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Anybody else get stuck around the 2 week mark?

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PharmGirl77

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Jan 14, 2015
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26
I'm getting off opiates once and for all. After 4 years of on and off use, each time going higher and higher, I'm done. One of the deciding factors (other than not ruining my life), was that I reached a point where it just didn't make me feel as great as it used to. And while I had become tolerant to the highs, the lows kept getting worse and worse. I'd read about this on BL, but it was a different thing to actually experience it. There was one day I took 900 mg of oxycodone. And yes, it gave me some energy, made me a little more chatty and ambitious than usual, but it really wasn't that great. But oh my gosh, I have never felt so depressed, awful, despondent, you name it, when I came down. Enough was enough.

So the first of this year I quit. The physical withdrawal wasn't bad thanks to high dose loperamide (other than extreme fatigue), but mentally it's been really rough. The first few days I have major anxiety, esp anytime I'm "transitioning" to a different environment (e.g. getting up in the morning, going to work, etc). I would break out in this horrible cold sweat, literally dripping from my forehead, for up to an hour before I could calm down. That gets better after a few days, but then the depression, bleakness, hopelessness, etc starts in. I know it's part of the healing process, and I won't feel like this forever, but it's making me crazy. I've slipped up every 2 weeks, only to start the process all over again. Before, after that first slip up I'd just give up and go back to using. But I'm determined to make this a defining year, so I keep picking myself up and starting over. I'm at that 2 week mark again. I don't know if I've ever made it past 2 weeks without a slip up. It's not happening again. I'm just going to have to suck it up and push through it. And hope that it will get a little easier once I get over this hump. Has anybody else struggled at this point? Any words of encouragement and advice are welcome!!!
 
Hey pharmgirl
I am what you like to call a chronic relapser ive bin using heroin for over ten years now.
You must be a really tough girl to get to two weeks that is no easy task
The only advice i can think off is to do something different this time around that you did not or did last time which caused you to relapse.
Wether it be meetings or talking to ppl only you know the reason you always wind up using after two weeks try to find out why and work on it.
Wish you all the best i am coming up on two weeks myself i wish i could be half as optomistic about my sobriety as you ;)
 
I was stuck more like 5 day mark for a long time, didnt even feel bad but the pink cloud always caught me. Not anymore, thank god, its rough the first few weeks/months. Maybe there is some artificial mental barrier too if you never make it past 2 weeks, but guess what, one time you will somehow and it rocks. The time might as well be now. Even if you feel like shit it still rocks. Perhaps getting on an anti-depressant for a couple months if its bad enough? Just dont throw it away, it will be worth it.

Read some recovery stories, I believe we all need some kind of mentor to do this. Some go to NA for their mentoring, but thats not the only option. You can find some really inspirational people online too.
 
On day 2 right now it fuking sucks. I would give my left arm to be at the two week point. I know it sucks man, but unless you want to keep starting over you just gotta keep pushing. Eventually you won't be able to make it out and get to that 2 week point again. And your gonna look back on this thread saying godam I should of just keep going I was doing so well. Idk where your from this NY winter has been awful but just go for long walks with some music playing and enjoy not being in withdrawals or "in the life"

if your like me I slip ups a lot because I get so fuking bored once the hustle stops. It seems like no matter what I do. Hobbies exercise work it doesn't matter it's all boring and time goes so slow so you start thinking bad thoughts. I do t have all the answers dude sometimes I think it's inescapable, but you sound like you got it in you so im hoping you get through it. How old are you? 22-25?
 
I'm actually 37... Married with 2 kids. :)

I guess you could say I got started late! After I got my tonsils out I had some leftover vicodin. Took it one day a couple months later bc I needed a pick-me-up. It made me feel awesome. .. great mood, tons of energy. At the time I honestly thought it made me a better person (wife, mother, manager). It went from there and took me to a place I NEVER thought I'd be.
 
Fuck I can't even get to the 3rd day mark ever! I'd kill to have two weeks!!! I'm almost at 2 days. Damn 2 weeks.... That's mad money saved!!
 
