so i took the pills and went about fixing a server here, by the time 12am came around i had forgotten i took the medicine at 11pm, and wasnt sure i had taken it at all, i finally realized i HAD taken it, but WHEN? 10pm? 11pm? 5 minutes ago? SHIT.....so i did some sleuthing and determined i HAD taken it at 11pm, so i was ok. It was 12pm by this point and i had just started to feel the ativan before this point, and then i forgot when i had taken it in the first place "oh well since it just kicked in id say maybe 30 mins ago". Yea, i had forgotten all of what i had done in the last 3 hours since the time i REALLY took it, and because of that i asssumed that either time moves very fast on benzos, or i had only taken it 20 mins ago. This took some sleuthing as well, and then i remembered where i was before i took the ativan, and realized i had to have taken it at that time, 9pm.
Crazy memory loss i must say, it would almost be funny if i hadnt had medication i needed to take in a certain order. Not critical meds or anything, no heart meds etc. Otherwise i would have been incredibly stupid to have been screwing around like this, even though it was unintentional.
Then started the mind altering part of it, the double meanings, taking things exactly the way they sound and then having your mind go off in 2 diff directions "what did that really mean? hmm" Any task is difficult when you cant even decide what you just heard someone say
This is when the hallucinations started, the trillian window on my screen started to jump back and forth on the screen slightly, the blinds started to flash a little, phasing from dark to light and dark again, some of the blinds themselves started to waver up and down since thats opposit the direction of the blinds. As well in some places i can see after images of shadows of things, the words on the screen have an after image when i move my head. And anything high contrast or bright compared to the objects around it ends up flashing or strobing slightly.
Im also getting a bit of that stim feeling, not peripherally but mentally, the mental push to go out and do something, to go explore. I had this same feeling on LSD, i can remember at the time i was 16, and i remember thinking "They did this on purpose, they made lsd this way so we would go out and explore while tripping." Which was of course a trip-thought haha.
Anyhow, there seem to be a lot of parallels between lorazepam and LSD or possibly any of the psychedelics. The memory effects, going from one thing to another without having ever finished anything you were doing. The hallucinations are of the wavering type, sometimes with strobing and flashing of contrasted objects. And the "push" to go do something or to be active is there as well, some people note on low doses of benzos they become more talkative, high dose stims do this as well. I can see some correlation of similar types of effects between lorazepam as far as inhibited memory and thought train and hallucinations etc, and stims, as well as LSD itself.
I never expected this to happen, i was only trying to knock myself out at the time, but if you dont pass right out after taking the loraz (or any benzo) they tend to actually keep you awake, which is where all the odd effects as i noted above, start.
