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Any veterans here with a substance abuse problem following your deployment?

T

TTZ234

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 12, 2004
Messages
115
Location
Bergen,Norway( US born/double citizenships)
Hi,I just wondered if there were any fellow vets on this board..quite a few I know from the service and other ex military friends have developed a substance abuse problem after they got discharged(some even before),Mostly opiates and benzos but I had a friend that committed suicide after a night of partying w/friends and MDMA and speed..(his last deployment was in Lebanon in the 80's so it took a good 15-20 years for him to finally check out:( )
I myself,allthough a US born citizen(moved to Europe as a kid and have double citizenships),was part of a Norwegian contingent to ISAF in A-stan back in 07/08 ,upon reentering civvie street I felt very angry towards random people..maybe its me thats just a drama queen but if the bus driver looked at me the wrong way I secretly wanted to kick his teeth in..

Then came the anxiety and nightmares and having had a secret history of drug use prior to enlisting,I quickly started to do benzos and after a while opiates via snorting bupe..

I'm just curious,and please don't feel obligated to answer in any sense,if there's anyone out there on BL that are kindred spirits of mine..something that given this last decade and its events it almost must be(?)


PS I wasnt 100% sure where to put this so I put it in "drug culture"..if theres a more suiting place please do move it by all means..
 
This could be a good thread, and I'm curious myself as to how many veterans we might have here on BL. Let's see where this one goes...

I don't have much to contribute myself, being a mere civilian, but I remember watching something on television about post-traumatic stress disorder and veterans suffering from substance abuse problems. I remember a veteran describing his walk back from a bar and impulsively scanning all the roof tops for insurgents despite being back in the U.S. For whatever reason, that stuck with me. I can't imagine scanning roof tops as being something almost second nature. Scary, very scary...
 
This will be a great thread if/when people that have served & want to share their experiences, looking forward to reading everything posted in this thread.

I remember when I was about 10 or 11 years old & I was at the mall with my mom, sister & brother & we were waiting outside for my dad to pick us up & there was a Vietnam vet that I would see around town now & then waiting for the bus a couple feet away from us. It was a sunny day & at one point a helicopter was flying over us high up in the sky & as soon as it zipped over us, he started to scream & cursing like he was back in Vietnam & was being attacked by the enemy.

My mom rushed us inside the mall thinking he might flip out & start attacking people. People had told my parents that he was taking heavy drugs & was a heavy drinker as well. I guess I would be an heavy opiate addict & alcoholic as well if I had to go threw a war........trying to forget the stuff that happened is no easy task w/o drugs or alcohol.
 
Thank you for your service, one day I hope to join the USMC and fight for my country (not for the government, for the people)

it seems like many would develop and opiate problem in Afghanistan, due to the large amount of opium and heroin made there. It would be like in the Vietnam war where heroin and opium use was becoming and epidemic with soldiers stationed there, but that could be due to the fact that many were conscripts, and didnt not want to fight in the first place
 
My brother served in Iraq from about 2001- 2005/6. He went in an alcoholic, it progressed and got way way out of control. He came back (to the States) a raging alcoholic. In addition, he has PTSD, severe anxiety, depression (un-diagnosed bipolar) -- The VA is shit, he is addicted to benzodiazapines (they will only prescribe him 5 pill a month due to his multiple DUI's...), he is somehow unable to get a pshcyiatrist OR psychologist who'll see him regularly.

My cousin served in Iraq and came back, joined a gang in Cali, abused cocaine, alcohol, is currently addicted to xanax for anxiety/depression (he tried to commit suicide -- or, ALMOST tried... long story. Sad story). He is still an alcoholic.

It seems as though more people than not, come back from wherever they have served... as an addict, or with some sort of serious problem. My boyfriend served in Iraq as well. He was actually worse off before the military in some ways: before - abused ALL drugs he could get his hands on, also had many legal issues (public urination, carrying a machete/driving with said machete, public intoxication, fighting...etc). He has/had anger problems - doesn't hurt women (thank goodness... yet?), he drinks regularly 'now', he smoked a few packs of cigarettes a day, DOES NOT use cocaine (much) anymore. Likes psychedelics, marijuana (but doesn't smoke it much)... meh. That's all I've got right now.

