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TDS Anyone else scared of change?

K

Kieko

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 22, 2013
Messages
69
Location
Alabama
I've been a waitress/bartender for twenty years now, and I love it, but I've been offered an unbelievable position as head of Internet sales at a ford dealership. I've worked service before, and hated it, but have no idea of what's going to be expected of me. I figure if I can sell you a beer and a burger than I can sell you a car...
But damn I'm scared. I start Wends, and am still going to waitress on the weekends, but I'm way out of my comfort zone.

Why are we so hard on ourselves? Most addicts carry a lot of the same traits, low self esteem, depression, etc.
But why are we so scared of change? Like most of us want to get clean but the fear of the unknown stops us.
We'd rather be miserable than fail?

I KNOW I can do this, but I'm so scared that I'm going to make a mistake and look stupid that I'm actually dreading Wendsday.

Anyone else making a big change in your life? Or have you recently and how'd you get through the mind fucks?
 
I think its best to work through fear with thought.. and yeah it pretty natural that people are scared of change.. lets here everything you are afraid of and lets see if there is anything to be afraid of?

EVERYBODY fails at EVERYTHING until they succeed;)

Everybody makes mistakes doing something new.. your only human so if you quit holding yourself to the standards of a GOD then you will fell allot more comfortable..

If you take everything in life so seriously life becomes a serious burden.. flip your thinking around.. yeah your going to make a few mistakes and yeah for a little while your not going to know what the fuck is going on, but this is totally normal and they understand this, thats what on the job training is, and you will pick it up quick like you always do.. so just go in and DON'T BE AfRAID to ask questions and ask for help and not asking a question because you think you should somehow already know how to do a job you have never done is crazy..

Your going to make a few blunders but you will do great.. congratulations=D
 
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I don't like change and duress. I think it's pretty natural. When I did work I always hated changing jobs. Try not to worry too much... At worst it doesn't work out and you go back to being a bartender full time.
 
i love change and i hope that when i become an old fart i dont stop embracing change

change is a pretty fundamental aspect of our lives each second our body disappates and reassembles 1000 0's after 1 (something ridiculous like that), each smallest part of our body is flickering like a flame or bubble, everything appears to have connection and solidity but that is just because we are unable to see the truest subtleties of our universe

i try to do things in my life which will create large shifts in the way i have to think and act and that helps me to see different perspectives of myself and grow as a person, and even things like re-arranging the furniture in my room is exhilarating

change can cause pain and suffering but ive always figured that if we learn coping skills to deal with pain and suffering then we are better off than having not gone through that journey at an early stage
 
@^ i love that, simple and completely to the point

ima have a field day on his wiki page
 
Changes are difficult for me. I guess because it requires stepping away from my comfort zone. If it's not absolutely necessary, I will find a way to get around it. But really if you don't get out there and try, you remain in the same place, never knowing what might have been. So I would be a bit intimidated going to a dealership, not being used to that environment. Give it a go and Good Luck with your new job! <3
 
Wow thanks for all the kind words guys...
Everyone is so supportive here.

It's stupid really, I'm most scared that nobody will like me or that I'll do something stupid or say something shocking...
I've been a honky tonk bartender for a long time, and am pretty crass. Everyone that knows me accepts this, and likes me for it.
I don't know how to act around woman that wear panties and cross their legs. :)

It'll all work out tho...again, thanks for the support.
 
Keiko, I know exactly what you are talking about. Those inner anxious voices have plagued me my whole life and I am almost 60. I am currently confronting them in a huge (and intentional) way myself and they have been brutal. Iam traveling by myself in South America but I got a lot of support from people when I talked about what I was going through on facebook. Here are some of my favorites:

"when something is too easy we are bored and become complacent. When it is too difficult we are overwhelmed and shut down. It is when we are at the edge of our comfort zone that we get the most out of our new experiences and learnings. And once we do settle down there, we have grown."

"Anytime we push beyond the familiar we encounter fear. It might help to tell fear that we are going to be just fine. then it can settle down.";)

good luck. I think you are going to love it!
 
It sounds nice and exciting to me. Change rules. I have usually enjoyed it in the past and I'm definitely looking forward to lots of change from this moment on into the distant future.

I'm feeling nice and ambitious lately.
 
Terrified of change. I've fought this fight my whole life. Do not tell me what to do! I will not quit for anyone! Period. But I really felt that I saw this was all a huge story I made up for my self to justify my decisions, and it's not going to be as hard as I think. I know people and I'm like - if that guy can do, how am I still in this mess all these years later and they are out of it. I cried all last night thinking about how I'm going to change. how I don't want to. Why everyone in my life wants me to change. That's my veins are tired. That I'm tired of poking them for hours on end as the blood runs dry. I hate looking at my hands and knowing that I'm going to have to deal with this stigma for the rest of my life, those scars aren't healing. But in a way I think that makes me stronger, because I'll have to deal with a terrible stereotype for the rest of my life, and face people and work and family any. But hopefully at some point in time, I'll be able to hold my head up high and say I'm an ex-junkie. I can't feel as confident now knowing that I can't wait to get away from people and jab that needle filled with any, give me anything, but always with heroin at the end of the day.

I came face to face with an H dealer this weekend, right after i stopped. We resistance. I cried. It was hard. But I was with my boyfriend who I love. The music was awesome, the acid was great. The company was perfect. (thank God I had Suboxone!) and then all of the sudden.... it didn't seem hard at all! It was easy and I wanted to punch that guy in the face for making me almost cave. But I didn't and I was proud. Am proud.

I don't know where I want this to go. I'm a junkie. I see junk in my life forever. But that's what everyone thinks, before they realize it is possible. And not only possible. Enjoyable. I saw a little bit of that enjoyment for the first time in years this week. And it opened my heart so much. I was already thinking about bailing on this quitting thing again. But I'm going to stick it out for now. One day at a time. Even though I'm terrified of change.
 
aww, Elke, hang tight. It sounds like that glimpse you got was exactly what you needed to see. the hard times are our best teachers if we will listen. <3
 
herbavore said:
aww, Elke, hang tight. It sounds like that glimpse you got was exactly what you needed to see. the hard times are our best teachers if we will listen. <3
Click to expand...

Thank you :) I've just been so emotional since Friday, in a good way. And I know that has to do with the junk not being in me. I always looked at Suboxone like something to get me through the sickness while I was forced to get sober for a couple of days for some reason. But I really wanted to give this weekend some respect and wanted to cut out the junk, I thought at first for only a couple of days, but then it showed me this wonderful vision of what life can be. And I'm kinda scared I'll loose that again, but I don't want too. I'm going to try to remember it as long as possible.
 
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