Bupe Anyone else like me? (bupe)

[Rogg If]

Hi everyone,

I'm new to Bluelight and to be honest I was a bit confused about how to start a new thread & it seemed the only place I could do it was on here - please let me know if I'm doing wrong.
I keep seeing everywhere that bupe is considered either a lifesaver by recovering addicts, or a shite drug by most opiate addicts.

Which is why it's pretty hard for me to get help cos no one seems to feel the same about it. I started doing opiates when I was 18 (my first experience was with subutex, and I found it incredible & felt I'd found the solution to all my problems - second exp was with very good skag which I found great too but for some reason I thought bupe was much better cos it felt more "real" and lasted so long).

I kept doing all sorts of opiates on and off, you know what it's like, for about year, not really getting a habit but definitely on my way there. I did loads of smack for a month or two and didn't really get hooked on it, then got on painkillers, still snorting subs every now and then.

In the end, I just stuck to bupe cos it made me feel so great - while other opiates were just making me nod & too short lasting - and thought I couldn't get addicted. Everytime I'd use it the highs were absolutely fantastic and my daily life turned into a fairytale.

Right, I'm 23 now and been addicted to the stuff ever since, tried to quit a few times but failed everytime. I've had bits with morphine and smack and methadone but always went back to my first love. I found many ways to enhance it since my tolerance went through the roof & I still enjoy it, even though it's (obviously) not as good as it used to be.

I've been on a reduction programme for a year now and I'm down to 1.6mg daily but can't stop snorting it or buying some more on the street. I'm expected to get off bupe definitively in a few weeks and I'm scared shitless. I've also been taking benzos everyday for a year, although never huge doses. I should also mention that I was an alcoholic since I was 14 and managed to get off the booze round 21 - I did have quite a few relapses since.

Now what I'd like to understand, is why everyone hates it but I, despite all those years taking it, still do get high off it. And when I say "high" I mean euphoria, energy, talking shit for ages, creativity, itch, cleaning spree, pinned pupils, yes, a true opiate high. How can that be? Is there anyone else like me? I do know two people who are just the same but haven't seen them in ages.

It would just really help me to know of someone else in the same situation, or even better, someone who's kicked the habit. I can't imagine life without it, I'll probably kill myself if I don't have bupe to get me through the day. But I'm sick of being a fucking slave to it.

One last thing, nowadays it doesn't last as long as it should and used to (24 hours), the effects wear off after about 8 hours and I start feeling like shit.
Here, I'm finished. Please don't waste your time or mine taking the piss out of me or writing shit like "bupe's crap", I'm looking for help and understanding. Thanks.

 

[manboychef]

Welcome to bluelight. I too am on subutex. It has saved my life. I have only ever noticed any sort of high from it once...and that was when I was in acute withdrawal.

If I were in your shoes (kinda am) I would look into the sober living and darkside forums. There is an addiction guide that is incredibly enlightening.

 

[Rogg If]

Thanks for your reply. I just really don't understand why it works so well for me and no one else! Surely there must be other people like me?
Also, I'd sometimes spend say a week using smack and then have a sniff of bupe right after my last chase (an hour or so) and never got any sort of precipitated withdrawals! Or sometimes I'll take loads of bupe and a coupla hours later take skag or something & it never ever blocks it! It actually makes the high even stronger. I really don't get it. Can someone explain? Is there something different in my body or something?

 

[babakayaba]

I am in the same boat as you subs used to be my DOC after H, now im prescribed them. You're lucky you still get high because even when i take 16 mg i barely feel anything. No euphoria, No nod, just make me normal. I've tried every ROA and no luck. I wish I could get high again lol.

 

[Rogg If]

Thanks man. So, do you mean you too used to get high off them? I mean proper opiate high? The stuff used to make me feel absolutely invincible, I could go through 14hours work shifts no problem and still go out right after, all the while feeling like I'd won 2 World Wars and didn't even care that much. It still works but it's not as intense - I've been taking it for about 5 years now.
Mate the thing with subs is that increasing doses doesn't make the high better. It's very strong stuff so after a certain amount your receptors are literally just saturated.
If you want it to work, you gotta use 4mg max at a time, up to that amount it sorta works like a full agonist. I usually snort tiny amounts like 2mg (There's one particular brand that I really like, I dunno why but it DOES feel different from the other sub brands (they make big round 8mgs and small 2mgs, do you know those?)) or just a bit more but taking more than 4 will do nothing for you.
When I want to get real nice, I take 100mg cyclizine prior to it and then a few vallies, then shove 4mg 'tex up my nose. In alcohol-relapse days, I wash it all down with like 5 shots of gin. I know it's really risky (DONT DO THAT IF YOU HAVE NO TOLERANCE TO BENZOS AND OPIATES, I KNOW TWO PEOPLE WHO DIED FROM THAT MIX AND MY BEST FRIEND OD'D AND ENDED UP IN HOSPITAL BUT WAS LUCKY ENOUGH TO SURVIVE) but I know my limits and never take more than I know will do me fine.
Same here I took it sublingually, snorted it, banged it up, plugged it - but my favourite remains hoovering it up. Only do intra muscular's if you like needles, I've a mate whose veins on his arms and legs are completely fucked from blasting his Texies. IMing subs feels pretty much the same as IV anyway. Cheers and sorry for swearing at youse, I'd just had the worst day ever.

