Are you "That guy/girl"? Tell us your stories!

[Damien]

Are you the one at a party who has the lampshade on your head at around 9PM? Are you the one that the host needs to find a bed for at around 10PM? Have you ever knocked over your friend's urn which contained grandma's remains while showing off your moshing skills; or maybe put a hole in a wall when the owners of the house weren't looking to remodel quite yet?

Some of us may make a bad habit out of getting wasted and taking things too far, too quickly. Some of us may just have just made a mistake once or twice. Regardless, in light of yesterdays festivities (cinco de Mayo), I thought it would be a good time to share some humorous anecdotes. These don't have to be from yesterday but I thought a fresh batch may have accrued.

So tell us your humorous horror stories of the time you or a friend took it a little too far at a party.

Congrats to Syyth007 for being the biggest A-hole at a party!!!

 

[Youkai]

I once was a BLighters house, shootinga bunch of ketamine, woke up ~9:00am and it was maybe 1:30am when they realised I ahdnt eaten a thing, all Iv done all day was bang ketamine.

I once living in norfolk virginia and we ahd this horrible annoying neighbor, well we got drunk and broke into there hosue and set off bug bombs while they slept and I urinated in every shampo, soap, and conditioner bottle and never told them.

one time I was shooting nup in teh chicago grey hound bus staion, I bought these tiny rigs so I had to sue three for the giant abg of cut dope, well I set them on the toilet paper dispenser and as I was popping a vein they all fell in the stall next to me, the clincher was it was between a guys feet who was takinga shit. so I had reach under there and grab them in full view of this man shitting.



more to come, alot of mine are kinda depressing but if you can get apst it they can be kinda funny

 

[fizzacyst]

Did the defecating fellow say anything? I mean, WTF was going through his head when you reach under the stall, between the guys legs, to grab now poo-germ-laden syringes?

That would weird me out a bit.
Did you just start whistling a cheery tune or something after that, like it never happened?

 

[VerbalTruist]

For the person who wins this they will also receive this as a reward.

Good lookin'

I'm usually THAT guy. Except I remain concious and go crazy. Does that make me not that guy?

 

[flat line]

My ex wifes family had fucking epic parties during the early 2000's and every fucking picture my mother-n law every took had me with my ass out in the pick. Yeah I was that guy but everyone luved me. Now im just a fucking responsible adult...

 

[Pharcyde]

Oh man where do I begin? I hope there is no limit on stories because I have a few;

Ok one time I was drinking with my friends and this baclk kid I called Wilson was there. So Im walking around this house and I see this statue of I shit you not, a black panther! So Im holding it above my head and Wilson was trying to say somthing to me, but all I said was "Take it back to Africa" I then proceeded to smash this statue on the floor. We had a good laugh

Ok another time I was drinking with some of my brother friends and two of the four passed out, so its me and Jeff right. So Wilson(again) is passed out with a bag of cheetos in hand. And matt passed out with his pants halfway down. So we sprinkle some cheetos on matts ass and put wilsons face into the ass/cheeto mix and take pictures.
Well thefun just doesnt end there. I get the bright idea that Im going to draw on matts face with per manent marker. And jeff found one of those big black magnum markers, the real thick fuckers! So I gave him big thick black glasses, a curly mustache, a little devil goatee, and was working on those big thick triangle eyebrows(think jackolantern eyes) so I got one done all filled in, and I hear matt waking up! So I pretend Im sleeping on the couch, and jeff is walking out of the bathroom. So matt is going to the bathroom and to get there you have to walk by this big mirror right. So matt is stumbling on by and does a double take in the mirror. And about that time jeff is walking towards him then all the sudden out of nowhere matt hits jeff in the face and they get into it. I was laughing so fucking hard seeing a kid all markered up like that.

Ok one time I was drinking with Wilson(again). Well Wilson was so fucked up that he deicded to hang out of my car window to yell "White Power" at a bunch of mexicans

there are more I just gotta think about them

 

[Damien]

For the person who wins this they will also receive this as a reward.

Good lookin'

I'm usually THAT guy. Except I remain concious and go crazy. Does that make me not that guy?

No, you're still that guy. Tell us some stories. :D

 

[faris]

i was at a party in college once and went upstairs to use the restroom. they didn't have any toilet paper in there so instead of drip-drying, i used someone's bath towel. yeah...didn't tell anybody and didn't put it out of sight, just hung it back up on the rack.

 

[Damien]

Awww, No more stories?!

 

[syyth007]

At the usual high school party, a (large) friend and I decided to create an entryway from the living room into the kitchen. The house was incredibly crowded and it took too long to get to the beer/liquor (which was in the kitchen... obviously). The hole ended up being about four feet high, by three feet wide (we removed the entire wall between the support beams). The kid who threw the party started crying once he found the hole. Apparently the house was brand new. I laughed about it at the time, but feel kind of bad about it now.

That is one of the reasons I never threw a kegger at a house I owned!

This one is one of my father's war stories from the 70's: He was at a party at a friends house, and apparently he thought it would be a good idea to remove the shower curtain, place it in the tub, put lighter fluid on it, and set it ablaze.

The kid who lived at the house FREAKED out, turned on the shower, and then started to punch out every window and piece of glass in his own house. There were lots of psychedelics floating around, so this seemed like a logical idea to him at the time.

