anything for a few more hours...

[E-girl]

i dont want to be on this page so many times, but this is something I NEED to post right now. i'm having a nervous breakdown.
-----------------------------------------------
just a couple more hours
that's all i need
two more pills
should get me through
feel it start to speed up my heart
but my eyes say
Sleepy
and its hard to sit here at this keyboard
What was the topic again?
10 more pages to write
did i double-space?
fuck. what was the topic
one more pill.
i havent read the chapter yet.
all this pressure.
getting beeped by my job.
2:02 am. what? network's down
who the fuck cares
everyone wants something.
need a break.
soo tired.
what day is tomorrow?
cant remember everything i have to do
no one to cover my shift
just need a little nap...
one more pill
i'd give anything for a few more hours...
chest hurts.
hard to breath.
cantdoitanymorecantdoitanymore
everybody needs me to do something
what about me
when am i supposed to just stop and...
breath?
cant breath.
3:33 a.m.
nothing done yet.
spent all this time worrying
just want to sleep.
cant do it anymore.
cant pretend.
i just cant do it.
leave me alone.
you dont know what its like!
i just want to break something!
want to scream!
i cant do it all
leave me be
no more
hate the pills
hate the not sleeping
hate working and working and working
hate doing everything for everyone
i just want to
breath.
just want to
sleep.
sleep.
SLEEP.
so tired...

 

[Dagny]

Sleep is such an attractive place of not remembering... I use it as an escape now and then also. I also know the times in the middle of the night when you stop caring what you NEED to do and start missing what you WANT to do, and there seems to be no balance in between, no place to find peace without running as far away as your mind can take you.
Do something for me next time you get a chance... read some Walt Whitman. Let him remind you of what silence can be, and how important it is to chase it now and then. I love you baby girl, and if you close your eyes real tight, you just might feel me kissing you on the forehead and hearing me say "Baby it's gonna be okay."

 

[roarkisdead]

love this piece... i feel your pain. deadlines such. the build up is perfect for expressing how you feel as time slips by and the morning comes. hope ya got it all done.

 

[plazma]

Very nice work. I know the tension very very well.
Take Care.
-plaz out-