As a friend what can I do/be aware of to help someone coming off Opiates

[AcidTrippin]

A close friend of mine and some other friends are currently trying to get off heroin addictions using subutex. I'm experienced with all drugs, including this one and have had additions of my own, however not with opiates and not to the same extent and understand that. Harm reduction is the way forward in my opinion and so this is important to me, I'm sure people can understand that it can be stressful being in my position e.g. frustration due to lack of honesty, but also I'm aware that what my friend is going through is extremely tough and in my opinion needs seen as an illness but one that can be beaten using determination that I know my friend has.

I'm very into trying to orientate my friend to keep progressing as I know they are completely able to turn this around and go on with their life, also because I feel learning new things is what keeps me happy, but don't want to be coming across as forceful/not understanding/annoying essentially since I haven't been in their shoes with regards to the actual addiction and withdrawal using subs process. Can anyone who has been in either position comment on any suggestions or advice that could help me understand (despite all my experience) my friend but also give them some proper advice for these situations that can help them along the way.

To be honest my main issues have been somehow showing that I and many of his friends are not judgmental in any way whatsoever of the situation other than purely wanting to help. As I feel they can struggle to be open about what is actually going on with their usage despite talking about it often. Alongside this advice can sometimes be taken very harshly and seen as criticism as opposed to truthful information/advice to try and make a clear picture of the situation, this worries me as I notice sadness can play a big factor in usage and so I hope understandably I don't want to cause self-destruction. I feel the drugs are still very romantised despite the trouble they are causing. The big thing is though I truly don't know what it's like so my advice is just what I assume/read or from experiences with other drugs. I can't be around as often as I'd like to support either which is a regret.

Would be very good to see my mate nail it on the head with the support of myself and others, understandably it's a bumpy road but I feel there is so much enjoyment to be gained by getting past it and going on to enjoy the rest.

 

[neversickanymore]

I think the most important things are to be patent, lovable, not pushy, non judgemental, and supportive. I would try and talk with each of them and tell them that you love them and are there for them so they shouldn't worry at all to seek your suport. Say that you will be there for them, but know how god awful annoying it can be when someone takes to proactive an approach, even if its with the best intentions. Let them know that you realize that this is their battle but you are there to suport them when they need it. Let them know you respect them and are there to help. So a I love, respect, and am here for you but am not going to bother them, so reach the fuck out when you need it, would be the approach I would take.

I admire your heart.. and please be careful that your not the next one in line.. Please look at the drugs you take and what they do.. IMHO there are amazing drugs and then there are drugs whose probable outcome does not justify their use.

I wish the very best for your you and your friends.

 

[Maya]

I think the most important things are to be patent, lovable, not pushy, non judgemental, and supportive. I would try and talk with each of them and tell them that you love them and are there for them so they shouldn't worry at all to seek your suport. Say that you will be there for them, but know how god awful annoying it can be when someone takes to proactive an approach, even if its with the best intentions. Let them know that you realize that this is their battle but you are there to suport them when they need it. Let them know you respect them and are there to help. So a I love, respect, and am here for you but am not going to bother them, so reach the fuck out when you need it, would be the approach I would take.

I admire your heart.. and please be careful that your not the next one in line.. Please look at the drugs you take and what they do.. IMHO there are amazing drugs and then there are drugs whose probable outcome does not justify their use.

I wish the very best for your you and your friends.

I agree with NSA, be careful not to push them too much. When I was in active addiction there were times when I wouldn't want to talk to two of my closest friends because they kept pushing me and telling me every single time. They already know that they need to work hard for getting off opiates so all you have to do is support them and be there to listen.

 

[herbavore]

As someone that has been on the other side--the "supporting" side, I can tell you that it is the hardest, most intricate dance you will ever do and there is a huge learning curve. The difference between support and enabling, between support and control, between support and pushing are all so finely nuanced and even change as the circumstances change. It is a very human dance and learning that dance is basically learning the true meaning of love, the meaning of boundaries and the meaning of real respect. I probably don't have to tell you any of this because you say you have struggled with your own addictions so you have been on both sides. All I can say is that the fear and despair of one's addiction is shared by those that love them and the responsibility for everything from feelings to action lies with each individual no matter where they are in the equation. Take good care of yourself, continually work to establish trust and remember always what you can (only your own life) and can't control (no one else). You sound like a wonderful friend to have and I wish you and your friends safe journey out of the mess that is in fact an epidemic in North America--opiate addiction.

 

[ad lib]

what a great friend you are.

like everyone else has said, just be supportive and understanding. if they do not want to talk one day or are not feeling up to going out, do not be too pushy. make sure that you're there to listen and talk about it if they want to, but do not pry or push to get information out of them, as this may drive them further away. it's not an easy ride, and it takes a strong person to support their friends throughout the journey.