Stimulants Any fellow members that have been exclusive IV meth users for a long time? If so, do you find it EXTREMELY hard to stay clean?

[couth77]

Hello everyone, I am just wondering if there are any of you out there who use meth via IV exclusively as your #1 DOC... This is my only DOC and has been for 23 years. When I first used via IV (which by the way, was and still ranks as the absolute worst decision I've ever made in my life by far), I saw no reason to ever make any effort to smoke or snort ever again.

The only positive that I take from that awful decision is the fact that it saved my teeth--well, I'm pretty sure anyway... 95% of my fellow tweakers who smoked for a couple decades have suffered at least some tooth rot..

Anyway... I am wondering, if in fact there are any other die hard meth 'IV league' members here--if so, do you find it hard to stop and stay clean for a good amount of time? Do you get imtense using dreams? Os that euphoria IV produces constantly somewhere in the back of your mind?

I have yet to find ONE fellow addict in the rooms of my local NA who has the same drug of choice as me AND it being their primary drug they used for at least a decent amount of time who has any admirable length of continuous clean time...and ive been searching! I didn't realize I was unique in that area..

I'm starting to think there are none.. I have found people that tried IV a couple half-ass times reluctantly and were scared to try it again.. That's different.. I think I read somewhere a long time ago that consistent IV meth users have a less than zero% success rate at getting and remaining clean... Thats a scary number!

I swear that once I adopted the IV route, my soul lost some light that day.. Light that has yet to return.. Like the claws of my addiction grew longer and stronger and not to mention a euphoria for which I have developed a deep craving that is much, much more intense and mentally-disruptive than the crave I had for the smoking or snorting high..

In fact-in regards to those routes, I remember being kinda frustrated that I hadn't switched sooner on the first day of IV-as if my first 4 years of meth use was such a waste smoking and snorting--thats how insignificant those routes immediately became to me, and I never bothered with them again.. (*****NOTE to readers: the purpose of the descriptive paragraph above is to aid in my attempts to paint a better picture for readers who can't relate.. It is NOT a glorification or celebration of the drug route and it's effects****)

Also, When I'm clean, I have nightmares that are extremely intense that start immediately and occur several times a month on a regular basis-even at 2 and a half years they were still a regular thing.. It's like my brain/soul whatever long for it more than anything else...

Which I can fully understand because I learned in rehab that meth can produce a 1,200% increase rush of dopamine. There were a few other substances for comparison of the dopamine release. They helped alot in assisting is in mentally grasping how truly alarming these dopamine levels can be...i doubt God ever intended us to exeriemce such a level of euphoria... If more people were able to wrap

The few others they had on this data chart were food/eating @275%, sex came in at I think 350%, cocaine was @425%, and heroine was around @350%... My jaw dropped when I saw these figures, but then it quickly dawmed on me and made perfect sense because having experienced the unbelievable but EVIL euphoric rush thousands of times, I agree with the comparisons on the chart .. Yup-even the best sex doesn't compare at all. (((****all readers please beware that my prior comment does not and CAN not glorify this route at all-ever-and in NO way am I promoting it. I know it may sound good, but my intention is to paint a picture for those who haven't experienced it... Facts-- my life became 10x more painful in every way because of IV meth and has been a constant battle that has caused legit suicide ideation.. Believe that shit*****)))

I also know that 1,200% release caused by meth is NOT attainable by smoking..
Anyway, my concern is I still struggle to this day with maintaining clean time. And I have ALOT to lose today unlike in my dark savage 20s when there was nothing..

Today, I work full time as a registered nurse-which requires me to be at no less than 100% for me to be successful in each shit-show day, and I'm kinda on thin ice for all the call ins I've had to do for recent relapses. I will NEVER go take care of patients while on meth.. It would be dangerous, and it feels like it might be a cardinal sin...

I never have an answer for my NA brothers when they ask me each time why i relapsed, and that makes me feel like less of a man each time.. And, being a college educated, street savvy well-rounded man, the embarrassment and shame along with not having a reason for using that comes with each relapse is slowly destroying me deep inside.

In NA, They don't like us suggesting that one drug is worse or more addicting than the other in some way or another-they are hard-set on one's disease of addiction and arresting it thru the steps.. I just sometimes feel like there's no damn way the guy in recovery for 25 years of smoking meth and whatever else he did experiemces the same longing for his highs..