Edit : regarding Afghanistan : My brother said he regularly was offered hashish - never opium (etc). He DID trade his US cigs/alcohol for hashish on some occasions. The temptation IS there. It's apparently super easy/common... part of their way of life (the local people, that is) -- I'm talking about Baghdad.
 
I was in the army just after vietnam, was stationed in west germany ( when there was such a thing) I never drank before I went in, but I sure did by the time I got out.
Mandrex and vesprex were big (ludes) and tons of hash.
I now take to many perscribed methadone for pain, and tell you all the truth feel like ending it all.
no teeth to eat with, this goddamned drug habit, my wife just lives with me, she has turned the kids against me...
Some life, huh?
I really do love my kids and know that leaving like that will fuck them up, but I really see no other way.
My life has went downhill for about 30 years and am just so fucking tired of living.
and to top it off I ran out yesterday and have to get my doc to write another script, which I will use to check out of this fucking nightmare.
 
I'm a US soldier in Afghanistan right now. I didn't stumble upon this website until I got out here. I really want a drink though.

I've decided that I'll do MDMA for the first time once my tour is over. I'm just a casual drinker, though, and I also try to get a puff of MJ in between piss tests, but that's all.
 
TTZ234 said:
Hi,I just wondered if there were any fellow vets on this board..quite a few I know from the service and other ex military friends have developed a substance abuse problem after they got discharged(some even before),Mostly opiates and benzos but I had a friend that committed suicide after a night of partying w/friends and MDMA and speed..(his last deployment was in Lebanon in the 80's so it took a good 15-20 years for him to finally check out:( )
I myself,allthough a US born citizen(moved to Europe as a kid and have double citizenships),was part of a Norwegian contingent to ISAF in A-stan back in 07/08 ,upon reentering civvie street I felt very angry towards random people..maybe its me thats just a drama queen but if the bus driver looked at me the wrong way I secretly wanted to kick his teeth in..

Then came the anxiety and nightmares and having had a secret history of drug use prior to enlisting,I quickly started to do benzos and after a while opiates via snorting bupe..

I'm just curious,and please don't feel obligated to answer in any sense,if there's anyone out there on BL that are kindred spirits of mine..something that given this last decade and its events it almost must be(?)


PS I wasnt 100% sure where to put this so I put it in "drug culture"..if theres a more suiting place please do move it by all means..
Click to expand...
Hi TTZ234, there are a few veterans who post in The Dark Side so if you'd feel comfortable posting in there we'd love to hear from you.
 
Thanks for replying brother,I hope you have a safe deployment.. harassment fire TIC's was most prominently in our AO(RC-N) ,not to mention all the waiting for EOD/IEDD to clear our various routes..I will always have your back brother,that goes for all my brothers in arms former,future or active duty..
I hope once people understand that what they see on TV/cinema is pretty much BS..its a lot of waiting around..as much as 80-90% boredom I would dare say..
 
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yeah, there are a few of us here.

SGT(ret), USArmy, 63B2
03-08
Iraq
04-05 & 06-07

I was stationed in Mannheim & Stuttgart, Germany from '03-'06 as well.

Now I'm living in a State & VA-run "transitional" house for disabled/homeless veterans, and civilian hospice patients, or women's shelter cases.

There are 6 other OIF/OEF vets here with me, ages 22-42. The other 16 guys are vets from WW2 thru Vietnam.
Can you guess how many of us are still fighting the war, to some degree?
That'll tell you about how many of us have a close relationship with drugs and/or alcohol.

"It's just the old Army game, from here to eternity." 8)

Personally..... my proclivity for getting high is of much less concern than, say; not being able to use public transport; not being able to walk in a busy urban setting; and never having a place in the civilian world, or having anything in common with it again.
(Edit: not that I cared much about the last bit to begin with.)

Becoming a warrior isn't something that can be made to go away later..... and I offer a hearty fuck-off to the civilians & medical-types who think we should conform to their lifestyles/ideas, and label us as damaged-goods when we can't.

