Any help, insight, and opinion will be appreciated

[MD Specialist]

I've been in a relationship for almost 6 years. I love this girl and we have a lot of history together. We lived together for about 4 years. Recently I got the job offer of a lifetime and took it. Unfortunately I had to move across the country. She decided not to move with me and stay, to continue being near her family, friends, and career. We decided that after a year we would live together again. Once this decision was made things changed a bit. We are extremely supportive of each other and want each other to succeed. Only problem is my mentality and belief about myself, and me in a relationship is starting to evolve. Since this decision I've fucked up and had two pretty steamy make out sessions with different women. When before this I had never strayed from the relationship. At first I thought it was because of the other girl and how I felt a connection with them. Now I'm starting to realize that it is the internal battles within myself and where I'm at in life. I'm at a serious crossroad with big time decisions. Only problem is that this crossroad has no stop light, no street cop, not even a yield sign to direct me on the path. I'm going to be honest with her and let her know what has gone on. I just have no sense on what the next decision will be because I know whatever transpires from this decision will alter the course of my life in a major way. I didn't just cheat on my girlfriend, but I cheated on myself, and how I had previously believed on how the parameters of my life should be. I'm about to make one of the toughest decisions in my life, only problem is... I don't know what I want.

 

[llama112]

If you tell your girlfriend that you cheated on her, twice, then she probably won't forgive you.

If you aren't like 99% sure that you want your girlfriend after six years, you probably don't.

 

[Lysis]

You're probably lonely. Being apart sucks. Maybe it's just me and my ability to uproot myself anywhere and still keep my career, but I also find it odd that she wouldn't move. I understand wanting a career, but if you're in love you can move your career. Possibly even find something better than where you are. But, again, I'm pretty fortunate that everywhere I go, I will be able to find work, so maybe I just don't understand that part.

I'm wondering if maybe you're a bit upset that she wouldn't move. I would be terribly lonely in that situation too. Do you guys see each other at all? A year a part is rough.

My sister is married and her husband found a job about 4 hours away. Her job is really good and she makes good money. Right now, she drives to see him every weekend but they have never been apart until now. She admits she's lonely and it takes a toll.

 

[pofacedhoe]

sometimes people do bad things in order to get the other person to dump them when they know they haven't the guts to end it themselves. i've done this and i messed my head up so much

i would advise that you shut up about your indiscretions unless you want to kick yourself over and over IF she ends it because of the cheating

 

[Noodle]

agreed

I've noticed it is easier for people not be honest in situations like these, especially with themselves.

Your relationship is probably already over. Neither of you has accepted that.

 

[MD Specialist]

Woof... Not very easy to take that in. It does help though. Thank you. I am definitely lonely and we don't see each other very often since I left we've seen each other once. She is visiting for New Years for a couple days and I believe this will be a huge turning point for us.