Anybody have a crazy asian mom?

[Pretty_Diamonds]

My mom is Japanese Chinese and is pretty crazy. Our relationship is pretty much non-existant. There's a lot of anger and I don't know why.

Can anybody relate?

 

[Maya]

My mom is Asian too, I have a really good relationship with my parents but since they are super conservative, we sometimes argue over little stuff. I think that Asian parents, have really strict rules when it comes to parenting. Is your mom strict? I know a friend who has a friend who was disowned by her mother for not marrying a Chinese guy. I think that culture has an influence on this matter as well.

 

[llama112]

I have a couple friends who are Asian (with Asian parents) who I'm close to and they both say that their parents are crazy. Over-protective, super conservative, strict, etc.

My one friend is Chinese (her parents were both born in China), she started dating this guy who was half Chinese, half something else (another type of Asian, maybe Korean, I can't remember what she said), and her parents hated it because he wasn't completely Chinese.

 

[Pretty_Diamonds]

Yeah, my mom was born in China too. She hates it though because she was discriminated a lot over there. Thankfully my mom has no problem with my bf (he's mixed).

I don't even know if I want to talk about our current "fight" or issue. Lol.

My mom is Asian too, I have a really good relationship with my parents but since they are super conservative, we sometimes argue over little stuff. I think that Asian parents, have really strict rules when it comes to parenting. Is your mom strict? I know a friend who has a friend who was disowned by her mother for not marrying a Chinese guy. I think that culture has an influence on this matter as well.

Are you 1st generation? Yeah, she's pretty strict but I haven't lived with her for 4 years so it's not that big of a deal. It's weird because she loves my bf but hates me. Like every time she travels or needs a ride. She insists on having my bf pick her up and not me. I end up picking her up anyways because I don't want to unnecessarily inconvenience my bf.

 

[gr33n3y3z]

I thought all Asians where a bit crazy not a "bad" crazy just well..I've heard stories . And had first hand "crazy Asian" experiences and I will not get into that deff not SLR material.

 

[Mysterie]

i have a lot of asian friends with a parent or two who fit the nuts asian parent steriotype to a T

theres a few with pretty chill cool parents as well tho

and im white and my parents are pretty crazy but at the same time semi-logical in reasoning skills

 

[Maya]

I am mostly Filipina but there's quite of a mix in me :D. My father's mother is half Portuguese which makes us part Portuguese. My mother is 25% Chinese but mostly Filipina. Both of them have Spanish last names but this is quite typical in the Philippines even if you looked like you are Chinese. So basically I am a mix of Portuguese, Chinese, Filipino and Spanish.

I am not sure why she hates you but how was your relationship with her before? Have you done something in the past that made her upset with you? When I was in my teens (12-16) I had ridiculous curfews. I can't even sleep over at my girlfriends house and had to sneak out to be able to go to parties and such. This became a huge problem and caused a rift between me and my parents. I pretty much rebelled my way out starting from 19-25. I think when you are deprived of something you tend to want it more. I am ok with them now as I have realized my past mistakes and should have listened to them. Maybe what you can do is try to be patient with her and try to communicate with her about how you feel. Between my parents, my dad was the stricter one so I had a hard time patching up my relationship with him, but I showed him that I have changed and that I deserve another chance. I am not sure what you and your mom has been fighting about but maybe you have to be more patient with her?

 

[pofacedhoe]

culture does have a huge effect but the personality of your parent/parents plays a very big part along with their expectations for you

my mum is irish but she is very open minded and that does not hold true for the irish population as a whole ( unnecessary refused abortion related deaths and evil nun workhouses for the poor abound)
generalizations come from assumptions and fears and the individual can fight them and be different (within reason) no matter what country or era.

and parents the world over freak out over stupid shit and think their child cannot see what is happening. different expression of the same theme

 

[gr33n3y3z]

^^^ Hey they're my mom was borne in Northern Belfast and lived there for quite some time then moved to Canada and so on.

we're not all potatoes eating drunks!

Like not Asians eat cats uh wait that Chinese.

Well yea get the point.

 

[Pretty_Diamonds]

I am mostly Filipina but there's quite of a mix in me :D. My father's mother is half Portuguese which makes us part Portuguese. My mother is 25% Chinese but mostly Filipina. Both of them have Spanish last names but this is quite typical in the Philippines even if you looked like you are Chinese. So basically I am a mix of Portuguese, Chinese, Filipino and Spanish.

I am not sure why she hates you but how was your relationship with her before? Have you done something in the past that made her upset with you? When I was in my teens (12-16) I had ridiculous curfews. I can't even sleep over at my girlfriends house and had to sneak out to be able to go to parties and such. This became a huge problem and caused a rift between me and my parents. I pretty much rebelled my way out starting from 19-25. I think when you are deprived of something you tend to want it more. I am ok with them now as I have realized my past mistakes and should have listened to them. Maybe what you can do is try to be patient with her and try to communicate with her about how you feel. Between my parents, my dad was the stricter one so I had a hard time patching up my relationship with him, but I showed him that I have changed and that I deserve another chance. I am not sure what you and your mom has been fighting about but maybe you have to be more patient with her?

We've always had a rocky relationship. Every time I missed curfew (6pm) she would kick me out (take my phone/keys). So I did kind of rebel because I didn't bother going home till the next day. What was the point? I would be left with no keys/phone (but she would disconnect my phone anyways). I ended up getting a prepaid but she would take it away whenever I misbehaved even though I bought it (got a job at 15). Like I said, I moved out right when I turned 18 (stealthy moving stuff out a duffle bag at a time). She called the police and tried to get me arrested for running away and when the cops told her I was 18, she tried to get me arrested for stealing (and listed all my birthday and christmas presents).