 

[DamiensLOVER]

I once drank more than I should have really early at a house party in high school. It was really early, maybe around 10, but the party was already in full swing. I started lurking in the host's bedroom and came across a copy of Mein Kampf.

I brought it out into the living room and opened it up randomly and started reading aloud whatever I came across. I happened to land on a juicy section regarding ethnic cleansing. I also happened to be saying all of this in front of a rather large group of Vietnamese guys who were part of a local gang Viet gang. They weren't very accommodating to what I had to say. If it hadn't been for the intervention of some friends I would have had my ass handed to me all night.

 

[khaosddt]

Oh man where do I begin? I hope there is no limit on stories because I have a few;

Ok one time I was drinking with my friends and this baclk kid I called Wilson was there. So Im walking around this house and I see this statue of I shit you not, a black panther! So Im holding it above my head and Wilson was trying to say somthing to me, but all I said was "Take it back to Africa" I then proceeded to smash this statue on the floor. We had a good laugh

Ok another time I was drinking with some of my brother friends and two of the four passed out, so its me and Jeff right. So Wilson(again) is passed out with a bag of cheetos in hand. And matt passed out with his pants halfway down. So we sprinkle some cheetos on matts ass and put wilsons face into the ass/cheeto mix and take pictures.
Well thefun just doesnt end there. I get the bright idea that Im going to draw on matts face with per manent marker. And jeff found one of those big black magnum markers, the real thick fuckers! So I gave him big thick black glasses, a curly mustache, a little devil goatee, and was working on those big thick triangle eyebrows(think jackolantern eyes) so I got one done all filled in, and I hear matt waking up! So I pretend Im sleeping on the couch, and jeff is walking out of the bathroom. So matt is going to the bathroom and to get there you have to walk by this big mirror right. So matt is stumbling on by and does a double take in the mirror. And about that time jeff is walking towards him then all the sudden out of nowhere matt hits jeff in the face and they get into it. I was laughing so fucking hard seeing a kid all markered up like that.

Ok one time I was drinking with Wilson(again). Well Wilson was so fucked up that he deicded to hang out of my car window to yell "White Power" at a bunch of mexicans

there are more I just gotta think about them

You and ur friend are the kind of person i love to smash when im drunk....

 

[Jesse Drake II]

I was only, "That Guy" once. I was at an after prom party, and my buddy and I split a large bottle of vodka. Once the bottle was done, I was needless to say, Shitfaced, blind drunk!

So, I'm leaning on the kitchen counter, then I just tip over like a big tree and smash my large head on the bottom of my friends parents stove, breaking that bottom draw thing that slides out. Somehow, after a couple of minutes I was back up and in action!

I'm guessing the time, but about an hour later I have to take a dump, and possibly puke. So, I enter the little bathroom that is downstairs and sure enough I start to puke. Puke is no big deal, but the hot moisture in back of my boxer shorts is kind of a big deal! Being extremely "smart" I take my boxers off and try to flush them down the peoples toilet. I give it a couple flushes and the toilet overflows. I said Fuck it! close the door, turn on the fan, haha.

I think it took 1 minute for the kid who's house it was to catch on to my smooth manuever. He is a good friend and escorted me upstairs to his room with a bucket right next to me, where I puked and passed out for the rest of the night.

I hated being "that guy who shit his pants, and tried to flush his underwear down the toilet".....

 

[Damien]

LOL I know someone who did that almost exact same thing! Great stories guys, keep em coming!

 

[Jesse Drake II]

When is the contest over? I want my gift damnit!

 

[Pharcyde]

You and ur friend are the kind of person i love to smash when im drunk....

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOk

Anyhow here is another one:

My friend Russ and I were hanging out in his car trippin on shrooms and smoking weed at this party of kids that were like 2 years younger than me. I just went to drop off some vodka to my brother, and say hi, to wilson,jeff, and matt. So were parked infront of the house, the party seemed very laidback not too much noise or nothing. So I get the bright idea to start screaming "Oh my god help he is killing me, and shit like, I can feel the penetration of every jab of the knife". And this went on for a good half an hour, I think only beacuse russ was giggling so hard! So after we smoke a big ole fatty we drive off. I though nothing of it until like 2 police cars go flying by! HA the end result was a massive issuing of MIPs, one girl taken to the hospital for alcohol poisoning, and jeffs dad got a ticket for the whole thing!

 

[euphoria]

i was at a party in college once and went upstairs to use the restroom. they didn't have any toilet paper in there so instead of drip-drying, i used someone's bath towel. yeah...didn't tell anybody and didn't put it out of sight, just hung it back up on the rack.

that is fuckin nasty. im never inviting you to my house. but it made me lol.

 

[euphoria]

I once drank more than I should have really early at a house party in high school. It was really early, maybe around 10, but the party was already in full swing. I started lurking in the host's bedroom and came across a copy of Mein Kampf.

I brought it out into the living room and opened it up randomly and started reading aloud whatever I came across. I happened to land on a juicy section regarding ethnic cleansing. I also happened to be saying all of this in front of a rather large group of Vietnamese guys who were part of a local gang Viet gang. They weren't very accommodating to what I had to say. If it hadn't been for the intervention of some friends I would have had my ass handed to me all night.

hahahhahahhaa
wow

 

[euphoria]

i vote for jesse. cuz that shit was funny as fuck. they all are though.

ill post mine later.

 

[JV]

ill add a story from my 23rd bday tomorrow. it was fun. :D