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Are things ever fun again totally sober?

nuttynutskin

nuttynutskin

Bluelighter
Joined
May 15, 2011
Messages
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Basically I really need to try to quit drinking for good for health reasons, but I really don't like who I am sober. I'm apathetic, antisocial, socially phobic and boring to name a few and probably why I started drinking in the first place. But for the purpose of this thread, if someone were to ask me if I wanted to go out to eat I'd mostly likely say no. If I had been drinking I'd say hell yeah and fuck it I'll pay this time, and have another drink before I left the house. Or certain other things that I would associate with drinking like playing pool, bowling, holidays etc. So I guess my question is, can you ever break the association of drinking with doing certain things, and are things ever fun again? Part of me is scared for my health if I don't quit, but another part of me is scared to go without drinking. I don't want to die of alcoholism but I also don't want to live depressed and apathetic all the time.
 
i hear it takes a lot of time, years actually. but I've never made it past 40 days so idk thats just what many people have told me
 
I stopped using drugs 1 year and 3 months ago and got completely sober (quit drinking) 8 months ago. The only buzz I get these days is 1 or 2 cups of coffee a day. When I first got sober I could have written the same post you did. I rarely get alcohol or drug cravings anymore, and when they do come I have a plan to deal with them. One thing I had to learn early on that was hard for me was to avoid situations with associations that could trigger me. For me that was parties, bars, clubs and electronic music - all of which defined 10+ years of my life. My sobriety felt very fragile for a long time, and for months about the only time I got out was to go to work. The rest of the time I spent at home focused on sobriety work.

The good news is that the associations do start to fade over time. I can now listen to electronic music at home without getting triggered, but quite frankly without being high or drunk I don't find most of it that interesting. Yesterday was also a first where I tested going to a bar patio with some out of town friends. I drank water while they had sangria; I had a great time. I didn't feel any desire to drink, but I also believe if you play with fire eventually you get burned - so that's not something I plan to do on a regular basis.

Things do get fun again, but it takes time. Early sobriety was so boring I hardly knew what to do with myself. You have to be open to new experiences and trying new things, and over time I found I have way more fun sober than I ever did while drunk or high. Of course the high, good feelings aren't that high but the best part is that the lows aren't that low. I found out that most of my anti-social behaviour, social phobia, anxiety and being boring were a product of me being an addict and an alcoholic. I didn't realize how much my addictions were causing anxiety in the long-term when I actually thought they were helping me cope. My social anxiety and depression went down dramatically after a few months of sobriety, and although I'll always be a natural introvert with a low social threshold I am finding I actually enjoy being around other people.

The key to success is to have a plan and a support system in place. Those things are what got me through the inevitable rough patches in those earliest days of sobriety when I was really struggling.

I wish you all the best - you can do this. :-)
 
People normally feel depressed, lethargic and sad when they are sober. It gets better with time.
If you really commit and force yourself to make some exercises you´ll feel better, but cravings do bother from time to time and you have to learn how to adapt to this new life.

At one point or another everyone of us has to stop. If we don´t do that, there is nothing good or better in the future and sobriety becomes a distant wish.

I´m sober after being on opiates for decades and off methadone which I use to see as an easy way out as I did feel normal and did have a vision of a nice life without drugs.
But that wasn´t working either, so in the beginning of this year I decided to stop for good. It was not my first time but I hope it will be my last.

If you get someone to support you and follow up with a doctor it can be much more tolerable in the beginning. Doctors prescribe some mild medications in order to make your process as smoothly as possible, but that´s only until you recover physically.
And during the period your fight is towards being physically healthy, you´ll feel stronger.
Some feel incredible free after that. Others crave to go back to forget all the bad feelings they are going through.

Emotionally speaking you´ll probably need to deal with a lot of things that has happened whiled you were off on booze or substances.

I can´t promise your life will be brilliant and shiny in the beginning but that may be your only way out.
And even with all those bad feelings, eventually you will prefer to be sober rather than to go back to your old life where you are putting your health in danger.

I suggest you join an AA group, stay put in BL and look for whatever it can help you. Write, talk, unload whatever you have to and do this for you.
You will find a lot of support when you decide to quit.
Good luck!
Erik
 
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I'm having a lot more fun in my life now that I quit doing psychedelics 11 weeks ago, and quit weed 3 weeks ago. When I was using psychedelics heavily, the only fun thing I had in my life was drug use. But now that I'm sober I have a girlfriend and hobbies that I find much more enjoyable than using drugs. Drugs just sucked up so much time and money that it made it difficult to enjoy other aspects of life. I'm glad that now that I am sober I can fully enjoy all the other good things in life. I'm never going back to using drugs because I would rather explore new things that I haven't tried yet, which would surely be more fun than chasing that same high over and over again.
 
That´s very good to know. I like posts like this. It gives me hope! :D
 
Erikmen said:
If you really commit and force yourself to make some exercises you´ll feel better, but cravings do bother from time to time and you have to learn how to adapt to this new life.
Click to expand...

