Asking for help

This has always been difficult for me but I need to get past it.

I compare myself to who I was when I was clean and reasonably happy and I see a person who has given up.

I NEED help getting back to a non-zombie existence. But who am I? There are otherts in much more pain than I who apply effort to getting better.

I need help not fantasing/pursuing my own death. I've been reckless in very unssafe manners

I realize that I need to help myself before I can adk others to guide me with perspective. I need to cry openly in front of a true friend

I get paid on tuesday and I suspect I may over do things to a certain finality

Can someoine help me? I still feel I have potential for good but it seems so hard to get back to beiing a decent person

Weak, cowardly and consumed with seld

 

^ Try to find yourself a drug counsellor/therapist if you can. Whenever people hear the word "therapist" they usually imagine some pompous dude who wears a shirt and tie every day, and has loads of fancy qualifications, but no first-hand experience of drug addiction. I can tell you that isn't always true. My first drug counsellor was an ex-coke addict who I got along with really well, and my current counsellor is a very unorthodox guy who isn't afraid to tell it like it is. I found them both very easy to talk to, and they could totally understand the problems I was (and still am) having to deal with. I guess another option could be detox or rehab, but personally, I've always kept that option as a last resort. You're a good guy who has the potential to live a happy productive life. I hope you can find the strength to beat your drug habits... you have in the past, so I'm sure you'll be able to again. Best of luck!

 

You call me anytime, man.

I totally agree with SP- you should look into a drug counselor or attend an NA meeting. I know NA once helped you out a bit.
Reach out to people in TDS again......
You have quit before, you can do it again

 

Try to focus on a hobby. I know it's nearly impossible to focus on and enjoy anything when you're anhedonic from trying to quit, but going through the motions of doing something interesting might help get you through the worst weeks and months of it.

 

Thanks for the replies, guys. BL rules simply because, no matter what, someone will be able to relate and offer solid advice and genuine support.

I definitely believe that therapy is in order. The trick now is to actually DO it. I know what I need to do so no more excuses.

Man, it feels good to be understood

 

I had so much trouble getting help. It took me, no exaggeration, a full two years between identifying the need and my first session. During that time I had two crises, one of which could very easily have had me put into an institution of some sort-- either prison, hospital or a psych ward.

I know that I'm preaching to the choir a bit, but there is absolutely no shame in getting professional help. If you get a severe cut, is there shame in getting stitches?

Reading this is making me think that I may need to start seeing someone again myself. Recent events have brought to light the extent to which I've slid back.