opiate withdrawal=cakewalk by comparison
Opiate withdrawal is a fucking vacation compared to heavy, long term abuse benzo withdrawal. Its also extremely dangerous if you quit cold turkey without tapering down.
I never even had a clue as to the dangers of benzo withdrawal. I don't even think I knew that I was addicted so severely.
I definately learned this shit the hard way, as soon as I attempted to kick my massive opiate and benzo addiction simultaneously, and to it off, cold turkey...
Massive mistake. This was complete hell on earth and I felt as my body was being ripped apart nerve by nerve with no way to escape. I had to constantly try to climb out of my skin and body for relief that never manifested itself. There was not a single fucking moment of peace...and sleep, or even the concept thereof, was such an impossibility that I would eventually lie awake for weeks at a time without a visit from the sandman.
These nights were filled with terrifying realistic auditory and visual hallucinations. I was basically stuck in between this nightmarish dream land and the thought process and ritual of actually drifting off to sleep. PI had turned into what was a fucking shell of my former self, and had found my only sanctuary, in the complete darkness of my bedroom upstairs. This is how I tried to cope with my situation as best I could. Of course this wouldn't last, therefore every time that I was forced out of my cave to venture into the light and sound of the outside world, I would be panicked and restless, on edge...almost manic, then forced into extreme vertigo that I couldn't control. I would get stuck in a vortex within my field of vision that I could not escape. It was like a fighter pilot experiencing full G-lock during an intense dog fight. These bouts of vertigo left me nauseated, sweaty and short on breath. This is what led me outdoors and down the driveway, then eventually into a massive seizures 3 times within a 2 week period.
I can remember that 2 of these episodes, both in which happened without warning, and completely out of nowhere, unfolded right at the bottom of my driveway, in the street, and at the peak busiest time of day for neighborhood traffic, and being that these were both beautiful and warm summer days, the neighborhood was in full swing, and of course ready for some entertainment. I definately delivered, and at a safe distance they gathered and stood, watching in horror and amazement the entire time.
When I came to, I'd usually come to standing up in the street or driveway, in complete confusion as to how I'd arrived there, covered in bloody cuts, grass and dirt. In the midst of the confusion I'd be loudly arguing with my wife as she pleaded with me to sit or lay down.
PThen I'd notice the tears that flowed from her eyes, rolling down her cheeks, coupled with the panic in her face and fear in her voice as she struggled to gasp for breaths to form the words to beg me to lay down and be still...this is the sad scene that always unmistakably brought me from my confused state and into the realization that something bad had just occurred, and whatever it was, I was helpless and without any ability to control it.
I had written a pretty detailed response to a thread with a benzo question on here somewhere that goes a bit deeper into my hellish experience in the ambulance rides and with the emergency room visits in the hospital but I can't find at the moment. K
In all honesty, it was definately around a year before I settled down and got comfortable in my skin again. Definately an intensely dark period of time who's memory has stuck with me, and became seared into the back of my mind so vividly, that honestly I've never abused benzos since, nor had the desire to, strictly out of fear and fear alone...brought on by recollections of pain and suffering that I was forced to endure for almost a year total.
Congratulations to anyone who obtains the strength to face and destroy this succubus type demon.
Opiate withdrawal is a fucking vacation compared to heavy, long term abuse benzo withdrawal. Its also extremely dangerous if you quit cold turkey without tapering down.
I never even had a clue as to the dangers of benzo withdrawal. I don't even think I knew that I was addicted so severely.
I definately learned this shit the hard way, as soon as I attempted to kick my massive opiate and benzo addiction simultaneously, and to it off, cold turkey...
Massive mistake. This was complete hell on earth and I felt as my body was being ripped apart nerve by nerve with no way to escape. I had to constantly try to climb out of my skin and body for relief that never manifested itself. There was not a single fucking moment of peace...and sleep, or even the concept thereof, was such an impossibility that I would eventually lie awake for weeks at a time without a visit from the sandman.
These nights were filled with terrifying realistic auditory and visual hallucinations. I was basically stuck in between this nightmarish dream land and the thought process and ritual of actually drifting off to sleep. PI had turned into what was a fucking shell of my former self, and had found my only sanctuary, in the complete darkness of my bedroom upstairs. This is how I tried to cope with my situation as best I could. Of course this wouldn't last, therefore every time that I was forced out of my cave to venture into the light and sound of the outside world, I would be panicked and restless, on edge...almost manic, then forced into extreme vertigo that I couldn't control. I would get stuck in a vortex within my field of vision that I could not escape. It was like a fighter pilot experiencing full G-lock during an intense dog fight. These bouts of vertigo left me nauseated, sweaty and short on breath. This is what led me outdoors and down the driveway, then eventually into a massive seizures 3 times within a 2 week period.
I can remember that 2 of these episodes, both in which happened without warning, and completely out of nowhere, unfolded right at the bottom of my driveway, in the street, and at the peak busiest time of day for neighborhood traffic, and being that these were both beautiful and warm summer days, the neighborhood was in full swing, and of course ready for some entertainment. I definately delivered, and at a safe distance they gathered and stood, watching in horror and amazement the entire time.
When I came to, I'd usually come to standing up in the street or driveway, in complete confusion as to how I'd arrived there, covered in bloody cuts, grass and dirt. In the midst of the confusion I'd be loudly arguing with my wife as she pleaded with me to sit or lay down.
PThen I'd notice the tears that flowed from her eyes, rolling down her cheeks, coupled with the panic in her face and fear in her voice as she struggled to gasp for breaths to form the words to beg me to lay down and be still...this is the sad scene that always unmistakably brought me from my confused state and into the realization that something bad had just occurred, and whatever it was, I was helpless and without any ability to control it.
I had written a pretty detailed response to a thread with a benzo question on here somewhere that goes a bit deeper into my hellish experience in the ambulance rides and with the emergency room visits in the hospital but I can't find at the moment. K
In all honesty, it was definately around a year before I settled down and got comfortable in my skin again. Definately an intensely dark period of time who's memory has stuck with me, and became seared into the back of my mind so vividly, that honestly I've never abused benzos since, nor had the desire to, strictly out of fear and fear alone...brought on by recollections of pain and suffering that I was forced to endure for almost a year total.
Congratulations to anyone who obtains the strength to face and destroy this succubus type demon.
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