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Are you even a poet?

A

awkwardapple

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 28, 2010
Messages
100
why does this weed get me high...
makes me sad why
I can’t grow wings and fly
and why I can’t write
because the herb took the derb on the woody doody curb
 
awkwardapple said:
why does this weed get me high...
makes me sad why
I can’t grow wings and fly
and why I can’t write
because the herb took the derb on the woody doody curb
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I liked it but ever since I've been critisized for my writings I now notice that your rhyme scheme is off and your rhyme meter is off, is this correct is that what I see in you poem? Do these guiedlines apply to your poem?
 
Note the line 'and why I can't write', it's laced with irony. It makes me laugh

Maybe you couldn't find the rhythm because you were rapping it? To me, I read it with the sigh of a sad old man, or the voice of eyeore from winnie the pooh with slighted dead pan on the final line. Maybe there isn't one? Who says poems have to have guidelines? Bukowski sure would spit on that idea.
have no idea what a rhyme meter is!
I really liked your Tupac rhyme/rap btw
 
I agree but I just want to shut my critics up.Could you leave a comment om my tupac rap please, sense you liked it?. I must tell you I am a hated troll and you might get shit from people (spitefully) for being so polite to me.
 
1josephjohn said:
I agree but I just want to shut my critics up.Could you leave a comment om my tupac rap please, sense you liked it?. I must tell you I am a hated troll and you might get shit from people (spitefully) for being so polite to me.
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Thanks, I read some of you posts, you wre a lot more serious with me than others - just saying.
 
in the past touched by a pastor I was a master gargler i couldn't rhyme faster ger, then was struck by an aircrafterger. WORD
 
"Are you even a poet"

Bitch you know it, I get going with flowing
find me growing it, over in the Cannabis Discussion forums
Im potent by nature, whose playing these games
I came to play once, and fuck up this bunch
who wanna try to confront me, but not with their fist
claiming there lyrics are vicious, and outwiting me.
 
calls himself wise, he's laden cursed with profane cries of bitch and flow well yeah of course, dead fish float. He growls like a dog, all threatening words, most likely lost in the fog cos he's smoking the herb through a mouth like a bog, all talking shit, no substance, he's abusing the beautiful sentences structured for man to make good for, not blow smoke up the arse of the ego whore
 
awkwardapple said:
calls himself wise, he's laden cursed with profane cries of bitch and flow well yeah of course, dead fish float. He growls like a dog, all threatening words, most likely lost in the fog cos he's smoking the herb through a mouth like a bog, all talking shit, no substance, he's abusing the beautiful sentences structured for man to make good for, not blow smoke up the arse of the ego whore
Click to expand...
You dont really know what your up agaisnt, I put in the work
Im using a different style, when im writing over the internet
so all of you can understand it, in immaculate sense
see in the real world, im flipping this shit faster then a card shuffler on meth
what do you expect, if I put up my real shit
the rest of you lighter's be like
"I aint following it!"
So im slowing it down, keeping the lyrics exciting
and something ya'll can understand, like witnessing britney spears dieing
If your really serious about it, record the spit, then throw it up
then we'll see whose really fucking this shit, and blowing up.
 
Good to hear you be spittin' it but at the end of the day I just don't give a shit. See I don't rap though I might rhyme and hell, your rappers lark's a poet's crime. You're all hot heat It seems you wanna be the next big white thing maybe play with eminem's dingaling? Ding -a-ling! See I'm not cocky cos I'm smart It's just something big I'm sittin' on, like da vinci code, you won't get it, if I tell you Wise then you'll get all epileptic, it's so bright you go blind you'll cook like bitchin' pork rind Haha! Hoho, I think I sound like someone I know, forget it, shit I'm just a middle class white boy blazed and fuckin' with yo shit
 
knockando said:
Those that say, "that don't rhyme",
they ain't critics, they're just slime,
they wouldn't know a decent poem
from a bunch of words that just ain't flowin'.
Click to expand...

