As of today, I've decided to quit booze, looking for advice

[behindblueeyes]

So I've finally decided to cut the booze, for obvious reasons of what alcohol does when you're an alcoholic (frequent blackouts, relationships destroyed, basically surviving, not living, etc, etc, etc).

Also though, I've been having scary observations in the past few months. Before, when I would drink, I would wake up in the morning usually feeling fine and able to carry out my day (with the help of popping a klonopin-prescribed). Now, after a day bender, I would wake up with anxiety so ridiculous I can't even leave the house (even after taking klonopin. I've become agoraphobic. Now, if I don't drink for a few days, this lessens significantly, so I'm a big worried I'm struggling with a physical dependence.

Now I'm a thin 27/f, and can pretty much drink a case of beer in a day, so I know it's obviously wrecking havic on my nervous system and the rest of my body, and my tolerance has increased.

Cravings are going to kill me too, they usually get pretty bad around days 3-4 of not drinking because my physical symptoms start to subside and I start feeling better.

I don't think I need an inpatient detox, as I do have klonopin (although it no longer helps anxiety, it should at least keep seizures and stuff away, if that's even an issue.

I guess, as I said, I'm looking for any advice. It's amazing how this monstrous addiction can creep up and basically destroy your entire body. My mind feels like mush. I feel like mush.

 

[behindblueeyes]

i recommend smoking weed instead if alcohol is a problem

Smoking weed makes me feel paranoid and anxious. Wish it made it feel good, as it would make for a good substitute. Might try it again once I'm off alcohol for awhile, see if there's any changes as to how it makes me feel.

What about Gaba supplements, l-theanine? Any advice on these for helping?

Just realized looking at my previous posts.... that I made quite a few in regards to wanting to kick the booze/benzos. This time, I'm fully ready though. Go hard or go home.

 

[behindblueeyes]

l-theanine works well. i use it. good luck

Thanks! I've read good reviews on it too. I'm hoping to eventually wean off my klonopin and substitute using these supplements to help with the anxiety. Do Gaba supplements actually cross the blood brain barrier significantly? I know I can't just replace alcohol/benzos with it... I guess I'm curious to it's mode of action. That'll give me something to do today.

Feeling pretty uncomfortable right now, anxiety's quite bad. Trying to eat something healthy and drink fluids. Alcohol dependence is no joke. I can only imagine what it would be like without benzos.

 

[weekend addiction]

Give yourself some time to get off alcohol then slowly taper the benzos or you will most likely relapse hard. Exercise is good at any stage of withdrawal. I'm cutting back on drinking as well. The most I've drank in the past 5 days is 6 beers. Its been a slow process but I'm learning that with every drink I don't take I feel better. My brain has finally caught on to the fact that I don't like the effects of lots of alcohol. Even while drinking the urge to get drunk is finally gone.

 

[behindblueeyes]

Give yourself some time to get off alcohol then slowly taper the benzos or you will most likely relapse hard. Exercise is good at any stage of withdrawal. I'm cutting back on drinking as well. The most I've drank in the past 5 days is 6 beers. Its been a slow process but I'm learning that with every drink I don't take I feel better. My brain has finally caught on to the fact that I don't like the effects of lots of alcohol. Even while drinking the urge to get drunk is finally gone.

I'm definitely waiting awhile to taper the benzos. And I totally agree, the brain will eventually not like alcohol when constantly abused (as with the rest of the body) and the negatives will strongly start to outweigh the positives. When that started happening for me (constant shakiness, anxiety), I think my body was finally like "enough!"

 

[RTrain]

So I've finally decided to cut the booze, for obvious reasons of what alcohol does when you're an alcoholic (frequent blackouts, relationships destroyed, basically surviving, not living, etc, etc, etc).

Also though, I've been having scary observations in the past few months. Before, when I would drink, I would wake up in the morning usually feeling fine and able to carry out my day (with the help of popping a klonopin-prescribed). Now, after a day bender, I would wake up with anxiety so ridiculous I can't even leave the house (even after taking klonopin. I've become agoraphobic. Now, if I don't drink for a few days, this lessens significantly, so I'm a big worried I'm struggling with a physical dependence.

Now I'm a thin 27/f, and can pretty much drink a case of beer in a day, so I know it's obviously wrecking havic on my nervous system and the rest of my body, and my tolerance has increased.

Cravings are going to kill me too, they usually get pretty bad around days 3-4 of not drinking because my physical symptoms start to subside and I start feeling better.

I don't think I need an inpatient detox, as I do have klonopin (although it no longer helps anxiety, it should at least keep seizures and stuff away, if that's even an issue.

I guess, as I said, I'm looking for any advice. It's amazing how this monstrous addiction can ceep up and basically destroy your entire body. My mind feels like mush. I feel like mush.

