Thanks for the replies. I might be on a wild goose chase but have reason to suspect I may have been shaken as a young child. I changed completely at the age of four, went from being a bright, smiling, happy child to a severely withdrawn and disengaged child overnight. Mum always associated it with me having drank a bottle of Panadol cough syrup but I suspect it was something more sinister, certainly there is no reason why a shit load of paracetamol would have that effect on a child. I can remember my Dad almost crying as he confessed that he shook my brother and that might have explained his issues during high school - in retrospect I suspect he may have been talking about me but couldn't bring himself to say it.
I dunno. It's a hunch.
I want to undertake is something like this:
http://neurotreatment.com.au/services/neuropsychological-assessment-service.aspx
http://synapse.org.au/get-the-facts/neuropsychological-assessments-fact-sheet.aspx
If I did have some underlying neuropsychological problem it would go a loooong way towards explaining why I am the way I am - high functioning when it comes to cognitive processes, my family are all the same except functional (one brother is a partner at a law firm, the other runs a couple of businesses that he built from scratch), I have always suffered from extreme mood and behavioural problems. I have carried an incessant suicide ideation since about he age of 10, I can distinctly remember trying to summon the courage to throw myself in front of trucks on the main road near my house but never having the balls to pull it off. Pretty much my whole life I have had thoughts that I should just die, it's pretty much a default position whenever I get stressed. My behavioural problems and excessively depressive vibe mean that I'm pretty sure I'll be single for the rest of my life, the longest fling I've had lasted three months, due to my toxic personality. I can't function in the workplace, longest I've held down a job is 6 months (I'm 33 years old ffs), if I can't get some kind of diagnosis and support benefits then I can't see much future for myself.
Sorry, this is all TDS material, I already have a discussion running over there and just wanted to sound HL out to get a wider variety of opinion and/or advice. But, yeah, really want to keep this thread about the potential for ABI in young children rather than a "poor me" sap fest
FWIW I've spoken to a neuropsychological assessment centre. After I spoke with one outfit and explained my history, the nurse was adamant that I needed an assessment but they charged $1250 with no medicare rebates. Then I contacted another outfit, after a few questions they told me not only that I needed the assessment but that I qualified for full government subsidies, the only catch is a six month waiting list. Finally, I might be a step closer to figuring out whey I am so fucked up. They tend to think I have either a developmental neurological disorder or I have acquired a brain injury at some point in my life, either way I'm one step closer to answering why I am so fucked up with the EQ of a five year old. Although, my brother's partner (they are housing me temporarily atm) suggested that I might be bipolar, she pointed out aspects of my behaviour that I had never seen from her perspective and made a pretty convincing case. I guess I'll find out soon enough, the intake nurse told me that because of my high risk of homelessness that I may be able get triaged a lot quicker than the 6 month waiting list.
Such a fucking relief.