Fuck I don't know, maybe I'm just calloused from the past 6 months of more frequent relapses and I'm reaching like hell for an answer... Well I promise you this--the disease inside me feels to have been on steroids for years now and is obviously the alpha to the clean drug-free part of me. Mr Hyde is consistently keeping Dr Jekyll beat down and far from in charge.

Anyone else struggle like this? Or can anyone relate to any part of anything in my message above? Please share with me anything you did or any suggestions you may have for me.. This seemingly self-destructive/self-sabbotaging behavior is worrying me and breaking me down... Ive come too far to have this bitch take me out now... Its the last thing I want...

Thanks in advance y'all-i'ma keep fighting all the way✌

 

[Atomic_Decay]

I went straight to IV when I started using stims at around age 18. Then for years and years after that I would only take drugs if I could inject them. Even with coke, I’d usually decline a social snort and if there was any around I’d secure enough to go bang it on my lonesome somewhere. I loved IV’ing, although I could often stop for months or even years at a time.

The only drug I had trouble stopping IV’ing with was meth. Even when I’d decided I really wanted to give myself a break for at least a few months, I’d find myself banging it again within 2-3 weeks at most usually. I’d also hit it up compulsively and redose every 3-4 hours on a binge.

Anyway, long story short, I decided one day to try smoking it and found I really enjoyed it that way and finally gave up the needle pretty much straight away after that. I still kept smoking it like a maniac for a fair while - but at least I wasn’t destroying myself so fast anymore. Eventually smoking became easier to cut down with and eventually quit for long periods.

Note that while I think there is truth in the dopamine theory of addiction, it’s not all there is to explaining why we do what we do. There are definitely things I find in life that are more pleasurable and rewarding, and meaningful, and enjoyable to me than meth (even if they release less dopamine). It’s true that they are not as efficient at getting me from miserable to happy as hitting the pipe or the needle is - they take a bit of work. But participation and activity and effort are part of the pleasure.

One thing I always found effective in getting over stim abuse was getting some healthy interests, especially exercise, and setting myself really tiny goals to achieve and gradually, day-by-day, moving my goal a little higher. Like maybe day 1 of comedown after a long binge, just get out of bed and walk around the block. Day 2 walk to the shops. Day three..etc etc. Setting, nailing, then increasing those goals every day does seem to re-train your dopamine/reward system to re-connect the dots between “effort” and “achievement’ and “pleasure” - which is what you need to function something like a normal person.

 

[pofacedhoe]

if its gonna affect your job then its not really under control

if it was under control you would do it at the start of a week off and recover during that week and then leave it there

amphetamines are kinda shitty in what they do to your everyday mood even with occasional use

they make ur normal life feel so boring which is really bad

 

[couth77]

if its gonna affect your job then its not really under control

if it was under control you would do it at the start of a week off and recover during that week and then leave it there

amphetamines are kinda shitty in what they do to your everyday mood even with occasional use

they make ur normal life feel so boring which is really bad

yeah I wouldn't say it's ever been under control. God I've maybe been able to pull off being a weekend warrior for 3 months or so like 17 years ago when I had to keep it in check because of my job at the time... The only thing that I have had under control at one time was my dosing amounts and times I studied like crazy and learned and retained all my personal data regarding every area of my using like thru experimenting-i learned exactly how much I needed to shoot to become cold blooded and feel no emotion at all so I could do jobs that would be too disturbing or awkward to do otherwise, also I learned when all adverse effects started thru my run w no sleep-like I start having auditory hallucinations half way thru day three, I know when tricky visual hallucinations start and whats kinda neat is most of those are still the same schedule today lol.. I liked knowing because it kept my feet on the ground and I could know when to stay out of public, and remain under the radar and stay efficient... And fuck yes.. Hopeless days are pretty god damned boring I agree... Thanks for the reply!

 

[Nas47]

Hello everyone, I am just wondering if there are any of you out there who use meth via IV exclusively as your #1 DOC... This is my only DOC and has been for 23 years. When I first used via IV (which by the way, was and still ranks as the absolute worst decision I've ever made in my life by far), I saw no reason to ever make any effort to smoke or snort ever again.