The anxiety from hangovers is what has ruined alcohol for me, too. New Year's day 4 yrs ago I had a panic attack while outrageously hungover that legitimately had me feeling a mental mess for weeks. I still drink but I hate going over board. Now even mild hangovers can cause horrible anxiety and benzos are very necessary. It sucks because I like going out and drinking and my closest friends are big time drinkers. It is very hard to hang out with them and not drink to the point of having a hangover. So I frequently avoid going out with them because I don't want to drink heavily and end up with horrible anxiety the next day where I think I am dying and such. They think I don't like them cause I make up excuses not to hang out or just don't return calls, really I just know they're going to want to drink and I just don't want to deal with the repercussions anymore.

I fortunately can't say I get cravings for alcohol like you mention. You could say I have cravings for having a social life and I feel alcohol is necessary to go out and have a good time. Since I was 14 alcohol has been a staple for any social event or leisure activity, at least for the one's where it is acceptable.

 

[behindblueeyes]

The anxiety from hangovers is what has ruined alcohol for me, too. New Year's day 4 yrs ago I had a panic attack while outrageously hungover that legitimately had me feeling a mental mess for weeks. I still drink but I hate going over board. Now even mild hangovers can cause horrible anxiety and benzos are very necessary. It sucks because I like going out and drinking and my closest friends are big time drinkers. It is very hard to hang out with them and not drink to the point of having a hangover. So I frequently avoid going out with them because I don't want to drink heavily and end up with horrible anxiety the next day where I think I am dying and such. They think I don't like them cause I make up excuses not to hang out or just don't return calls, really I just know they're going to want to drink and I just don't want to deal with the repercussions anymore.

I fortunately can't say I get cravings for alcohol like you mention. You could say I have cravings for having a social life and I feel alcohol is necessary to go out and have a good time. Since I was 14 alcohol has been a staple for any social event or leisure activity, at least for the one's where it is acceptable.

The anxiety from hangovers was manageable years ago but they progressively got worse, to the point (recently) even talking to my parents and people I knew was provoking panic attacks. I wonder if some of this has to due with the lowered blood sugar the day after (I've had it days after drinking).... because as the day wears on and the more I eat and drink healthy stuff the anxiety goes back down to "manageable." And I'm sure some physical dependence is thrown in there too.

Well day one continues sober and throughout the day I took (I think) about 2mg of klonopin and feeling better. Although I isolated myself to keep anxiety at bay.... just trying to prepare for the next 4 days of work, ugh.

 

[RTrain]

I don't think it is a blood sugar issue, it might have something to do with it, but not the whole thing. Blood sugar can easily be restored to normal. It is more than likely a combination of dependence and being deficient in vital nutrients. Of course dehydration plays a role, too, that's a given. Some of the vitamins and minerals you lose from drinking can cause anxiety, depression and irritability. The most important to replenish are potassium, magnesium, calcium, and the B vitamins. It would be a good idea to get Magnesium citrate or strearate(these forms of mg have best absorption), potassium/calcium, and B complex supplements. If you are going to drink heavily, it helps to take them with food prior to drinking, maybe before you go to sleep and the next day after eating a meal.

For people who go to the emergency room for intense hangovers they typically give them a banana bag( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Banana_bag ). In some states you can actually call a service up that comes to your house and administers one for like 100 bucks.

I am about your age and I know the anxiety has gotten worse for me, too. I use to enjoy smoking some weed while hungover, was good relief and helped cure my hangover. But if I was to try it now I would have crippling anxiety for sure. For some reason weed in general has caused more more anxiety as I've gotten older. I know for me hangovers follow a typical pattern. I will be sick for the first part of the day with bad nausea, no appetite or energy. The anxiety I get usually starts later, after I start to physically feel better. Depends on how bag the hangover is as to when I get the anxiety. The worse ones I'll feel like crap on a stick all day and at night the anxiety will hit me hard and its awful. Not so bad ones I feel better after a few hours of being awake and the anxiety is minor, but still not much fun.

BTW good luck. I never had any problems not drinking due to dependence, like I already mentioned, but I know how hard addiction is to deal with. I currently am on suboxone to stop snorting heroin. So to end on a corny note I will say addiction is an up hill battle every day and just remember that because maybe you slip back down a little one day, you can always keep going up.

 

[smokemctoke420]

if you can find some librium then take that. other then that id keep a small amount of alcohol that someone else can hold on to. my alcohol habit is not near a case a day but im pretty positive you cannot just jump off at that amount. its gonna be dangerous and you dont wanna seize out. id keep taking the k-pins (im pretty sure they would work for w/d cuz im fairly sure they act on the gaba receptors as well (someone correct me if im wrong) and if you feel worse or feel a seizure coming on please dont wait it out. go to the emergency room as soon as possible.

i wish you luck on your journey to recovery. be safe.