 

[bronson]

You should be able to start a new thread in any of the forums on the site using the 'New Thread' button at the top of the forum you are currently in. The only exceptions to this are The Lounge and Blogs sections, which you must have 50 posts in order to post in. Let me know if this issue persists and I can bring it to the support section for you.

For the time being I'll move this over to OD for you.

 

[thevikingninja]

I was on suboxone, got high off of it, which is why I decided to stop cold turkey off 32mg. It wasn't doing what it was supposed to for me. Now I have 3 years heroin free.

 

[Rogg If]

Off 32mg?!!!!!!! Wow that must have been painful, even off 2mg I go through never ending pain, depression, sickness for more than 2 weeks, well done really. I don't like suboxone though, the naloxone makes me feel really weird for some reason.

 

[xxxyyy]

i'm glad i dodged that particular bullet (opioid addiction) and i've always found buprenorphine incredibly enjoyable as long as it was untainted by naloxone, which i don't respond well to at all. especially intravenously i find bupe to be every bit as euphoric as smack or morphine but i realize i'm in the minority with that.

 

[deidara]

I too am on bupe and I have mine micron filtered in vials so I always take it IV or IM. I usually do 1 or 2mg, and never more than 4 like the OP said. For the first month I got a nice little rush every time, but now its getting harder and far between to get that feeling. Honestly I might just start taking them sublingually, its not worth fucking up my veins if I can't get high anymore

 

[Jabberwocky]

Well bupe is not crap in any sense whatsoever. I was on subutex for 6 months, but I am currently taking a break from it to give my brain a chance to recover slightly (as there is no period while on subs that your brain has a chance to "repair", from what I've read due to its special nature).

As I've been taking oxy and hydromorphone for the past week I can definately now say that it does have a profound effect in terms of euphoria and happy feelings. I actually crave bupe from time to time, because I miss it's huge half life and time span. 2mg would have me fixed and done until I redosed the next day, and I could redose anytime that pleased me. I just started to not become aware of the profound effects that it was having on me as I became used to them.

I am going back on bupe when my supply runs out, which will probably be in the next couple of weeks or so. It definately has some kind of anti-depressant property to it that I overlooked.

However, while it may be hard to come off it, I believe that if you have the willpower and intention to do so then you can. It seems like at the moment that you are not in the right frame of mind to come off the bupe, so why do it now? You have to be motivated and self confident that you can come off it and stay clean - otherwise it won't go well

There are however a host of problems with long term bupe therapy, and I do personally think that it can cause irreversible damage to the opioid receptors in your brain along with other things.

Have you ever tried SSRI's? Perhaps a short term course of them (3-6months) would help after you have stopped the bupe.

 

[Rogg If]

It's good to see that I'm not the only one to feel that. What I mean is that subutex is so intense on an emotional level, much more than other opiates IMO. It feels so real, too real. After a while it just takes over you, I'm worried I've lost my true self since I have constantly (meaning every single day, more than once a day) been on it for like a year and a half, so I have never truly come down and I'm terrified of what it's going to be like.
I'm just back from an appointment with a doctor at the addiction help centre I go to, and we discussed what to do next, whether I want the reduction to be continued, or at a slower pace, or leave it where it is for a while for my body to adjust. I told her that I wanted to get off it ASAP, but that at the same time I was really scared how I'm gonna deal with life and my problems, scared to hit the booze or benzos or both like fuck, or start use other stuff.
Synthetix, I thought about the SSRI's and it turns out the doc suggested that I start using some specific ones, cos apparently I suffer from serious depression, anxiety, lack of energy - I'd always self-medicated with booze or drugs since I was 16 so I have no idea what adult life is like without chemical crutches, so I'll probably use SSRI's.

 

[Rogg If]

I too am on bupe and I have mine micron filtered in vials so I always take it IV or IM. I usually do 1 or 2mg, and never more than 4 like the OP said. For the first month I got a nice little rush every time, but now its getting harder and far between to get that feeling. Honestly I might just start taking them sublingually, its not worth fucking up my veins if I can't get high anymore

That's wise mate. IVing your texies is super bad (hold on, do you use suboxone or subutex?), IMing all the way, if you're into needles. I personally don't like using syringes but a friend of mine always only did IM's with bupe and was fine (he did it fuckloads of times).
As for the feeling, try reducing your doses slightly, or spend a few days using a little less than usual then back to normal, you'll see. Or try going one day without it (I am unable to do that without being awfully depressed & in a great deal of pain through all my body) and then use, it'll feel fucking great.