The only positive that I take from that awful decision is the fact that it saved my teeth--well, I'm pretty sure anyway... 95% of my fellow tweakers who smoked for a couple decades have suffered at least some tooth rot..

Anyway... I am wondering, if in fact there are any other die hard meth 'IV league' members here--if so, do you find it hard to stop and stay clean for a good amount of time? Do you get imtense using dreams? Os that euphoria IV produces constantly somewhere in the back of your mind?

I have yet to find ONE fellow addict in the rooms of my local NA who has the same drug of choice as me AND it being their primary drug they used for at least a decent amount of time who has any admirable length of continuous clean time...and ive been searching! I didn't realize I was unique in that area..

I'm starting to think there are none.. I have found people that tried IV a couple half-ass times reluctantly and were scared to try it again.. That's different.. I think I read somewhere a long time ago that consistent IV meth users have a less than zero% success rate at getting and remaining clean... Thats a scary number!

I swear that once I adopted the IV route, my soul lost some light that day.. Light that has yet to return.. Like the claws of my addiction grew longer and stronger and not to mention a euphoria for which I have developed a deep craving that is much, much more intense and mentally-disruptive than the crave I had for the smoking or snorting high..

In fact-in regards to those routes, I remember being kinda frustrated that I hadn't switched sooner on the first day of IV-as if my first 4 years of meth use was such a waste smoking and snorting--thats how insignificant those routes immediately became to me, and I never bothered with them again.. (*****NOTE to readers: the purpose of the descriptive paragraph above is to aid in my attempts to paint a better picture for readers who can't relate.. It is NOT a glorification or celebration of the drug route and it's effects****)

Also, When I'm clean, I have nightmares that are extremely intense that start immediately and occur several times a month on a regular basis-even at 2 and a half years they were still a regular thing.. It's like my brain/soul whatever long for it more than anything else...

Which I can fully understand because I learned in rehab that meth can produce a 1,200% increase rush of dopamine. There were a few other substances for comparison of the dopamine release. They helped alot in assisting is in mentally grasping how truly alarming these dopamine levels can be...i doubt God ever intended us to exeriemce such a level of euphoria... If more people were able to wrap

The few others they had on this data chart were food/eating @275%, sex came in at I think 350%, cocaine was @425%, and heroine was around @350%... My jaw dropped when I saw these figures, but then it quickly dawmed on me and made perfect sense because having experienced the unbelievable but EVIL euphoric rush thousands of times, I agree with the comparisons on the chart .. Yup-even the best sex doesn't compare at all. (((****all readers please beware that my prior comment does not and CAN not glorify this route at all-ever-and in NO way am I promoting it. I know it may sound good, but my intention is to paint a picture for those who haven't experienced it... Facts-- my life became 10x more painful in every way because of IV meth and has been a constant battle that has caused legit suicide ideation.. Believe that shit*****)))

I also know that 1,200% release caused by meth is NOT attainable by smoking..
Anyway, my concern is I still struggle to this day with maintaining clean time. And I have ALOT to lose today unlike in my dark savage 20s when there was nothing..

Today, I work full time as a registered nurse-which requires me to be at no less than 100% for me to be successful in each shit-show day, and I'm kinda on thin ice for all the call ins I've had to do for recent relapses. I will NEVER go take care of patients while on meth.. It would be dangerous, and it feels like it might be a cardinal sin...

I never have an answer for my NA brothers when they ask me each time why i relapsed, and that makes me feel like less of a man each time.. And, being a college educated, street savvy well-rounded man, the embarrassment and shame along with not having a reason for using that comes with each relapse is slowly destroying me deep inside.

In NA, They don't like us suggesting that one drug is worse or more addicting than the other in some way or another-they are hard-set on one's disease of addiction and arresting it thru the steps.. I just sometimes feel like there's no damn way the guy in recovery for 25 years of smoking meth and whatever else he did experiemces the same longing for his highs..

Fuck I don't know, maybe I'm just calloused from the past 6 months of more frequent relapses and I'm reaching like hell for an answer... Well I promise you this--the disease inside me feels to have been on steroids for years now and is obviously the alpha to the clean drug-free part of me. Mr Hyde is consistently keeping Dr Jekyll beat down and far from in charge.

