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asexual?

Eyes On the Roll

Eyes On the Roll

Bluelighter
Joined
Jun 26, 2010
Messages
692
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Heaven
ok, well, here goes.

Went through my whole life up until age 17 with no desire for a girlfriend, no desire for sex. at age 17 a girl pretty much forced her way in becoming my girlfriend for the next 2 years. We had sex a lot, probably well over 600 times (considering we banged every day, sometimes more than once). Most of the time I didn't want to as much, be she was like a fiend. After we broke up almost 2years ago, I started banging girls and having one night stands, and it was never that fun, I only did it because I was messed up every time. Then November hit, and I got bored. I had sex for the last time on thanksgiving, and the night before I had a one night stand too. Then, I guess I just stopped, went back to the way I was before I entered a relationship at age 17. I have little to no urges at all, and never really have. I guess I only ever had urges in the past because I was on a lot of ecstasy alcohol, and other drugs.

Here I am now, 21, not had sex since thanksgiving and haven't even thought about it twice. It's not even a thing to me, especially since I quit getting high all the time, I'm back to my normal self like how I was when I was 17. I've had chances too, trust me. Last Valentines day I had 2 separate dates. I took my first one out till 12, took her back home, she asked me inside and I said no, left, and went on my second date. I went to her house and watched movies in her bed, I got bored and left because she was trying to snuggle me and stuff and I don't enjoy that. I tried going on these two dates to see if I felt anything. If I felt anything inside that would make me want to have sex, or want to be in a relationship. And there was nothing.
 
I wouldn't try to over analyze it. Honestly, everyone is built differently and you may very well have a low sex drive but to be certain, you could have your hormones tested. At your age, I would kind of doubt it. Try to relax and when you "feel" it, go with the flow and if not, that's OK too. Chill
 
Dude there's also a asexual thread here - if you are then just accept it for now, but don't feel like you need to put a label on anything especially yourself, but if things change then you can just change your label, but labelling ourself/putting ourself in a box isn't a good habit - it can be hard to break away from such egotistical indentifications after a while - and you shouldn't be attached to things like this.


So you may have to explain yourself a little, but hey nothing wrong with being asexual, you're a freak of nature - it's different, kinda cool/strange/weird/one of a kind, BUT I cann see how it would be a problem with gals who fancy you!

Peace
 
I went throught a period like that, where it was sitting in front of me on a tray but I was too lazy to lift up my hand and grab it. But I was on some very libido killing drugs.... Since then I noticed that I only feel sexual towards people I feel connected to. I mean I'll see an attractive lady in yoga pant and get sprung walking down the produce isle, but when it comes down to being one on one with them I'm not really feelin it until I know them a little better.

Maybe you need emotional intimacy to be sexually turned on
 
Maybe you are asexual.
Are you interested in males at all? I mean, it's a possibility, many guys don't realize they are gay until their 20s.

But the other things it that you may just need someone who you really connect with. Although I think there are tons of hot guys and girls around, I don't want to have sex with every one of them. I have wanted to have sex with a couple of them (my boyfriend of course) but not most guys.
 
No, I'm not into males at all. I don't think I'm into sex at all either. I can't even watch porn because it disgusts me. I know that I'm so different from everyone that I know, and I've known that from as far as I can remember. I would, eventually, like a relationship though. I often dream about this, and fantasize about this. I think of myself being with a girl my age, who is also aloof, unemotional, and in a way somewhat cruel. I don't picture sex to be a part of this relationship.
 
^ Because although there is no sexual attraction, asexual people are still people and desire romantic relationships. But without all the lovey dovey/ cuddly shit. I wonder if I am too. Pretty sure I've been lying to myself this whole time.



Just remember that you're not alone. There are online communities where you can speak to other like minded people, and check out the megathread like RoughJack said. :)
 
I thought asexual people wanted the emotional closeness of the relationship but without the physical intimacy? Idk that is probably a generalisation I put together high/ I am probably talking shit haha.
 
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