There's a reason why, in many cultures, their warriors formed a separate & distinct class/caste from the civilian sectors..... "reintegration" is complete bullshit, most especially for veterans of multiple conflicts & warfighting injuries.

So damn straight I self-medicate...... better that, than a state-sponsored thorazine-shuffle & permanent dependence on the government. That's how we're treated now; a whole generation of young, trained & proficient, highly visible, yet jobless soldiers are being turned loose on society.
And honestly, I get the feeling that medicating every veteran with "PTSD" is the only way our medical community & country can avoid embarrassment.... because otherwise they have no clue in what to do with us...... unless it involves finding another war to use our mad skills on.

8)
 
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Hi and thanks for your response brother...I was part of ISAF up in RC-N (PRT Meymaneh) back in 07/08 ..
Im glad that im not alone in my predicament,we need to stay together and provide support for eachother..if anyone ever needs to lend my ear..im right here..just PM me..
Thanks for your service everyone:)

former Sgt.(OR-5..thats the European E-5.MOS would correspond to 11Bravo or 11Bulletcatcher as many call it)

Can you guess how many of us are still fighting the war, to some degree?
Click to expand...
I still am so my guess would be most of us groundpounders?
Stay frosty and stay strong..
 
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@Ix: That's a great point, re: integration. Now, I'm coming at it from the civvie side, so as such have far less relevance, but I think that vets should have the option of re-integration or not. Signing up for life with no chance of returning to civilian life would be too much for many people, and would keep otherwise excellent soldiers/officers/etc... out of the forces, but if someone signs up for a tour they should have the option of living in a military environment back home.

While I know that we don't agree on the importance of the military, I think that we both agree in that those who sign up for it aught to be taken care of. Forever. There should be no such thing as an unemployed vet, or a homeless vet, or a vet without medical/psychological care. Period.

But anyway, this thread isn't about my opinions. Carry on, gentlemen. :)
 
TTZ234 said:
sure,should I make a duplicate thread? or just a thread linking to this one? or a brand new one?
EDIT:
Made a thread linking to this one..hope that is sufficent..?
Click to expand...
What I might do is just move this thread over to The Dark Side, if that's okay?
 
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Hey Dave,nobody said your opinions didnt count..good people died young for your right to express them..so feel free to participate by all means:)

As to your point,yes reintegration to civvie street can be a bitch,and clearly not everyone makes this transition well,me included...I have to admit though,that it was pretty comforting to know that theres more out there more or like like me,even if I kinda knew that,theres always the thoughts about you and your immediate circle being somewhat out of the norm,even if it flies in the face of logic,I guess its the pride in our profession/lifestyle that always were drilled into us from basic upwards,Upon my discharge and subsequent decent into the world of substance abuse I remember thinking I were living a terrible "secret" with my substance abuse in the beginning,I actually felt shame and that I had let my active duty comrades down..in the country I moved to(Norway) they seem to have kept a lid on this very problem.the politicians there wont even admit openly their participating in a war..
Until recently WIA's had to drag the military to court to receive something as funding to cover their medical bills..now finally this year,a kind of norwegian VA have been established(in 2011!!,after 10-15-20-30 years of contingents to ISAF/OEF/OIF/KFOR or even NORBATT back in Lebanon(even if the contingent to OIF was withdrawn a few years after OIF1) ...still the subject of substance abuse seem to be a convinially neglected topic for now here..(such is the state of veterans affairs in this particular western country).
 
Hey, welcome TTZ234. I am married to a Vietnam veteran (25 years this year). He lost his best friend to suicide (couldn't deal with the heroin addiction he picked up over there and hanged himself the very night my husband tried to talk him out of it.) Now, 40 years later we lost our son to his own internal combat. He overdosed in May. My husband has always said that the worst scars he has from the war are from what happened the minute he got "home". Back then the VA had nothing to offer him and he has stayed away all these years, very bitter. In desperation he went back to try to get some counseling after our son died and is now being treated for all sorts of conditions they have finally admitted were related to being sprayed with Agent Orange.

