• S E X
    L O V E +
    R E L A T I O N S H I P S


    ❤️ Welcome Guest! ❤️


    Posting Guidelines Bluelight Rules
  • SLR Moderators: Senior Staff

Asking a girl out via email - is this kinda lame?

B

benson7

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 7, 2004
Messages
1,021
OK I really need to ask this girl out but it is impossible to get any one on one time.

She works in the same office as me and there's kinda chemistry between us but there is next to no chance of us getting any privacy. Under the circumstances is a viable option here to ask her out via email?

Is this considered outright cowardly? Anyone got experience here?
 
Is there no way you can offer her out for a drink or something after work? Maybe chat to her on a lunch break or anything?

I personally wouldn't do it over e-mail. I don't think it would be overly successful. Maybe e-mail her and invite her out one evening or something.
 
Modified said:
Is there no way you can offer her out for a drink or something after work? Maybe chat to her on a lunch break or anything?

I personally wouldn't do it over e-mail. I don't think it would be overly successful. Maybe e-mail her and invite her out one evening or something.
Click to expand...

Apparently you just told the OP to do what you previously advised him not to do.

Benson, I thought you were going to say is it lame to ask a girl out via Facebook or some such social networking site, in which case I would have said no, not at all. Thats actually extremely common these days, but I digress. Anyway, I definitely wouldn't ask her out via e-mail for the simple reason that she'd most likely wonder why on earth you didnt have the balls to ask her face to face. I'm aware you've said you likely wont find the time to meet her face to face during office hours, but whats stopping you from catching her on her way in to work or else hanging back after work to ask her then?
 
i don't recommend it. in your case it's not that it's actually cowardly (it would be far worse to ask her out in front of your co-workers), but that it's awkward and could also possibly come off as creepy if you don't know her well and only have her contact information because of work. what's your current level of interaction like? do you socialize at all at work, or talk over email or intra-office instant messenger?
 
If you can't do anything about it, then email is like a last resort kinda thing but just do it... better than not asking her out!
 
benson7 said:
OK I really need to ask this girl out but it is impossible to get any one on one time.

She works in the same office as me and there's kinda chemistry between us but there is next to no chance of us getting any privacy. Under the circumstances is a viable option here to ask her out via email?

Is this considered outright cowardly? Anyone got experience here?
Click to expand...
you don't need privacy to ask somebody out socially. just stop by her desk/cube/whatever and keep it short and sweet.

alasdair
 
benson7 said:
OK I really need to ask this girl out but it is impossible to get any one on one time.

She works in the same office as me and there's kinda chemistry between us but there is next to no chance of us getting any privacy. Under the circumstances is a viable option here to ask her out via email?

Is this considered outright cowardly? Anyone got experience here?
Click to expand...

Really depends on your relationship so far. Do you chat with her often by email ? If you do then asking her out via email is nothing - if, however you do not chat casually with her then popping the question via Email is a bit of a cop out. She works in your office, you have a lunch break - speak to her!
 
I think it's fine. If she was a friend who you saw socially, then NO, but someone you work with? Sure. So long as the "kinda chemistry" means you do actually chat to this girl and it won't be totally out of the blue.

I went out with a a guy at the last place I worked. I was halfway though writing an email, but decided it was way too cowardly. So I asked face to face, in the office. I just said "are you busy on Friday night? Would you like to go out for a drink?". He said yes. Then HE emailed me, saying I was brave to ask in the office, heh. I look back and cringe -- I shouldn't have done that in front of coworkers.

Certainly if someone came to my desk and asked me out in the office I'm in now, it'd raise a lot of eyebrows and I think it'd take a hell of a lot of guts. If it's really going to be awkward, I think an email is ok. I'd have no problem with it at all if someone at work asked me out by email. I'd only consider it a cop out if they had plenty of opportunity to do it face to face.

I'd want a short and simple email, like what the person would say to my face. Save the content and conversation for the actual date. I wouldn't want an apology or comment on the lameness of email -- if it's the right thing for the working environment you're in, it's not necessary. You can always talk about it later.

It also depends on if she's after someone with BIG BALLS, or normal balls, or if she has so few balls herself that she's relieved to not be put on the spot.
 
I would not use email. No need for work to know you asked her out.

Write her a card or note. deliver it to her desk, if its to her face she can read it and say yes.
 
benson7 said:
OK I really need to ask this girl out but it is impossible to get any one on one time.

She works in the same office as me and there's kinda chemistry between us but there is next to no chance of us getting any privacy. Under the circumstances is a viable option here to ask her out via email?

Is this considered outright cowardly? Anyone got experience here?
Click to expand...

I am assuming you say hello to each other in the hall/carpark. Does she have a office phone? Call her & ask what she is doing for lunch. Chances are she will have a friendly lunch with you that will take an hour & you both have to go back to work. That way you will get time alone to suss her out & if there is chemistry get her number. Keep it friendly & simple although I would not shit where I eat ;).
 
I don't think it's lame at all.
One of my exes asked me out by sending me a long letter attached to an e-mail. It was adorable, you could tell he'd put a ton of thought into it. I honestly wouldn't have had it any other way with him.
So no, it doesn't have to be lame, just depends what you write! Just show that you made en effort :)
 
Why dont you just ask her out for coffee or lunch? If its your only option no its not lame. You would be a total wanker if you want this woman and dont even try some way or another. Still I would go with a more conventional aproach like "hey, you wanna go grab some coffee during lunch break?"
 
Why don't you just casually walk up to her and go "Hey, what are you doing for lunch?". Then, work whatever her reply is into a question, either asking if you can go with her or have her come with you. That way it seems like you're just lookin for someone to talk to over lunch in front of your colleagues, but when you get out to lunch you can approach it with a bit more of a flirt, in privacy :).
 
Honestly it isn't lame but you should really try asking her out on a date or something face to face. If all else fails go for the e-mail
 
Ask in person, which will both give you an answer right out (hopefully), and show some guts. If you send an e-mail and she decides to be "polite" and give it the silent treatment, then that will make any future interactions between you especially awkward. Even if she gives you a direct answer via e-mail, there are visual and spoken cues you'll miss, ones you'll wish you'd seen later.
 
iheartthisthread said:
Ask her in person.

The internet is killing human interaction.
Click to expand...

it really is

when you add the net to something it just kills it a little inside. i think its the sound of the magic being lost

why cant you talk to her on a break, maybe say your going to the shop and ask her does she want anything while you are there then use that to break the ice. then next time you can sit with her, then ask her out
 
I would never ask someone out via email. You honestly don't need any privacy to ask a girl out. Just keep it casual and simple and stop by her desk or something.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top