1josephjohn said:
Great wisdom and flow, I needed that.
Click to expand...

awkwardapple said:
Good to hear you be spittin' it but at the end of the day I just don't give a shit. See I don't rap though I might rhyme and hell, your rappers lark's a poet's crime. You're all hot heat It seems you wanna be the next big white thing maybe play with eminem's dingaling? Ding -a-ling! See I'm not cocky cos I'm smart It's just something big I'm sittin' on, like da vinci code, you won't get it, if I tell you Wise then you'll get all epileptic, it's so bright you go blind you'll cook like bitchin' pork rind Haha! Hoho, I think I sound like someone I know, forget it, shit I'm just a middle class white boy blazed and fuckin' with yo shit
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Nice battle guys!
 
We ammoung a society, mostly of drug using folks
thank god for the internet, in BlueLight we trust
Nothing but the best information, on harm reduction
and general facts, from weed, speed, LSD down to extacy and ketamine
and all types of legal prescriptions
wheather it's oral, IV'ed or crushed up in beads
and racked up instranasally
whatever info you need, you'll find from a group of members here
 
knockando said:
Those that say, "that don't rhyme",
they ain't critics, they're just slime,
they wouldn't know a decent poem
from a bunch of words that just ain't flowin'.
Click to expand...

1josephjohn said:
They’re all laughing at me yelling telling me stop don’t try I can’t rap
Giving me shit hell passing me by spitting shitting on me and all that

I’m nowhere near the top I fell off I’m off and I’m so fucking wack
I’m just a white boy I’ll never be Eminem or sell a cd - I’m smacked

They all smiled cheered then smacked me right across my fucking face
I’m fighting back swinging scratching clawing and stuck in this place.

They’re stomping the shit out of me breaking my nose jaw and heart
I got dobbed plenty I even tried explaining it to those from the start.
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Wise420 said:
We ammoung a society, mostly of drug using folks
thank god for the internet, in BlueLight we trust
Nothing but the best information, on harm reduction
and general facts, from weed, speed, LSD down to extacy and ketamine
and all types of legal prescriptions
wheather it's oral, IV'ed or crushed up in beads
and racked up instranasally
whatever info you need, you'll find from a group of members here
Click to expand...

Great content but I can't find the rhyme scheme?
 
That's right blue light welcome the humble drug folk
whether schizophrenia struck from that grade he smoked
or Sigmund Freud injecting his brain coke
Someone Tell him he's doing it wrong!
he carries on like that he won't be groovin' for long
He may be genius but our junkies are pro
take your eyes off ya mum Freud it's time to take note
Like Jesus laid back, but I don't think he be hittin' the bong
If he did I don't think we would have lasted this long
the devil dishevelled, more than enough of them here
The people be twisted, cursed and looping the years
They be cursed, twisted and looping the years
They be looping the years, looping the years
Twisted and looping the years
 
awkwardapple said:
That's right blue light welcome the humble drug folk
whether schizophrenia struck from that grade he smoked
or Sigmund Freud injecting his brain coke
Someone Tell him he's doing it wrong!
he carries on like that he won't be groovin' for long
He may be genius but our junkies are pro
take your eyes off ya mum Freud it's time to take note
Like Jesus laid back, but I don't think he be hittin' the bong
If he did I don't think we would have lasted this long
the devil dishevelled, more than enough of them here
The people be twisted, cursed and looping the years
They be cursed, twisted and looping the years
They be looping the years, looping the yearsTwisted and looping the years
Click to expand...
This shit here, is looping my mind
not cus im twisted like sick bitches, fucking grandmother's for 2 payslips
I can flick a switch for poetry, and light up again
then a bunch of negro's, smoking a bunch of prerolled joints
im not a racist much, not an angel either
cus I shat in the english teachers sandwhich for lunch
then came back at dinner, and left a shit in her fridge
I dance around all day, actin like im the best
according to awkard apples, cus he must know this
you got 3 "a's" in your name, and there not even capital's
so im gonna beat your ass, cus im pluggin in double "A" batterys
 
your stretching for rhyme now I guess your ether is hazy,
your lines now be crumbling I sense you gettin' A LIL crazy
or maybe all those drugs just got you straight up lazy?
says I the sensei, the maker, king's eye
brought into your game of queer's rap 'die, die, die'
of low IQ and grace, like now I'm spittin' disgrace
brought down to a level with Gadaffi and his rebels
so I see you looped back wise, to your 'get skulls and crack' wise
what a shame, a pity, to see you talking like that
so now I'll squeeze those wings right out my back
yeah I think I'll roll it back now roll it back
hit that bong and talk a swizzle dizzle on the fritzl stick instead
 
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