Sorry if this is too long. I'm new to this writing on the internet deal. Let me know if it is and I'll alter future posts accordingly.
My name is Roy Toddleston, but I'm a drunken drug user and stupidly forgot my password so now I'm Roy Toddy. If you happen to be interested, I posted my introduction info and (incorrectly) asked a question about adding a new addition to my drug repertoire in the introduction section.
I was impressed with the honest and courteous second response to that question. The first response didn't particularly bother me, but the second one, made by the same person, was what really impressed me. I've been reading this site as a creeper for quite some time because I'm not ready to die just yet and wanted to continue my deadly habits in the safest way possible. I completely support the idea of harm reduction. It's realistic and very likely saves lives.
However, drugs and alcohol are expensive and, given my current situation as a top student at a university, requires a lot of added effort like constant breath mints for alcohol breath and dishonest trips "to the bathroom" to use cocaine and heroin that I'd rather not deal with. Bear in mind I feel there's nothing wrong with using drugs and am totally fine with anyone else who does; I'm just tiring of all this extra work to hide it. It got me thinking about quitting entirely, so I stupidly reached out to a few true recovery groups. That was one of the worst ideas in my life!
Those people seem incompatible with my personality. I refuse to believe something simply because things might work out better if I do. I need an intelligent or, if not, at least persuasive argument to get me to stop. Though I've been using something or other my whole life, there were three times when I stopped drinking entirely - once for four years! Drinking has by far been the most destructive drug for me and I was happy with these times... the thing is, each time it just kind of happened. I never "tried" to do it. Recovery groups seem so damn fake with their "it works if you work it" that the little rebellious punk in my head makes me use twice as much as a result. I was banned from two online recovery sites and physically kicked out of A.A. a few years back.
Does anyone know of another way? I want someone to show me something that's better than a life of drugs, particularly alcohol. That's what happened all three times I stopped drinking - the first was Xanax (I lost the scrip now because tolerance led to continuous begging for increasing scrips); the second was college and constant weed smoking (I don't really consider weed a drug but I got busted and couldn't do it for a while because of piss testing); and the third was Adderall (I still have the scrip but I eat them like candy and it runs out two or three weeks early every month).
In each case, I was given an example of why it feels better NOT to drink... kind of like eating a Porterhouse and realizing hamburgers aren't as good as I thought they were. It's not that I want to stop everything. Xanax and Adderall are amazing, and weed was my lover until recently when it seemed to become too unpredictable to use.
I just feel like between money and lying antics, I'd like to be a little more normal. Instead, I just keep adding to the repertoire because dealers are just about the realest people I know - they want my money, don't care about much else and admit that to me. This is the type of honesty that gets through to me.
It's fine if no one does have an answer, but I figured at the least I could try once more here on this site of fellow users without having the rebel inside spark catastrophe because of bullshit responses.
I don't have self-control when it comes to sensual pleasure (quite the opposite of my self-discipline with academic work) so anything I have to "work" at to stop drinking and using cocaine will likely fail. But Xanax and Adderall showed me a better and far less destructive alternative to drinking that I can't argue with, and they do it without asking me to stop drinking in the first place.
I'm a pretty understanding guy and will have no hard feelings if I get no response. If I do, then all the better!
By the way, this is a wonderful website that has helped me understand the safest way to use long before I started writing on it. So Kudos to you.
My name is Roy Toddleston, but I'm a drunken drug user and stupidly forgot my password so now I'm Roy Toddy. If you happen to be interested, I posted my introduction info and (incorrectly) asked a question about adding a new addition to my drug repertoire in the introduction section.
I was impressed with the honest and courteous second response to that question. The first response didn't particularly bother me, but the second one, made by the same person, was what really impressed me. I've been reading this site as a creeper for quite some time because I'm not ready to die just yet and wanted to continue my deadly habits in the safest way possible. I completely support the idea of harm reduction. It's realistic and very likely saves lives.
However, drugs and alcohol are expensive and, given my current situation as a top student at a university, requires a lot of added effort like constant breath mints for alcohol breath and dishonest trips "to the bathroom" to use cocaine and heroin that I'd rather not deal with. Bear in mind I feel there's nothing wrong with using drugs and am totally fine with anyone else who does; I'm just tiring of all this extra work to hide it. It got me thinking about quitting entirely, so I stupidly reached out to a few true recovery groups. That was one of the worst ideas in my life!
Those people seem incompatible with my personality. I refuse to believe something simply because things might work out better if I do. I need an intelligent or, if not, at least persuasive argument to get me to stop. Though I've been using something or other my whole life, there were three times when I stopped drinking entirely - once for four years! Drinking has by far been the most destructive drug for me and I was happy with these times... the thing is, each time it just kind of happened. I never "tried" to do it. Recovery groups seem so damn fake with their "it works if you work it" that the little rebellious punk in my head makes me use twice as much as a result. I was banned from two online recovery sites and physically kicked out of A.A. a few years back.
Does anyone know of another way? I want someone to show me something that's better than a life of drugs, particularly alcohol. That's what happened all three times I stopped drinking - the first was Xanax (I lost the scrip now because tolerance led to continuous begging for increasing scrips); the second was college and constant weed smoking (I don't really consider weed a drug but I got busted and couldn't do it for a while because of piss testing); and the third was Adderall (I still have the scrip but I eat them like candy and it runs out two or three weeks early every month).
In each case, I was given an example of why it feels better NOT to drink... kind of like eating a Porterhouse and realizing hamburgers aren't as good as I thought they were. It's not that I want to stop everything. Xanax and Adderall are amazing, and weed was my lover until recently when it seemed to become too unpredictable to use.
I just feel like between money and lying antics, I'd like to be a little more normal. Instead, I just keep adding to the repertoire because dealers are just about the realest people I know - they want my money, don't care about much else and admit that to me. This is the type of honesty that gets through to me.
It's fine if no one does have an answer, but I figured at the least I could try once more here on this site of fellow users without having the rebel inside spark catastrophe because of bullshit responses.
I don't have self-control when it comes to sensual pleasure (quite the opposite of my self-discipline with academic work) so anything I have to "work" at to stop drinking and using cocaine will likely fail. But Xanax and Adderall showed me a better and far less destructive alternative to drinking that I can't argue with, and they do it without asking me to stop drinking in the first place.
I'm a pretty understanding guy and will have no hard feelings if I get no response. If I do, then all the better!
By the way, this is a wonderful website that has helped me understand the safest way to use long before I started writing on it. So Kudos to you.