Damn, I called it out like a pro. I know a FOB when I see one, and read about one LOL!
Sorry that your mom is like that, that's just the way some Asian cultures are, as you know. Women in some of them are not allowed to speak in certain social settings, as messed up as it sounds it seems she has had that grounded into her. I would not recommend cutting off communication with her, as that will likely make her never talk to you again. Otherwise my best advice would be to take it one day at time, and understand that it's not your fault she was raised that way.
It seems to me that she likely went through some other issues in the past, but that is not for a public forum, and certainly not proper for me to talk about it.
My wife's grandparents encouraged our marriage because I look like a white guy, so I know how you feel about that pressuring for the tall white guy thing. Even to this day her Lola calls me the "that white guy". She takes every chance she can to tear me over to her so she can talk with me, but she speaks an old dialect of Tagalog that I can not understand, so it makes me seem even more like "that white guy" to her. That is very frustrating. I don't have kind eyes, her family says I have scary eyes. Not really sure why or what it's about to be honest.
I totally get it. Glad you understand. LOL @ the eyes! I told my bf and he was like, thank goodness for the "kind eyes".. lol. She's definitely been through a lot. She's Japanese/Chinese and grew up during the war period so was subjected to a lot of racial discrimination.. especially China is pretty fucked up. I think that's why I'm kind of understanding.. but she (I think) doesn't understand how she's actually portraying herself?
Hmmm.. I'm Filipina too but my parents/family are not that way.. They would rather have me marry a pure Filipino guy because they think that they will understand each other better and culture wise it is way much better as well.
On the other hand, you have a point Jeof1 but based on what I have read so far, her mom is just extremely unbearable. Yes it is not her fault that she was raised that way but in any culture, the care and the love for your son or daughter should be your priority and their well being which I dont think her mom gives importance at all.
Well, obviously not asians (nor people/families) are the same... but I want to say asians usually want you to stay within the ethnicity... but Japanese are like obsessed with the "tall/white man"...
See.. that's the thing though.. she thinks she's doing the best (or constantly says she is) you know by being harsh and giving me these constructive criticisms, "stealing from her house" (she buys SOO much food + isn't that what parents are for?), ONE semester (yes, thank you FOREVER), and the car (but I called it "stupid" BECAUSE SHE HAD ME PUT MY ENTIRE SCHOOL SAVINGS INTO IT--hello?? ) I know, I'm a big girl, I should have said no.. but it's so hard when you're raised to please and you never EVER please... Like, today, she told me that she's ready to die because she cries to sleep every night because of my horrific failures and personality. Well, she actually told my boyfriend that while we were "having lunch" --like thanks mom.
I can totally relate to the whole overprotective immigrant parents thing [Polish], it is a hard way to grow up in some ways especially if your grandparents or parents had really traumatic lives like mine did [from the Holocaust, communism, and horrific, random tragedies...including my own problems really]. Which really makes the whole drug habit aspect of things especially sad, I feel so guilty, that my parents moved to this land to give me an opportunity and I squandered it horrifically. oh well....anyway...
YOUR story, Pretty_Diamonds, is starting to veer further and further away from what I know of Chinese culture. Chinese parents, or so I've heard, don't charge family, esp. kids, for rent. I've heard "Oriental" people criticize Canadians for doing so at least...and basically no culture does that but North American...so to be honest, although this might sound offensive, it is mostly an individual thing it sounds like. Your mom just has issues. We all do... I guess you'll probably come to terms with the reality of things more and more as you age, and maybe eventually things will smoothen out quite a bit.
Good luck
She's Chinese business lady. Self-made millionaire.. so yeah, she def. has issues. I get it--that's why the title of the thread is called, "crazy moms" lol.
My family charges rent if you are over 18 and living there with employment. It's more of a, "Hey we paid for everything up until now, time to start giving back" thing for us. I'm speaking about the German side that is. I grew up with them mostly, and it's odd being the shortest person in a household where all the males are over 6' except for you...
Well... my boyfriend and I are already renting a one bedroom for $900 so her ASKING us to move in for the same price is kind of.. I don't know.. in convenient? I mean, we're going to have less privacy, no parking, blah, blah, her up our asses, blah, AND she's is such a "favor-person"... like no drivers license, no ENGRISH, old--can't read no more.. like... srsly. ALSO, I get the giving back.. because Japanese are the same way... but not till AFTER the child finishes school and usually gets married AND has a child. Parents will usually move back into the house to provide free child care for the I guess free housing. She has only paid a semester.. I'm still attending school.. I DON'T want to move back in with her.. I mean... ??
Soooooooooo, during our lunch, lol, I recorded her cuz she was all ranting all cray cray...
I was thinking of playing it back to her because she's basically telling (my boyfriend and I) about what an AMAZING mother she is and what a HORRIBLE daughter/person I am. I redirected her to a "good ole' time" story and right after she asks me to go fix her car. Like.. um... the car that you want me to fix but don't want to pay for? Yeah.. about that. Lol. HELLO!?!?! Crazy bitch.
. She makes me feel so bad about the kid thing though.. she's like.. you don't even have to raise it! I'll raise it. I'm like mom, come on.. I'm not going to bring a child into this world and give him/her to you! 
..
