ashes

[jameslovesyou]

ok
so we broke up last monday
by that friday we were camping and drinking and fucking in lamesa
having real fun like our start
and i thought my heart would explode when she said
"that's no way to get me back"...
of course my quick and witty response was
"i'm not trying to get you back"
but later
after too much whiskey i confessed that my first thought was
"whoa...there's a WAY to get you back?"

it's monday and i'm sitting at the cafe thinking about all of this
and i guess the main point goes back to something i told her before
"i do not wish to contain you or hinder your growth
in fact i mean to free you and cause growth"
the simple
painful for me truth is
i had become a form of oppression for her
i lost my way and fell directly to sleep
comfortable with the misery i was causing
and with one look that fateful monday
~i woke up~
it felt like a shotgun in my mouth
but when veracity pulls the trigger
only the ego feels the pain

i know she loves me
and
i love her
but i can NOT have her
i CAN enjoy every moment gifted
and finally set that box of restraints on fire...
maybe i can use the ashes to fertilize the ground she walks upon.

 

[New]

Wow...that was a powerful trip. You pulled me in with loving words, then tore my soul apart.

I like the poetry, very powerful stuff.

 

[colicolo]

^ What New said is dead true.
This is one of your best yet. I know this feeling and you have captured it and nourished it into something unique and delicatly beautiful.

"i do not wish to contain you or hinder your growth
in fact i mean to free you and cause growth"
the simple
painful for me truth is
i had become a form of oppression for her
i lost my way and fell directly to sleep

~i woke up~
it felt like a shotgun in my mouth
but when veracity pulls the trigger

and finally set that box of restraints on fire...
maybe i can use the ashes to fertilize the ground she walks upon.

 

[Amanita Mary]

absolutely beautiful baby!

 

[doofqueen]

Wow...that was a powerful trip. You pulled me in with loving words, then tore my soul apart.

I like the poetry, very powerful stuff.

oh! Totally agree with that!

 

[(Wordy)]

I absolutely love this. Especially everything up to "~I woke up~" - the honesty, the heart, the unadulterated delivery, the self-deprecating humour (my favourite kind).

Break-ups can be hell (not always), but they usually bring great poems.