Mista3Mystery
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Dec 4, 2008
- Messages
- 8
I took far too much MDMA with my ex-gf one night, a few years ago. I think over the span of the evening I mixed about 7 or 8 large capsules of "MDMA" powder into juice and shared it with my girlfriend of the time. I probably had about 2/3 or 3/4 of it to myself. If I had to estimate based on the subjective feeling and what I was told by the person who sold it to me about its potency, I'd say each capsule had about twice as much as you'd find in a regular pressed pill. I was on a high dose of antidepressants at the time which massively dampened the effects of it (and probably protected my brain from the disgusting irresponsibility of my actions) but it was still a very potent hit to my brain.
Everything I did that night, the music I listened to, the experiences I shared with my girlfriend, the video games I tried to play, the horrifying aftermath of negative effects, including the gut wrenching dysphoria, obsessing over her clenching her jaws so hard it looked like she was going to break her teeth, lying on the couch being stuck in this bizarre mental loop of half-consciousness (I would be on the brink of falling asleep and then feel something slowly come down my spine and force me to kick my leg out, waking me and restarting the cycle)...
Anyway suffice it to say it was a bit of a nightmare and the whole thing is tainted with this awful emotional significance that brings me to tears when I think about it, and to this day I've been unable to shake that feeling. When I think about taking MDMA I get a brief hint of excitement followed by a rush of dysphoric anxiety as the memories come flooding back. I've had other bad experiences, but this was by far the worst and last time I ever took the drug. I feel embarrassed talking about this with other people, and I think I've mentioned it to maybe 2 people at most in very vague detail. Once I started talking to an old best friend of mine about it but had to stop myself before I got to the part about how the evening ended.
Has anyone else had such a massively bad experience that stuck with them?
Everything I did that night, the music I listened to, the experiences I shared with my girlfriend, the video games I tried to play, the horrifying aftermath of negative effects, including the gut wrenching dysphoria, obsessing over her clenching her jaws so hard it looked like she was going to break her teeth, lying on the couch being stuck in this bizarre mental loop of half-consciousness (I would be on the brink of falling asleep and then feel something slowly come down my spine and force me to kick my leg out, waking me and restarting the cycle)...
Anyway suffice it to say it was a bit of a nightmare and the whole thing is tainted with this awful emotional significance that brings me to tears when I think about it, and to this day I've been unable to shake that feeling. When I think about taking MDMA I get a brief hint of excitement followed by a rush of dysphoric anxiety as the memories come flooding back. I've had other bad experiences, but this was by far the worst and last time I ever took the drug. I feel embarrassed talking about this with other people, and I think I've mentioned it to maybe 2 people at most in very vague detail. Once I started talking to an old best friend of mine about it but had to stop myself before I got to the part about how the evening ended.
Has anyone else had such a massively bad experience that stuck with them?
