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Anyone else just get out of a relationship...?

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chrisalt

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 28, 2012
Messages
369
Misery loves company. Anyone else just get out of a bad relationship and just feel so depressed? I been with 10-15 different women... and most of the time they turn out bat shit nuts. Im not a saint mind you. there are a few i relationships i knew it was me that fucked up but even my friends agree i just have terrible luck with crazy ass women. Im 25 been this way since i was 13. im cursed and cursed in this department. I have crazy bad anxiety and all of these females except for the one i just left came my way and i just went with it..maybe i need to start not just taking what comes my way... but i just tried that?? i dunno im just so confused and fucked atm.

I just want a wife.. someone to get old with..god i sound like a bitch
 
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You don't sound like a bitch. If this relationship was no bueno, thank god it's over yeah? Better now than later?

Consider compiling a list of Non-Negotiables. Traits you look for in a woman and won't bend to accommodate.
 
Cohesion said:
You don't sound like a bitch. If this relationship was no bueno, thank god it's over yeah? Better now than later?

Consider compiling a list of Non-Negotiables. Traits you look for in a woman and won't bend to accommodate.
Click to expand...

good advice ill do that, and your right better now then in 2 years or 10.
 
yeah im your age and in the same position only im missing my kid not my ex,its a shame your not in ireland we could both go out on the pull and forget all about it
 
I hear you man they're always bad for me too. But if we were having a tough time getting out of "good" relationships, we would be kicking ourselves wouldn't we? I keep telling myself things have to get better sooner or later. :(
 
I'm attracted to the type of girl that is pretty, smart, but not emotionally stable and that usually leads to me getting cheated on.
 
Hang in there...u seem like a nice guy. If it helps i can tell u that I've found the same to be true with men!! I'm hoping that if I do find one I'll know to not let them go!! Too many bad ones makes me wonder if I even know how to spot a level headed honest one.
 
Not quite the same situation you laid out in your post, but yes, I am just out of a bad relationship. I was really happy, but the fact that I am rebuilding my life entirely from scratch (which means I have zero friends) is slowly killing me inside. I put myself out there and right now I'm just waiting to see who calls me to hang out, but I'm losing my shit here and that means pretty soon I lose my confidence with women. I need to not fucking stay home on a Friday night so... bad.

I feel you. Relationships, for the most part, suck ass. If they were so fucking great why do we have to go through so many until we finally find somebody we can just barely tolerate nesting with?
 
chrisalt, I've felt like I'm in a rut before. It really sucks when you look back and see a long string of bad relationships. Last year I graduated college and made it a point to stop focusing on the opposite sex and focusing on me. Now, I think I carry myself a different way, and I'm noticing I get a lot of attention from men lately. I know my confidence is back, and aside from my love life , I am very proud of what I've done for myself that no one else can take credit for. The type of men I'm attracting are also higher quality, and I think at this point the only way I can make some good decisions is if I do something like what Cohesion has mentioned, which is a list of non-negotiables. It will filter out probably 9/10 of the men who approach me, but I really don't want to waste my time with ones that I can't see myself with for the long-haul.

I think my point is that you really have to be happy with yourself to attract the right people, and you need to find someone who has the same interests and just not "settle" on whatever comes around. It's really hard, and I totally understand what you're talking about. The dating world is a roller coaster, and finding someone awesome out of all of the losers out there seems almost impossible. But, I've dated some really awesome guys who I don't regret at all even though we aren't together. For me, I try to take away a lesson from each person I date after the anger subsides and I am no longer hurt by the breakup. I'd have to say each guy has taught me something about myself. If you are dating 10 girls who are all wrong for you, I think you should kinda look into the situation and see how you can improve yourself.
 
At this point I have totally given up on being in a relationship. It seems as though my fate has been set for me due to a lifetime of bad decisions and wayward thinking. Time I could have spent growing myself and fostering a relationship instead of playing the schoolyard bully or trying way too hard to be someone I am not. Dating in my 40's is not something that is on my to-do list.
 
Can't say I'm in the same situation as you BUT I can try to give some advice anyway!
Where do you usually "look" for girls? Where do you meet this girls that you start dating? Seems like you need to try something different! Do you usually meet girls at clubs or something? Maybe that's just not the right place. Do you usually meet them through friends? Maybe you need to meet them through a different group of friends. I don't know if you're in college or something, but that's a good way to meet different girls. As well, joining a sports team or a club (not necessarily at a college ... I know there are tons at community centres and other things ... it depends on your interests) can help as well.
You're only 25. I can definitely understand wanting to find someone to "settle down with" soon. But you're still young and have lots of time. I have plenty of friends your age and older who are still single. Male and female! There are lots of them out there, but it seems like you're just looking in the wrong places!

Cohesion had good advice about making a list of "non negotiables". It can be REALLY helpful. Or at least have some sort of mental list. And make sure you seriously think about dating someone who has one of the "warning" traits!
 
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