Anybody suffer mental complications due to drug use?

[mogwais]

So for about two years I did a drug every single day. Usually in high doses. It wasn't a safe drug by most means and I'm not proud of it. So much so that I'm tempted to not even say what the drug was.

Anyway... Since my trials with said substance, I just haven't been the same. I've developed social anxiety, hypochondria on a pretty high scale, other anxieties.. and perhaps a very mild case of psychosis. I haven't consulted any doctors or therapists concerning my drug use because it's sort of embarrassing. I probably never will either.

But that's what it is I guess. I had a shit load of fun on the drug in question so I can't say I got nothing out of the ride haha. I feel really bad because I feel like my mind might be fucked up for the rest of my life.. I even feel that things will progressively get worse and someday I might suffer from full blown psychosis. Fuck it though, I guess I gotta wait and see. Depression has also been an issue. I mean, I always have had a mild bit of depression here and there.. but not like this. Now it's to the point where I can be going about my day and randomly start wondering what if I died? What would it actually be like? Would it be a good thing or a bad thing for me? But I'm never ever going to act on such thoughts. Never gonna hurt myself or anybody else. Though I've always had occasionally suicidal thoughts, I never worried because I feel it's 100% natural and we all have it on our mind at some point or another.. But it gets to be an every day thing with me and that does bother me

Just getting that off my chest though. It's fucking stressful because I dunno if it was the drug or if these problems were sorta dormant all along and I just brought them out easier or what. For a while I thought I was on my way to developing schizophrenia but I'm starting to think maybe not.


Anyway.. have any of you ever suffered from mental issues because of your drug use? How long did it last? Did you take any actions to stop the problems (aside from quitting the drug) and did they help at all? I stopped and have been sober from that drug for over a year now and I still feel "off"

 

[highhooked]

Wow im really sorry to ehar about your situation i hope you can figure everything out.

Mine is not as serious but i suppose ill share. One day i took 60mg of adderall and smoked a blunt with a couple friends. After the blunt FULL BLOWN PANIC ATTACK. It was the scariest thing ever...because i have never experienced one before and didnt even really know what "anxiety" was. So after that panic attack its like i was traumatized or something and entered this weird fog like headspace which i believe to be depersonalization and just had generalized anxiety.

It actually really sucked but during this time i quit weed and all other drugs, focused on my diet and took many vitamins and supplements and now im back to normal. Sometimes i get anxiety now and again but now i have the tools to control it because during the time i also became very educated on the subject of anxiety. So actually i feel like i have come out the other side a "better" person. Im more easily able to handle stressful situation and situations which would normally cause anxiety for everyone ( such as a class speech or whatever). Pluss i feel proud that i beat it and it doesnt control me.

Perhaps the same could happen to you? I dunno ha so thats, that.

 

[ColtDan]

induced mild PTSD from a bad trip once. it lasted awhile, was getting flashbacks and things, felt like it nearly brung on panic attacks. induced fairly long lasting depression and anxiety from mephedrone, was caught in a cycle of abuse. also fairly mild paranoia and depersonalization. nothing quite damaging enough to properly ruin my life though

 

[fakeplastictrees4]

the way drugs affect ones mental health is a very complex topic. Everyones brain works differently, the way they're wired can differ so much from person to person. The millions and millions of sparks going off in our brains every day all day really depends on you, on the way you were brought up and your genetic make up. I am young and my brain is still developing, sometimes I worry what "damage" I may have done with my drug use(abuse). I know for a fact that it has changed things but I am trying to let those changes be good ones, I have learned to appreciate my life more, and I see things in a different light. My use has brought upon a lot of hard times, but then again what part of adolescence is easy? At the moment the only drug I have done lately is mdma about a month ago and previous to that I had gone through a binge in the beginning of august which cause me to go through some derealization and social anxiety. I have also abstained from weed for the past week or so and honestly since slowing down my drug use I have not felt any better. At the moment I am going through a hard time in my life and I have never felt shittier than I have this last month. This is all due to something that isn't drug related.

All of my life I had been extremely anxious is social situations, but basically, through using mdma it has taught me that people actually like to be talked to. And I;m not bothering them when I speak up or ask questions. I now have a growing social network and can find myself being the first one to initiate a conversation easily. Which was never the case before.

Anything and everything you do affects your brain somehow, a lot of people don't realize that the kinds of foods you eat can have an immense impact upon your mental well being. So why chalk up all your mental health problems to drugs? The drugs themselves aren;t to blame. Your brain is immensly powerful and you have the choice to use it wisely or let it vegetate.

I am not in the least bit trying to say that drugs don't have a strong pull and affect on ourselves. I was slightly addicted to dexedrine when I had a source who gave it to me basically for free for several months. (now I know dexedrine is not really anything compared to the problems people may have with H/meth, ect...) but it definitely caused some paranoia, heart palpitation, and seemed to sap me of all my energy when I was not on it. The difference between a drug and something like food....excersize....sleeping habits, ect. Is that drugs are engineered specifically to affect you in such a way, where as everyday things are just that. Everyday things. And you don't realize what affect they may have because it seems like such a normal thing.

 

[xxsicknessxx]

I blame Rc's. I used drugs for around 7 years strait with no real problem. Sure I had to take a break once in awhile but no health or mental issues. After I started playing with Rc's mdpv mainly my life fell apart. I have long term mental issues and health issues now. I lasted about 2 years before it got real bad. I ended up in jail, mental hospitals, detoxes, programs... nothing worked. I lost my mind for months at a time, I was seeing things on and off drugs. It was horrible. My parents and friends really thought I was lost forever. I was in the hospital for about 2 months for various reasons. It was bad. I am still recovering after 7months of being sober. I am trying hard to recover. I am doing ok. But your not alone. I was left with health problems, sleeping problems, and mental problems including a serious case of OCD which I never had before mdpv. I have paranoia issues and panic attacks too from mdpv. It sucks but im getting better. You got to eat healthy, work out, life a good clean life and soon you will recover I promise. It takes time. I didn't really feel better untill a strait 5months of soberity but im getting better every day now.

