Today was mediocre at best. It rained and consequently the atmosphere outside was battleship gray and thus I myself was feeling battleship gray. The plus side is that my cutting cycle is over. I was out of shape a few months ago and have been on a strict regime of supplements and vitamins. My BMI (body mass index/body fat percentage) is now at 10%. According to statistics, that's under weight but now I have a perfect foundation for a bulking cycle and finally one more cutting cycle. Add in the fact I stopped with the drinking and partying a lot, and my over active metabolism, I will be looking and feeling very healthy come this summer. But enough of this. I feel like talking of other things.
I just got back from a walk. Needed to get out of my house so I grabbed my cigarettes, my music, and fired up some Conjure One. It was raining and I got soaked but it really did not matter. I did not mind. In a way it was almost pleasant, as if I was cleansing myself, which felt needed because lately I have been feeling weird. When I say weird I mean high and low. There are days where I get this euphoria, this feeling of divinity, as if I am on a drug of sorts and then there are days where I want to just spend it in bed, encased in an armor of black and golden thread to keep myself safe from harm. It gets rather confusing sometimes and causes me a great deal of stress. Whats amazing though is despite how bad I feel, I can swing back from it in a snap now. When I am with my girlfreind for instance, that veil of depression just runs off my shoulders the instant I see her, or when I start laughing with my freinds it slowly lifts away and dissipates into nothingness, or sometimes I just start laughing for no reason to myself and I feel better. Although when it comes to my girlfreind, its mutual as far as making each other feel good and bringing each others heads and hearts back into the aether, something I'm still in awe over. I have also been reading this book my girlfreind gave me and its taught me to cherish and savor the moment instead of dwelling on things and its also taught me to drown out the machinery in my head without the aid of a chemical. The meditation and acupuncture I have been dabbling with more often is also helping. I sat back today and thought about how far I have come and I have blossomed like a flower emotionally, intellectually, and physically. The only thing holding me back in this stupid insomnia which I hope to get rid of this week after I visit my doctor tomorrow. If I was able to sleep good things would be amazing.
Later I am going to write about what I was thinking today... How the world and people in it are like beautiful ink blots. Like those Rorschach pictures, but ever changing and morphing.
Tomorrow shall be a good day. I will be chilling with the love of my life, the one and only Little Miss after she gets off of work. I am excited. Even though I saw her yesterday I miss her lol.
Wow... I just got a text from her. All I will say is that she is cute, funny, and one hell of a smart ass... I love her. But to hell with her coffee!
I just got back from a walk. Needed to get out of my house so I grabbed my cigarettes, my music, and fired up some Conjure One. It was raining and I got soaked but it really did not matter. I did not mind. In a way it was almost pleasant, as if I was cleansing myself, which felt needed because lately I have been feeling weird. When I say weird I mean high and low. There are days where I get this euphoria, this feeling of divinity, as if I am on a drug of sorts and then there are days where I want to just spend it in bed, encased in an armor of black and golden thread to keep myself safe from harm. It gets rather confusing sometimes and causes me a great deal of stress. Whats amazing though is despite how bad I feel, I can swing back from it in a snap now. When I am with my girlfreind for instance, that veil of depression just runs off my shoulders the instant I see her, or when I start laughing with my freinds it slowly lifts away and dissipates into nothingness, or sometimes I just start laughing for no reason to myself and I feel better. Although when it comes to my girlfreind, its mutual as far as making each other feel good and bringing each others heads and hearts back into the aether, something I'm still in awe over. I have also been reading this book my girlfreind gave me and its taught me to cherish and savor the moment instead of dwelling on things and its also taught me to drown out the machinery in my head without the aid of a chemical. The meditation and acupuncture I have been dabbling with more often is also helping. I sat back today and thought about how far I have come and I have blossomed like a flower emotionally, intellectually, and physically. The only thing holding me back in this stupid insomnia which I hope to get rid of this week after I visit my doctor tomorrow. If I was able to sleep good things would be amazing.
Later I am going to write about what I was thinking today... How the world and people in it are like beautiful ink blots. Like those Rorschach pictures, but ever changing and morphing.
Tomorrow shall be a good day. I will be chilling with the love of my life, the one and only Little Miss after she gets off of work. I am excited. Even though I saw her yesterday I miss her lol.
Wow... I just got a text from her. All I will say is that she is cute, funny, and one hell of a smart ass... I love her. But to hell with her coffee!