 

[behindblueeyes]

I don't think it is a blood sugar issue, it might have something to do with it, but not the whole thing. Blood sugar can easily be restored to normal. It is more than likely a combination of dependence and being deficient in vital nutrients. Of course dehydration plays a role, too, that's a given. Some of the vitamins and minerals you lose from drinking can cause anxiety, depression and irritability. The most important to replenish are potassium, magnesium, calcium, and the B vitamins. It would be a good idea to get Magnesium citrate or strearate(these forms of mg have best absorption), potassium/calcium, and B complex supplements. If you are going to drink heavily, it helps to take them with food prior to drinking, maybe before you go to sleep and the next day after eating a meal.

For people who go to the emergency room for intense hangovers they typically give them a banana bag( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Banana_bag ). In some states you can actually call a service up that comes to your house and administers one for like 100 bucks.

I am about your age and I know the anxiety has gotten worse for me, too. I use to enjoy smoking some weed while hungover, was good relief and helped cure my hangover. But if I was to try it now I would have crippling anxiety for sure. For some reason weed in general has caused more more anxiety as I've gotten older. I know for me hangovers follow a typical pattern. I will be sick for the first part of the day with bad nausea, no appetite or energy. The anxiety I get usually starts later, after I start to physically feel better. Depends on how bag the hangover is as to when I get the anxiety. The worse ones I'll feel like crap on a stick all day and at night the anxiety will hit me hard and its awful. Not so bad ones I feel better after a few hours of being awake and the anxiety is minor, but still not much fun.

BTW good luck. I never had any problems not drinking due to dependence, like I already mentioned, but I know how hard addiction is to deal with. I currently am on suboxone to stop snorting heroin. So to end on a corny note I will say addiction is an up hill battle every day and just remember that because maybe you slip back down a little one day, you can always keep going up.

Thank you. I'm on the evening of the 2nd day of being sober. I am taking multivitamins to help, and with the combo of 2 mg of klonopin and trying to eat and stay hydrated during the day (my job requires a lot of walking, and I'm sure exercising is helping), today I feel slightly better. Was tense in the morning, but right now just a little shaky at times and a little anxious.

Slept well last night, thanks to mirtazapine and klonopin.

I've bought Gatorade, nutri-grain bars at the store today, amongst other things.

I think, like you said, my body was so deficient in nutrients and dehydrated because I was only feeding it beer, I could barely stand sometimes and would go into a full out panic in front of people. I'm surprised I never fainted. I probably should have.

I know, once I'm stable off the alcohol with my anxiety, the beast of getting off the benzos (that I've been on awhile) will inevitably begin. One thing at a time though. I damaged myself for so long, it's gonna take a long time to get back to normal.

 

[RTrain]

^Thats good to hear.

Definitely a one thing at a time mentality is the way to go. Sometimes I hear or read about people trying to jump off poly-substance dependencies all at once. I can't help but think how awful it must be and how unlikely they are to succeed. Its also quite dangerous.

Have you talked to your doctor about stopping the Clonazepam? I'm not suggesting to rush into it, just go at whatever pace is comfortable. But it'd probably help to have a course of action for when you do feel ready. Obviously a taper will be the best course of action. Also switching to Diazepam after tapering down to a relatively small dose of the Clonzaepam will probably help. Then tapering down with the Diazepam to a dose around 1-2 mg a day. It is weaker than Clonazepam and has a half life that is longer, 20-100 hours as opposed to Clonazepam 18-50. Off the top of my head 1 mg Clonazepam = 10-15 mg Diazepam.

 

[behindblueeyes]

^Thats good to hear.

Definitely a one thing at a time mentality is the way to go. Sometimes I hear or read about people trying to jump off poly-substance dependencies all at once. I can't help but think how awful it must be and how unlikely they are to succeed. Its also quite dangerous.

Have you talked to your doctor about stopping the Clonazepam? I'm not suggesting to rush into it, just go at whatever pace is comfortable. But it'd probably help to have a course of action for when you do feel ready. Obviously a taper will be the best course of action. Also switching to Diazepam after tapering down to a relatively small dose of the Clonzaepam will probably help. Then tapering down with the Diazepam to a dose around 1-2 mg a day. It is weaker than Clonazepam and has a half life that is longer, 20-100 hours as opposed to Clonazepam 18-50. Off the top of my head 1 mg Clonazepam = 10-15 mg Diazepam.

I brought up to my doctor about stopping the clonazepam awhile back, and he said when we we're ready we'd taper really slow. I brought up the diazepam thing, but he didn't seem to think it was necessary.

I agree about not stopping both substances at once. Once I am off the alcohol for awhile and feeling fine, then I'm going to tell my doctor about seriously wanting to stop the benzo.