Anyone else struggle like this? Or can anyone relate to any part of anything in my message above? Please share with me anything you did or any suggestions you may have for me.. This seemingly self-destructive/self-sabbotaging behavior is worrying me and breaking me down... Ive come too far to have this bitch take me out now... Its the last thing I want...

Thanks in advance y'all-i'ma keep fighting all the way✌

I have been regular user of this for a year.Doin about 250mg ..and it speed me two days.Then came the crash,which is a week absolute depression and irritability.In the moment i felt fine smoke again.Quickly become almost everyday...it was so easy to find,strong and pure.Going 15kilos down for an year.No oppie can do this to me.Never had psychosis...cause i simply cannot overabuse it so much.its so strong.....but may be i am always to downers quitt....and it was difficult mental in the begginig for real.But over the year lost the desire to use it.Thing that was more than a year,when somebody gives me a little.Not for me.But yes it will use it a little longer and likes upper it could be very hard to quitt.

 

[fromuponpoppyhill]

I went straight to IV when I started using stims at around age 18. Then for years and years after that I would only take drugs if I could inject them. Even with coke, I’d usually decline a social snort and if there was any around I’d secure enough to go bang it on my lonesome somewhere. I loved IV’ing, although I could often stop for months or even years at a time.

The only drug I had trouble stopping IV’ing with was meth. Even when I’d decided I really wanted to give myself a break for at least a few months, I’d find myself banging it again within 2-3 weeks at most usually. I’d also hit it up compulsively and redose every 3-4 hours on a binge.

Anyway, long story short, I decided one day to try smoking it and found I really enjoyed it that way and finally gave up the needle pretty much straight away after that. I still kept smoking it like a maniac for a fair while - but at least I wasn’t destroying myself so fast anymore. Eventually smoking became easier to cut down with and eventually quit for long periods.

Note that while I think there is truth in the dopamine theory of addiction, it’s not all there is to explaining why we do what we do. There are definitely things I find in life that are more pleasurable and rewarding, and meaningful, and enjoyable to me than meth (even if they release less dopamine). It’s true that they are not as efficient at getting me from miserable to happy as hitting the pipe or the needle is - they take a bit of work. But participation and activity and effort are part of the pleasure.

One thing I always found effective in getting over stim abuse was getting some healthy interests, especially exercise, and setting myself really tiny goals to achieve and gradually, day-by-day, moving my goal a little higher. Like maybe day 1 of comedown after a long binge, just get out of bed and walk around the block. Day 2 walk to the shops. Day three..etc etc. Setting, nailing, then increasing those goals every day does seem to re-train your dopamine/reward system to re-connect the dots between “effort” and “achievement’ and “pleasure” - which is what you need to function something like a normal person.

In my experience that last paragraph is great advice for a lot of addictive behaviours (drugs or something else, even), and managing conditions like ADHD, things that have generally fucked with your reward system - once you can break through that initial inertia and get the ball rolling, small and achievable goals are consistently rewarding and while it's not a silver bullet, it helps a ton. Obviously it's very different, but this kind of "building blocks" approach was one of the things that helped me kick cigs after smoking for most of my life. Exercise plus that mentality was incredibly helpful.

From speaking to people who have struggled with IV meth use, keeping busy and being open and honest with those close to you is incredibly important.

I really feel for you, reading your story. Nurses are so underappreciated and overworked, so thanks for continuing to help people in that way. I hope that soon you'll be able to take care of yourself as well as others.

 

[tweakerguy]

Hello everyone, I am just wondering if there are any of you out there who use meth via IV exclusively as your #1 DOC... This is my only DOC and has been for 23 years. When I first used via IV (which by the way, was and still ranks as the absolute worst decision I've ever made in my life by far), I saw no reason to ever make any effort to smoke or snort ever again.

The only positive that I take from that awful decision is the fact that it saved my teeth--well, I'm pretty sure anyway... 95% of my fellow tweakers who smoked for a couple decades have suffered at least some tooth rot..

Anyway... I am wondering, if in fact there are any other die hard meth 'IV league' members here--if so, do you find it hard to stop and stay clean for a good amount of time? Do you get imtense using dreams? Os that euphoria IV produces constantly somewhere in the back of your mind?