If you mean exercises as in working out I was back at the gym for about 2 1/2 months but eventually I started feeling bored and depressed again even tho I was working out. I figured if I just got strict with my diet and working out again that would cover it but eventually that quit working too.
 
I´m trying to follow the same patch. Exercise, eating well, and when in holidays keep myself busy as much as I can.
This is the first time off I had at work and it´s the first time I do it sober. My family traveled far away to see their relatives and I decided to stay this time. They are coming tonight, but I was hoping to be more motivated. I think we have to keep going forward. There is no other way for me.

I could have done anything during these days but I found myself to be quite harsh on me.
More than anyone else.

I still lack endorphin IMO, but I know this is a long way and it might never happen.
I still choose to stay sober every time.
I would never, ever again succeed if I´d relapse so I´m very demanding on myself.
It took months to get me totally okay physically.
Honestly I had expected that after almost 5 months I would be much better.

I am trying very hard! I´m being super strong, even learnt to detect my weak points only to finally figured this is something I owe to myself. I ask for patience.
 
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This is a great thread!!!
vancb-you need to post over here on sober life more often!!!Erikmen-you seem to have a really good handle on things in your life -beleiveing that you do not have anohter successful relapse in you is a very good way of thinking. You might be right
There are some interesting amounts of clean time -vanc, 15 months, erik, 6 months, snort, 3 months, and im heading into 2 months
Nutty-i hope you keep posting. Personally, i am still at the stage of struggling socially. I am not comfortable in my own skin yet. But i have hope that it wont always be like this.
 
Oh hell yes, but it A: Takes time and B: You might have to find new fun things.

On July 4th I went over to a friends house who I hadn't seen since I got clean. We listened to the Dead show and caught up with each other (there were a few friends there). They were drinking a bit but not much. Last year around this time I only had a few months clean so it would have been really hard for me to be around that alcohol. But this time it was totally fine, I don't want to drink so its not a big deal. They made a bigger deal about it then I did. One person didn't know I had quit and offered me a drink and everyone else just yelled at him "HE DOESN"T DRINK ANYMORE"... I am like its cool guys. LOL

Also, I have found plenty of people that I can have fun with clean as well.

Been clean for a year, 2 month and a few days and my life has never been better. I am going through a difficult time with my GF (or Ex-GF, still not sure on that one) relapsing and needing space but I am still having a blast for the most part. Even when I feel like shit and depressed its better then being fucked up. My first reaction isn't to "use" to block negative feelings anymore, its to do something like "pray", "walk", "lift", "distract" (Video Games and/or new or favorite restaurant), "meeting", "call sponsor" etc etc
 
Thank you so much for your inputs. It´s a really great thread and it really helps looking through other points of view, good new ideas like Phactor´s had.
I am also attending to an AA meeting, although my issue is really with opiates. I´m grateful it´s nearby so I can walk there.
I prefer AA meetings rather than NA because of the atmosphere. NA in my town is not really well developed and pretty often I see people going there just to find new dealers. This is of course an exception but it is what it is.

Thank you for the motivating words Imtryin! That´s the way and I am pretty positive now regardless of my cravings from time to time.
I heard once that you just have to focus and try to wait for that hour to pass and it will go away for a while. I´m getting better in doing this.

I really hope things get better. I´m sorry about your gf Phactor. These emotional issues can drag you down but you seem to be pretty solid so congrats to all!
You´ve been great!
 
What is? Being sober is definitely boring I must confess. If that´s what you are implying.
 
herbavore said:
Being sober is as boring as you yourself make it. I am never bored. TBH I don't even understand it.
Click to expand...

qft. Do something you love. Make art, make music, make love, write, observe, live. Go places you couldn't go when you were drinking/drugging. Save some money take a trip somewhere you've never been. Meet new people, make new friends, run through the fields of life naked and dripping with enthusiasm.
 
I have come to appreciate a sober mind-state more than an inebriated one, for the most part.

It's not like being high. You may never feel as fucked up again. But being sober is a major improvement. There's something about sobriety that makes you feel good in a way that drugs and alcohol never can. You won't be sabotaging yourself anymore. You'll be more in control. You'll be living in this world, not some far-off fantasy land that no one can empathize with. It's not "good" like being fucked up. But it's a massive improvement.

You deserve to get treatment. A doctor can hook you up with the medicine that would most target your underlying disorder, which is the reason that you drink so much. But also, it's extremely important that you go to therapy/AA, and that you understand that only you can make yourself better, meaning that you should implement exercise, socialization, and mental work into your daily routine. If you don't, you're not doing all you ca to help yourself.

I've been there, man. I've had my run-ins with alcohol. I was addicted to alcohol when I was a kid. I got off it cold turkey (which isn't advised). Now, I'm able to have a few drinks per week. But that probably isn't the same for you. I was horribly addicted to it, but not that much.

I'm sure you know this or you wouldn't be posting, but alcohol will ruin your life for good if you don't do something about it. It's all up to you. Treatment is out there.
 
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