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Anyone else have Sexual performance anxiety?

citizen cained

citizen cained

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Sep 25, 2010
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Hey all,

I have never actually been diagnosed with SPA but pretty sure I have it, when I have sex with someone new for the first time I just can't perform, I get all nervous and cannot get it up (no matter how much I want to) this happens both when sober and when drunk (it is worse when sober as alcohol helps with the nerves but not the erection problem).

This all makes me so upset that eventually when I get hard all I want to do is finish so it will be over lol

Once I am comfortable with someone (2nd-3rd time fucking them) I am fine and have been told that I am "actually amazing in bed" once I get over it all.

I just don't know what causes it.. :(

Anyone else get this?

and can anyone recommend anything to help.
 
I think that’s pretty normal for many people. I doubt you have some sort of serious issue or complex.

If it’s only affecting your first few times with a new person and you redeem yourself later by being “amazing” then what’s the problem? It doesn't seem like there is one really.
 
It's sort of anxiety mixed with confidence except you can't do anything about it during the moment to prevent it (can before or a lil after) .

practice and Citrulline could help (be careful ...it's a supp and legal but it helps blood flow sooo...) also work on relaxing and being confident (or more confident ..) until it stops ?

There's tons of things but I just think those can help from what I've heard from them anyway ....I'm sorta in a rush sorry
 
Dude. Do not worry.

I pretty much refuse to get into bed with any chick (now that I'm sober from Heroin + Meth) without getting to know her first.
As it turns out, all the drugs i was doing was suppressing my already existing need for emotional connection before even considering sex.
I mean, in retrospect I feel like kind of a piece of shit, even though I was very numb to the world, and it was not intentional.
SO yeah. I won't get it up because I am not interested, and honestly it has bled over into performance anxiety before, while still fucked up
and not really wanting to be anywhere near the girl to begin with.

If this is happening with someone you actually like, and you feel comfortable enough to talk to her, tell her you need help.
Believe me, you'll be happy you did, and she may just be like all about it.
 
If you can get to know someone first, you probably haven't got any trouble. But if you want to have casual hookups, then I would suggest something like Cialis. Ask your doctor for it.
 
After years of use no anxiety whatsoever . At times if we've done too much I feel anxious for guys just need more help to come.
 
Yes. I never had it in high school, but after getting out of a 7 year relationship I have had the worst performance anxiety. Anytime I hook up with my X there is no problems, however, I have tried to hook up with 6, count it 6 DIMES... And I can't get it hard. It is the most embarrassing thing trying to explain baby it's not you. :(
 
I don't really know what that is.

I have panic attacks all the time tho. There's no one cause.

I've also fallen asleep with someone on top once and they left.
 
Oh also have you seen the that 70s show episode where kelso can't get a boner except with jackie and then fez has a gay nursing spongebath dream?

He realizes that love is important.
 
Breathe said:
Dude. Do not worry.

I pretty much refuse to get into bed with any chick (now that I'm sober from Heroin + Meth) without getting to know her first.
As it turns out, all the drugs i was doing was suppressing my already existing need for emotional connection before even considering sex.
I mean, in retrospect I feel like kind of a piece of shit, even though I was very numb to the world, and it was not intentional.
SO yeah. I won't get it up because I am not interested, and honestly it has bled over into performance anxiety before, while still fucked up
and not really wanting to be anywhere near the girl to begin with.

If this is happening with someone you actually like, and you feel comfortable enough to talk to her, tell her you need help.
Believe me, you'll be happy you did, and she may just be like all about it.
Click to expand...


I think it is the emotional connection thing, I see sex as an emotional connection and not as a way of getting my dick wet (like some guys) therefore if I am having casual sex then I think I am almost subconsciously not into it so can't get it up.

I wrote the original post after casual sex with someone I had met only hours before (at a friends party) and had the above problem, I also had this problem with my ex when we first got together but although I knew her fairly well, it was the first time we met properly in person (and our feelings about each other were still hidden).

Weirdly when I lost my virginity I had no problem at all although I was in a committed relationship with the girl first, this makes me even more sure about the emotional connection thing.

I think I need to get to know the girl a lot better before jumping into bed with her. Hopefully that will solve this problem.

Just looks like that one night stands are not for me..

Thanks again for all your help BL
 
Well bro, I think there is some complications with you regarding sex. You should concern with a doctor, he will provide you the best solution. So, don't worry bro. Most of the folks have faced the same issue and they got relaxed after taking the doctor help. So, go ahead and enjoy the sexual life.
 
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