 

[Rogg If]

i'm glad i dodged that particular bullet (opioid addiction) and i've always found buprenorphine incredibly enjoyable as long as it was untainted by naloxone, which i don't respond well to at all. especially intravenously i find bupe to be every bit as euphoric as smack or morphine but i realize i'm in the minority with that.

Are you not an opiate addict xxxyyy? I'm just surprised, cos you mentioned IVing bupe and said you're glad you didn't get into opioid addiction - and I've just never met any "casual" IV users, all the people I know (quite a lot) that shoot up are heavily addicted.

 

[milagro]

i'm glad i dodged that particular bullet (opioid addiction) and i've always found buprenorphine incredibly enjoyable as long as it was untainted by naloxone, which i don't respond well to at all. especially intravenously i find bupe to be every bit as euphoric as smack or morphine but i realize i'm in the minority with that.

Just to clarify-

Buprenorphine is a semi-synthetic opioid. It is also has anti-depressant qualities that might be why you felt so good when taking it. http://www.naabt.org/newsletter/feb2007/. I just supplied one of many links that indicate the ability of buprenorphine to work with certain populations as something it might be marketed for other than its current marketing in the U.S. In the US it is still widely prescribed as a psycho-therapeutic medication for treating opiate dependence.

I have been on and off opioids for many years as a chronic pain patient and noticed that when I took subutex (for chronic pain), I had a feeling of "hey I feel pretty good, maybe I'll have some coffee and get some shit done", as opposed to lying around in a opiate induced haze thinking of how good the stupid program was on the telly.

You are very lucky to have seemingly escaped the full blown opiate addiction but you are activating the same receptors , mu-receptors Delta, Kappa , Omega, Upsilon, he he, that opioids do when taking bupe. I now have have a question that I might begin a dead thread regarding bupe and breakthrough pain. Buts that's not your kettle is it? You use it recreationally?

You also mention that the amount your taking isn't giving you the same amount of pleasurable feeling at the same duration of time it used to. That is tolerance and you can tell me I "am taking the piss out of you" all you want but it is an inevitable result of "The capacity of the body to endure or become less responsive to a substance (as a drug) with repeated use or exposure i.e; developing a tolerance to painkillers, antibiotics, etc.” .

Yeah, I have had the exact feeling you get from bupe. It is a med that was discovered many years ago and is suddenly finding its way into many different fields of medicine. I am on it again and did feel great until the intense pain came back and I have a doc that just says "take more and you'll be right". Hell with that! I took more bupe as he directed and it didn’t do a damn thing. Give me a full agonist any day for acute pain.

Maybe Buprenophine should be marketed as a med that has more qualities than it has currently been allocated in the grand ole USA. Oops, big pharma might have a problem with that.

 

[Rogg If]

Milagro, yeah I know what tolerance is, I've been abusing opiates and all sorts of drugs for years if you read my first post. I don't think tolerance has anything to do with the half-life, I've been using it for a long time but it's now been nearly a year since I started to feel like it didn't last as long. For some reason I always come down real quick, from every drug I take, be it charlie, smack, molly, meph, etc, I always seem to come down way before others do - which of course is pretty bad cos I end up taking twice as much as my mates. Skag never seemed to last longer than an hour or two on me. Thats precisely why I loved bupe, cos you dont come down that quick.
Also update, I've worked real hard on trying to get prepared for a life with no bupe: I manage to spend a whole day without taking anything, no bupe no valium nothing, spend 20 hours off it, despite the cramps and the pain through all my body&feeling awful, and only have a line when I'm just about to scream or top myself. I must say I'm quite proud of myself for this. If I keep this up I'm sure there's a way out. What do ya's think? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Looking forward to be free from all dependence. (Yeah I'm buzzing right now and euphoric as fuck after a long day without my precious bupe)

 

[Rogg If]

Oh and yeah bupe defo has anti-depressant properties. But it IS addictive and I'm not sure giving an opiate to people who wouldn't otherwise take it is a great idea. Gotta be discussed I reckon.

 

[ramblin]

Only the naloxone in the suboxone will give you precipitated withdrawls. Subutex (or plain old buprenorphine without the naloxone) will not make you sick iff you take it with other opiate/opioids. But that is weird that it doesn't block the opiate high for u. Are u sure its not just all in your head?

 

[Tommyboy]

Only the naloxone in the suboxone will give you precipitated withdrawls. Subutex (or plain old buprenorphine without the naloxone) will not make you sick iff you take it with other opiate/opioids. But that is weird that it doesn't block the opiate high for u. Are u sure its not just all in your head?

This is not true. It's actually the buprenorphine that causes the precipiated withdrawals since it has a higher affinity than the naloxone. The naloxone doesn't do what the company pushing suboxone claims it does, and you will get precipiated withdrawals if you take subutex too soon after taking opiates/opioids, the same way you would get them from taking suboxone too soon after them.

 

[XThexXTank]

Subs are a lifesaver. Yeah lotta people complain how they dont like em or it gives em headaches or whatever. I find em to be real helpful an make me feel normal. Well shit only problem is i cant get fuckin high off of em