PharmGirl77 said:
I'm actually 37... Married with 2 kids. :)

I guess you could say I got started late! After I got my tonsils out I had some leftover vicodin. Took it one day a couple months later bc I needed a pick-me-up. It made me feel awesome. .. great mood, tons of energy. At the time I honestly thought it made me a better person (wife, mother, manager). It went from there and took me to a place I NEVER thought I'd be.
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the scary thing is it does make you a more productive person for a very short time..u have more energy and empathy, are more social for a few weeks, maybe months if you are lucky but then all that switches in an instant and u become the complete opposite..a recluse whose entire life revolves around oxy..

when i quit oxy i literally couldnt get more so i just didnt bother looking for anythig else..i felt like shit for about 6-8 weeks..first week i didnt get an hour of sleep, no energy or motivation, felt like evry ounce of happiness had been sucked out of me, no appetite but gradually it lessens...time is the only thing that helps and exercise if you can do it..
 
Hey pharm i hope you are doing well
Today is two weeks for me and to be honest i feel like shit and think of nothing else other then getting high all day
I will not do it tho i have come to realise this time that if i pick up again it is either till i die or something else bad cuz i do not have another kick in me i just dont
I havent slept but a few hours in the past two weeks which is killing me i just cant do it again so its all or nothing for me right now and i hope to stick with the nothing
Time to go to work now i hope you are doing well i look forward to your update
 
CfZrx said:
Go Pharmgirl! I'm on day 10, I sure hope i DON'T DO SOMETHING i REGRET THIS WEEK.whoops caps :) Good luck!
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The first 10 days are the worst physically speaking.. You'll get there.. It all depends on you. Work on your strategy to go around cravings as they tend to come anytime now. It comes and goes.
Good luck :)
 
just in case you don't think you worth it, you are!!

Hang in there. you are strong. you can do anything,
 
Day 16 or 17 for me i feel pretty good besides the no sleep rls and no energy but im not hating life which is always nice hope your doing well pharmgirl
 
totach said:
Day 16 or 17 for me i feel pretty good besides the no sleep rls and no energy but im not hating life which is always nice hope your doing well pharmgirl
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shit I mean I guess I knew that you still had RLS at 2 weeks, but I DO NOT want to belive that..i think if you really exercise and work on your mental state...you can end all the suffering at the 2 week point..thats my personal opinion of course. im at a week, and feel A TON better, todays the first day where during the day RLS isn't a problem.
 
Hi guys! Thanks so much for all the advice and encouragement. Someone said to do something different this time. Well, this time I made the original post, and leaned on you all for support. On bad days, I read this thread over and over. .. along with other threads in this forum.

I have had ZERO oxy or hydro. I haven't exactly been an angel though.... I've taken tramadol here and there. But honestly, I need to just give it up bc I don't even feel anything from it. I would probably have a seizure before I got euphoria. And while I've obviously made some poor choices, I know better than to keep popping tramadol til I feel better.

So...I guess I'm doing better. It's a slow but steady improvement. When I get down or frustrated, I remember how BAD I was in the beginning. In comparison, I'm a thousand times better today. I guess I keep hoping to wake up one day and feel fantastic, and so far that hasn't happened... and probably won't. .. for a long time. I just keep pushing through it. When I get overwhelmed, I try to focus on only the very next thing I need to do (take a shower, get the kids ready for school, go to work, etc) and not think about anything else. As long as I keep moving I'll get somewhere. I still have anxiety attacks from time to time, but I've learned that I have to just ride it out, and it WILL subside. And as far as my overall mental state. .things don't seem quite so bleak. When on oxy, I had EXTREME highs and lows. Now it's more in the middle. I'm not super happy, but I'm not hopelessly depressed either. Most of the time I feel somewhat calm and content.

So that's where I'm at. I love reading anything and everything you guys post! !
 
I keep hoping to wake up one day and feel fantastic, and so far that hasn't happened... and probably won't. .. for a long time.
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That always gets me. Whenever I relapsed in the past I often told myself I was better off using and feeling 'normal' than sick.

As long as I keep moving I'll get somewhere.
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I love this... and my boss always says "just keep the truck on the road" when things are bad reminds me of that. I find myself saying it now.

Calm and content isn't bad thing! Don't look for strong swings like when you were using. Things should become more stable as you stop using! I think that's a positive not a negative! Keep up the good work and stay strong
 
I don't visit this site as much anymore but I remember you giving me encouragement in my thread re quitting opiates. And we both tried to quit around the same time, except you had a larger amount (more difficult to quit)

Just want to say you've done a great job so far pharm girl!! Nice to see we're both sticking to it, I can't imagine it was easy for you.

All the best!
 
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