I hope you will find a home here in TDS. There are a lot of caring people here, all struggling along but shining with beauty right through it all.<3
 
Dave said:
I think that vets should have the option of re-integration or not. Signing up for life with no chance of returning to civilian life would be too much for many people, and would keep otherwise excellent soldiers/officers/etc... out of the forces, but if someone signs up for a tour they should have the option of living in a military environment back home.
Click to expand...

That's what many 'Nam vets did..... they opted-out, as there was no other choice. It was acceptable then, as it meant fewer dirty, fucked-up vets clogging the system. For the bureaucrats,, it was far easier & more desirable to just brush them under the rug & hide their dirty laundry.

This time is different. The internet alone makes it impossible for them to ignore us. Only this time, we no longer have a choice about opting-out of civilian life..... now we're wrong for not trying to reintegrate, and are treated like dangerous & unstable mental patients if we have problems rejoining society to their satisfaction.

Immediately after my first deployment, I reenlisted for the duration..... indefinite, 25+yrs is what I asked for. And I should be allowed to live the only way I know how, being that my military career & marriage got flushed down the shitter after getting hurt downrange. Instead, I have to damn near give head to every VA case-manager in town, just so I can locate simple health/food/shelter/job/education benefits...... actually getting them is a different thing altogether.

More guys than I care to remember killed themselves or destroyed their lives after the mental-health establishment got hold of them, than us guys who avoided their "therapy" like the plague.

At the VA hospitals, I have to refuse their attempts at giving me more opiates and/or benzos with every visit..... even though they had flagged me as a drug-seeker several years ago after I requested something like methadone or suboxone, and tested positive for THC (I smoke because my stomach is so fucked up constantly).
Yet VA docs gloss over the fact that it was the Army & VA who got me started on morphine to begin with when there were a lot of other options; that I repeatedly asked to be switched off of it; and that after kicking narcotics on my own, I refuse painkillers whenever offered.

But now, the VA docs will write recommendations for medical marijuana all day long in states with those laws. They're even doing limited trials with MDMA and veterans, for fuckssake.
But pot is all that I require to control my various pains & nightmares..... and it easily does the job that handfuls of expensive pills couldn't....
Unfortunately I don't qualify now, because of that one red-flag on my records.
How does that make any fucking sense?

My ex-father-in-law was a x2 'Nam vet..... and he died in 07 with throat/stomach cancer resulting from Agent Orange. He was so distrustful & angry towards the VA, and he wouldn't go in to get checked out until it was too late.
I completely sympathize...... personally, I despise the VA.
The last time I was in the VA hospital for medical reasons, was because I was so incoherent with pain, and I didn't realize my parents were taking me there until it was too late for me to combat-roll out of the car.
 
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All the hoopla and fanfare up front, then getting the most they can get out of you while you're there (whichever 'there' that is) and then jack-shit when you come home. I am hearing stories that they are denying any disability status for PTSD to vets these days if they were ever diagnosed with a mental "disorder" prior to enlistment and that includes ADD! Is that a myth or have you guys seen that?
 
Herbavore-
actually, a diagnosis of service-connected disability guarantees at least a 50% rating from the VA, and more than that from the Army.

A 30% or higher rating is needed for lifetime military healthcare and disability pension.
Instead..... I got a 20% rating for having my spine accordioned by an IED, and being medically discharged because of it. My free medical coverage from the VA runs out at the end of this year, 5yrs being the max for under 30%.
Oh, and a disability pension?
Pfft..... I'll start to get $250/month when I hit 55.

The thing is..... I never considered myself as having PTSD, as the medics define it. And I certainly wasn't going to fake-the-funk just to get more money for disability, or get out of my commitment..... as a LOT of yellow-bellied shitbags have been doing when they want to go home early.

And AFAIK, the military won't accept anyone with a preexisting mental condition, which started with the 2007 NICS Improvement Act (otherwise known as the Veterans Disarmament Act). This is why catching a PTSD diagnosis is a sure-ticket out of the military.

If I had claimed PTSD from the start, I'd be set for life now..... although I'd never be able to legally own or possess a firearm for the rest of it.
Funny..... convicted felons are treated the same way, except I can still legally vote. 8)
 
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