Anyway, I paid my way through college and got into grad school. She finally said she would help me with graduate school (she's super ballin'). I got a job that requires a lot of driving (50 miles round trip daily) so we went car shopping and she literally forced me to buy a $27k lexus (she paid for half) but it drained my entire savings. I told her that I didn't want such an expensive car and if I bought it I wouldn't have money for graduate school. She told me not to worry and that she'll pay for my tuition. Well, she told me recently that she can only pitch in a thousand when tuition is due in a month (and that she has no money -__-). Like, what the fuck. AND SHE DOES THIS ALL THE TIME. My bf was even like, you should have seen it coming. She's one shady bitch!

 

[pofacedhoe]

we're not all potatoes eating drunks!

i never said anyone was.

We've always had a rocky relationship. Every time I missed curfew (6pm) she would kick me out (take my phone/keys). So I did kind of rebel because I didn't bother going home till the next day. What was the point? I would be left with no keys/phone (but she would disconnect my phone anyways). I ended up getting a prepaid but she would take it away whenever I misbehaved even though I bought it (got a job at 15). Like I said, I moved out right when I turned 18 (stealthy moving stuff out a duffle bag at a time). She called the police and tried to get me arrested for running away and when the cops told her I was 18, she tried to get me arrested for stealing (and listed all my birthday and christmas presents).

Anyway, I paid my way through college and got into grad school. She finally said she would help me with graduate school (she's super ballin'). I got a job that requires a lot of driving (50 miles round trip daily) so we went car shopping and she literally forced me to buy a $27k lexus (she paid for half) but it drained my entire savings. I told her that I didn't want such an expensive car and if I bought it I wouldn't have money for graduate school. She told me not to worry and that she'll pay for my tuition. Well, she told me recently that she can only pitch in a thousand when tuition is due in a month (and that she has no money -__-). Like, what the fuck. AND SHE DOES THIS ALL THE TIME. My bf was even like, you should have seen it coming. She's one shady bitch!

i doubt this a culture thing. it sounds like she's a manipulative asshole that wants to control you. your boyfriends right- you should have seen it coming.

learn from this that she is not to be trusted. unfortunate but true

 

[Pretty_Diamonds]

Well, gee, thanks. She's my mother. Only family I have in the entire country.

Crazy asian moms are controlling. It is a culture thing.

 

[Joeof1]

My dad is Flip, does that count? He's been non existent my entire life. He has a lot of girlfriends including ones near my age. I dare not bring my wife near him because I do not want to subject her to that sort of thing.

 

[Flinque]

My dad is Vietnamese but pretty much relaxed, he's very European when it comes to raising kids. He allows me and my sister to do what we want, but if we make mistakes it's our own fault and he expects that we learn from it. And for him, a deal is a deal - if I wanna go to party and he says to be home by 2am then he expects me to be home 2am or then it's just too bad for me and I cannot go another time.

My mom is a crazy Chinese. Seriously, she's a control freak and thinks she can change everyone. She just moved out due to fight about how unfair my dad is because he smokes and drinks, saying he could spend the money on her instead of smoking and drinking. This discussion has been going on literally since I was born, so I'm kind of relieved it finally ended even though I'm not going to see my mom much anymore >.>

 

[pofacedhoe]

Well, gee, thanks. She's my mother. Only family I have in the entire country.

Crazy asian moms are controlling. It is a culture thing.

yeah but still you cant rely on her from what you have said. i'm only going on what you have described. maybe she doesn't have the money that she wishes she does...

 

[Sticky Green]

I'm guessing your mom's name is on the title? If not, you know how to fix the problem.

And 50 miles on Hawaii? You must live on the big island. I was just there on vacation a couple months ago, based out of Honomu. Nice place.

 

[Kitz]

Her behaviour seems really extreme and excessive. It's like she wants you to hurt ? I would say distance yourself from her until she is willing to treat you with more respect .

 

[Pretty_Diamonds]

Thanks everyone for your responses. It's nice to hear that other people have crazy asian parents. Lol.

Sticky Green, if I knew how to solve the problem--I obviously would have. You can't "fix" people or change them. & why would I lie about driving time? I HAVE TO DRIVE ALL THE WAY TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ISLAND. and traffic is horrible. Glad you enjoyed the big island.

Kitz, sometimes that's what I think. I always take "breaks" from her but then she'll call me to help her with an errand and I end up helping her. We only have each other (well we have our bfs) so it's hard to say no to her. We had a huge falling out when I turned 18 and didn't speak for a year. She still brings it up randomly like, "remember when you abandoned your family when you were 18 thinking you were so amazing and strong? What did you gain from that? Nothing. You lost precious time with your family and severed ties. " So I know she's hurt about that... but I don't think she realizes how mean she is to me? One of my friends told me to record her and play it back for her whenever we hang out. Lol.

 

[ControlDenied]

My family is Polish and the only family I have in the country too. I think immigration and only having like, your immediate family to truly depend on, creates a huge strain and that adds to the culture clash problems of living in the West.

It's a much bigger issue than any "blue blooded" WASP North American could ever realise [any Anglo i've tried explaining it to is like "man, just forget about it, wtf you worrying about it...shake it off]...right...

Not to be a bastard but I've often though...at least they're not Asian lol. They're even crazier. I've had insane experiences with Vietnamese people for example. They make Slavs look like English people in comparison hehehh

 

[Sticky Green]

I didn't accuse you of lying, and there's no need to shout.

I was only suggesting that you could fix the car value vs. tuition problem if the title is in your name.