So to answer you yea I got problems forever im sure and I fear the day I wake up back in that insane state of mind but for now im taking it one day at a time.

 

[Seattle_Stranger]

Gotta ask, what was the drug you speak of OP? Don't worry, there's no judging here, and there is no drug too far out to be discussed on Bluelight. We've seen it all here. Do a Bluelight search for threads with replies of "WTF", I bet you get interesting results.

Do I feel different post drug use than I did before I started? Yes, absolutely. For better or worse? I say both, in various ways.

Do I feel like there is a specific drug that caused the turnaround? Yes, MDMA.

Do I feel like problems arose from my drug use? Yes, absolutely.

Have I damaged myself? Perhaps, there's no definitive way to tell. I can guarantee though, after a specific experience with MDMA, I am certainly a different person with a whole new set of both strengths and weaknesses.

Are these problems reversible? Absolutely. Abstinence and personal health are the key factors to recovery. I have not used MDMA in a while and really don't plan to again. It is way too detrimental to my health and psychological state of mind, so I do myself a favor and I avoid it. You'd be surprised how resilient your body and brain are to sustaining damage from drugs. It's actually rather uncommon for someone to suffer direct damage to their brain via drug use. It is usually mostly psychological, and yes I know this might be extremely hard to believe. I was there, I was absolutely convinced that I broke my brain with MDMA and inhalants and was completely depersonalized for nearly a year after a single life changing experience. It wasn't until I convinced myself that I DON'T CARE HOW DAMAGED I MAY BE, I'm going to move on with my life and enjoy it to the fullest extent of my ability, damage or no damage. From that point on, I've been recovering every day, feeling better and better as the months pass by. Now, no more than 2 years after my 'incident', I chuckle at the thought of how I used to be, thinking I was all broken. At this point, it seems ridiculous to imagine myself feeling that way, proving that I have recovered from that state of mind a great deal, simply from convincing myself that I was just fine.

Do I still feel negative after effects today? Yes, absolutely. To make a long story short, I find myself a far more sensitive, understanding, emotionally aware person with a deeper, more abstract way of thinking. This has it's pro's and con's, because yes, I am much more creative, I'm more understanding to people's emotions therefore I am a nicer, more empathetic, caring person than I used to be, and I also love the new very-far-out-of-the-box approach my mind defaults to when analyzing something. However, this also means I'm much more sensitive to things people say/do, more easily offended or insulted, I find I over think things, I fear uncertainty more than I used to, I get caught in thought loops, I have more 'extreme views' when thinking about the future, etc.. I also have developed short term memory problems (probably from daily cannabis usage), I feel like my reaction time is slower, it's harder to maintain focus on non-interesting things, I even notice differences in my peripheral vision. Some of these are negatives, some just neutral observations, some even positives, but to answer the overall question, yes, I feel quite different post-drug-use.

 

[Cyc]

OK, since nobody else will ask and you look like you just need a bit of prodding, I will.

What drug was it?

edit: Seattle asked, my bad

 

[Seattle_Stranger]

OK, since nobody else will ask and you look like you just need a bit of prodding, I will.

What drug was it?

That was literally the first sentence in my post:

Gotta ask, what was the drug you speak of OP? Don't worry, there's no judging here, and there is no drug too far out to be discussed on Bluelight. We've seen it all here. Do a Bluelight search for threads with replies of "WTF", I bet you get interesting results.

 

[Cyc]

I edited my post before you posted the above. Check the timestamps.

I have a rule. I never quote anyone until their post has been visible for at least 10 minutes. I know that I often post and make edits after, especially before the "edited by" timer comes up. It's a good habit to get into.

That way you give the person a reasonable amount of time to fix mistakes before obnoxiously correcting them.

 

[lazydullard]

some of those thoughts about dieing are natural. so don't worry too much. some might be from drugs though! i definitely have experienced mental complications.. I think i got more retarded, or crazy. I dunno. lots of people in my family are weird or unfunctional. I think they're somewhere on the autistic spectrum, or even the schizophrenic spectrum (or they're the same, depending on the literature you read). but anyways, everyone treats me different now than they did before. it's like the drugs have made me more retarded, or crazy, so much so, that it's obvious now and people treat me like they treat the mentally defeficient --sometimes nice, sometimes awful.

what drug was it? benadryl? gasoline? i've done both. nobody's gonna judge you badly, no matter what it was. unless you say catnip or something.

anyways, i stopped almost all drugs for two years now, and i still feel "off." but i feel much less "off" then i felt a year ago, and definitely way less off than when I felt when I was still on drugs. but i reckon i've been "off"ed forever, at least a little.

 

[Planet Hemp]

i OD on 450mg of benflogin( benzydamine ) with alcohol almost 2 years ago. some mental problems like social anxiety and panic syndrom started to appear . i've only abused it 2 other times(without alcohol). i still feel some of the effects when i dont sleep for too long

 

[brimz]

i haven't worked since 1997 because of Drug Addiction n mental Health issues.

 

[D n A]

I think that my k use has finally caught up to me. I've been in a mental fog lately- issues concentrating, thinking, remembering. I find it difficult to motivate myself, and it's starting to be a problem now. I'm going to try and lay off the k and coke for a bit because this is a crucial time in my life and I can't be fucking around.