 

[pally pete]

^Thats good to hear.

Definitely a one thing at a time mentality is the way to go. Sometimes I hear or read about people trying to jump off poly-substance dependencies all at once. I can't help but think how awful it must be and how unlikely they are to succeed. Its also quite dangerous.

I know this all too well. I had/have a severe Benzo & Opiate addiction. I've tried jumping off cold turkey on many occassion, the most recent being at the start of this year, I managed 11 weeks clean and then relapsed, then I had another 4 weeks clean before relapsing very hard and continued to use intermitently for 2 months. I last used on the 7th July, so Im 18 days clean again.

The truth is I have no idea how long this will last, I may use tomorrow, I may use next month, or I may not use for months or years, I just don't know! The physichal withdrawals are very much still there, although the past few nights I've managed possibly 5 - 6 hours broken sleep each night which is quite an achievement. During January - February - March (during my 11 week clean spell) I managed around the same amount of sleep which was also broken, waking at least 2 -3 times per night. This is what concerns me and also what I believe to be one of the main contributing factors in relapsing.

Anyway I've gone off on one a bit, but saying that I felt/feel awful is an understatement. As another poster on this thread mentioned, Isolating one's self seems the only way to help minimize the crippling Anxiety, although I'm quite certain that this is in no way a good thing. Unfortunately I don't know of any other way, I have friends weddings to attend this year which absolutely terrifies me, and the only thing I can see that will get me through is using again. I know this thread is about Alcohol but I can completely empathise with the way you may be feeling. I really hope you don't suffer when you decide to quit Benzos.

Best of luck

 

[Funkadelica]

Good luck! I'm in the same boat. This past year I've had some terribly bad drunken nights where I've ended up blacking out. Haven't been in such states since I was a teenager. Consequently, I've been getting the most horrendous hangovers, feeling very depressed, hopelessness and lots of guilt from the night before. I've tried to cut out the booze this month and lasted all of 2 weeks. Now when I have even 2 or 3 drinks I start to drift off from conversations, stare into space, negative thoughts start filling my head and I end up going home in a really sad and defeatist state. It's really not pleasant and I'm unsure on what to do. Maybe it's a sign of an underlying problem, who knows.

 

[mrflowers00]

if you start to get tremors after stopping drinking you need NEED to go to a doctor to get a small script of benzos to avoid the possibility of having a seizure

 

[behindblueeyes]

I do have benzos. Hence why it was easier for me to stop drinking.

Well today starts day 5 of no alcohol. I'm assuming I'm out of the park for seizures, DT's, at this point? I've been noticing something. My anxiety was bad in the morning yesterday, and the day before, but as the day drew on slowly got better. I think the cup of coffee I drink in the morning might be contributing, as my nervous system is probably still very sensitive.

Instead of my regular 2mg of clonazepam, yesterday, I got away with 1.5 mg .

I think I might just take the plunge and next week (well, a few days) begin my taper of the clonazepam, and notify my doctor. Think next week might be too soon, or a good week to start?

Tonight's gonna be really not hard to drink, it's Saturday night.... just gotta stay strong... lol, made it this far.

It's not really withdrawal anymore, it's cravings now. The cravings are unbelievable, probably because my body's been so used to this for so long.

 

[coldcomfort]

You mentioned the cravings when you begin feeling better. That is a sign that you need some help and not just the benzos. I realize you don't feel you need inpatient detox and you probably don't. I didn't get how old you were but I skimmed and may have missed it.

I drank like you at one point and grew tired of the need to drink out of a necessity rather than for enjoyment. It was at that point I knew there was a serious problem and I just stopped. I was pretty young and didn't drink every day because I was in college. It is amazing how resilient a young healthy individual is. I say this because I began drinking again later in life and it was horrible. I would get sick constantly from overdoing it. It always came down to boredom for me. I envy the people that can just sit down with a book and chill. I tried it and my mind races so much that I would be reading words but thinking about completely different things. "I will have a beer and it will make the book, movie, whatever, more enjoyable". One beer led to two-->three---- and so on.

The damn cravings are tough. I would have the same problem in the beginning. I would stop and when I felt good, the alcohol would call to me, "Hey, you are feeling pretty good, why not feel a little better?" I found that I would get extremely bored very quickly so having something to distract you is of paramount importance. Hence, you need some help/distractions.

One thing I do remember about sobering up was that I threw myself into exercising. I cannot do as much as I used to but I would play sports, run, bike, etc. Anything to relieve the boredom and distract me. Eventually, the cravings went away and I felt great because I was in shape. Alcohol does God awful things to your physiology. I know you already know that. I think I had that "moment of clarity" that they talk about alcoholics having. I was grateful to wake up in the morning and not feel the need to puke or have a headache that put me out of commission for a day.

Best of luck with the benzos and continued sobriety.