Any hope on sober living support in the UK without 12 steps?

[THECATINTHEHAT]

As titled, I live in Bristol.

Think I might need counselling more than anything else, fuck knows what is going on with me.

 

[Maya]

^hi owen would you elaborate if you don't mind what you had bee struggling with?

This is probably a punch in the air but I have always worried about my health. My advice would be to think about how much healthier you will be if you are going to strive to stay clean. I have encountered some health issues and this made me snap out if it that I can no longer abuse drugs.

 

[THECATINTHEHAT]

Depressive and suicidal tendencies through my teens, heavy self harm
Heavy drug abuse (cannnabis) and drinking from a young age 11/12
Recreational drugs every weekend a young age (14/15) leaking into weekday use
Benzodiazepine abuse from 16
Ketamine abuse from 16, started using needles
Benzoziazepine and opiate addiction on and off from the ages of 20-26, still loads of other drugs too (injecting annything ketamine, diconal, loprazolam, amphetamine, cocaine)

I have tried NA, it just isn't for me. They helped me when I was low and showed me support but I can't live my life to their doctrine. I did two months rehab at the end of last year and was clean for the seven months following. Fallen back in to a cycle of cocaine/cannabis/crack/benzo/amphetamine abuse. For some reason a girl who I wasn't even in a relationship with (but we were fucking) has said she doesn't want to carry on seeing me and it's damaged me. Everything has gone wrong again.

I'm not totally fucked like I was before, I can shake off the drugs with a few sniffles. I just don't understand how I keep on ending up at the same place, lonely, struggling with drugs and desperately unhappy.

The health issues won't even stop me, I have no veins left, I can't feel my right thigh from some fucked up IM ages ago....

 

[neversickanymore]

Hey omen.. when you got out of rehab did you have a plan that you thought would allow you to live a peaceful life free from active addiction? If So what was it (only if you wana share it).. What are the circumstances of your life when you slipped back into use? What do you still feel you are getting from the drug use? What do you feel you miss out on by being clean?

Im sorry your are struggling with this again... returning to active use after getting clean is very common. We all struggle till we succeed. You can do this omen.

 

[Allein]

I used a service called Addaction, I was referred by my doctor but I think you can go direct, I'm not a Christian and the AA thing wasn't something I felt comfortable with.

At the time I was drinking heavily and had a serious benzo habit.

They were great non judgemental and no pressure to stop, just good counselling and support, not sure if they are in your area

http://www.addaction.org.uk/

 

[babylonboy]

Are you aware of the Bristol Drugs Project? AFAIK, they do very good work in your area. Good luck.x

 

[THECATINTHEHAT]

Yeah the BDP will be the first place I go when I get back to Bristol.

Just to make it clear I'm not hating on 12 steps and the fellowship in this thread, there are a very many good people that have done a very many good things for me in NA.

I just don't feel it is for me at the moment.

edit: Will be contacting addaction too, thanks. It is now clear there will be no 'shaking it off with a few sniffles', lovely bit of denial going on when I said that.

NSA: I'm not sure what to say really, i kind of had a plan and was staying in a safe place, but I went back to using through the temptation of hanging around with others that were using, and then I was off and running. I don't know what it is that I'm looking for from drugs if I'm honest. Part of me thinks I just like getting fucked up but my behaviour shows that I act in a different way to others who just like using drugs. I guess I'm back to thinking I can use successfully with certain drugs 8(, even though I always end up with my life going down the toilet and being very unhappy. As you can see, I'm very confused.

I feel that by staying sober I will miss out on relationships with many people I have known since I was tiny. Also, I like taking drugs, I wouldn't do it so much if I didn't! Even though it seems to give nothing to do me. I can see the point you are trying to make with your questions, in that I can not use and lose very little or use and lose an awful lot, but my brain still tells me I don't need to be 100% clean. I can have a little.

I know that for someone who has been trying for recovery on and off for two years this is real simple stuff that I should have worked out by now, but such is the nature of addiction I guess. Don't know where I'm going with this....just trying to be open and honest. Not sure if I'm willing at the moment though for 100% sobriety......as you can see I'm kind of going round in circles here.

 

[caseface99]

Not sure about whether or not they are in your area, but i know smart recovery and LifeRing can be very good alternatives to AA/NA as support groups, and while they have their own literature and work books they don't use the 12 steps.

Also, I always just like to point out that there is no "Doctrine" of AA/NA. There are suggestions, and people who have been through it before telling you their experience, what they did and what worked for them. Nothing more. No one will tell you what to do, they will suggest things that worked for them. The choice is yours, and if someone is giving orders instead of suggestions then they clearly aren't the right person to talk to and are full of shit.

ANYWAY, I hope you find a good alternative that works for you! I know they are out there, and I know you can do it if you put your heart into it. Stay positive!