I have yet to find ONE fellow addict in the rooms of my local NA who has the same drug of choice as me AND it being their primary drug they used for at least a decent amount of time who has any admirable length of continuous clean time...and ive been searching! I didn't realize I was unique in that area..

I'm starting to think there are none.. I have found people that tried IV a couple half-ass times reluctantly and were scared to try it again.. That's different.. I think I read somewhere a long time ago that consistent IV meth users have a less than zero% success rate at getting and remaining clean... Thats a scary number!

I swear that once I adopted the IV route, my soul lost some light that day.. Light that has yet to return.. Like the claws of my addiction grew longer and stronger and not to mention a euphoria for which I have developed a deep craving that is much, much more intense and mentally-disruptive than the crave I had for the smoking or snorting high..

In fact-in regards to those routes, I remember being kinda frustrated that I hadn't switched sooner on the first day of IV-as if my first 4 years of meth use was such a waste smoking and snorting--thats how insignificant those routes immediately became to me, and I never bothered with them again.. (*****NOTE to readers: the purpose of the descriptive paragraph above is to aid in my attempts to paint a better picture for readers who can't relate.. It is NOT a glorification or celebration of the drug route and it's effects****)

Also, When I'm clean, I have nightmares that are extremely intense that start immediately and occur several times a month on a regular basis-even at 2 and a half years they were still a regular thing.. It's like my brain/soul whatever long for it more than anything else...

Which I can fully understand because I learned in rehab that meth can produce a 1,200% increase rush of dopamine. There were a few other substances for comparison of the dopamine release. They helped alot in assisting is in mentally grasping how truly alarming these dopamine levels can be...i doubt God ever intended us to exeriemce such a level of euphoria... If more people were able to wrap

The few others they had on this data chart were food/eating @275%, sex came in at I think 350%, cocaine was @425%, and heroine was around @350%... My jaw dropped when I saw these figures, but then it quickly dawmed on me and made perfect sense because having experienced the unbelievable but EVIL euphoric rush thousands of times, I agree with the comparisons on the chart .. Yup-even the best sex doesn't compare at all. (((****all readers please beware that my prior comment does not and CAN not glorify this route at all-ever-and in NO way am I promoting it. I know it may sound good, but my intention is to paint a picture for those who haven't experienced it... Facts-- my life became 10x more painful in every way because of IV meth and has been a constant battle that has caused legit suicide ideation.. Believe that shit*****)))

I also know that 1,200% release caused by meth is NOT attainable by smoking..
Anyway, my concern is I still struggle to this day with maintaining clean time. And I have ALOT to lose today unlike in my dark savage 20s when there was nothing..

Today, I work full time as a registered nurse-which requires me to be at no less than 100% for me to be successful in each shit-show day, and I'm kinda on thin ice for all the call ins I've had to do for recent relapses. I will NEVER go take care of patients while on meth.. It would be dangerous, and it feels like it might be a cardinal sin...

I never have an answer for my NA brothers when they ask me each time why i relapsed, and that makes me feel like less of a man each time.. And, being a college educated, street savvy well-rounded man, the embarrassment and shame along with not having a reason for using that comes with each relapse is slowly destroying me deep inside.

In NA, They don't like us suggesting that one drug is worse or more addicting than the other in some way or another-they are hard-set on one's disease of addiction and arresting it thru the steps.. I just sometimes feel like there's no damn way the guy in recovery for 25 years of smoking meth and whatever else he did experiemces the same longing for his highs..

Fuck I don't know, maybe I'm just calloused from the past 6 months of more frequent relapses and I'm reaching like hell for an answer... Well I promise you this--the disease inside me feels to have been on steroids for years now and is obviously the alpha to the clean drug-free part of me. Mr Hyde is consistently keeping Dr Jekyll beat down and far from in charge.

Anyone else struggle like this? Or can anyone relate to any part of anything in my message above? Please share with me anything you did or any suggestions you may have for me.. This seemingly self-destructive/self-sabbotaging behavior is worrying me and breaking me down... Ive come too far to have this bitch take me out now... Its the last thing I want...

Thanks in advance y'all-i'ma keep fighting all the way✌

In an otherwise healthy individual who isn't on any other psyche meds, all the ROAs are going to get you the same effect, it's just a question of how fast do you want to get there.
The glowing euphoria we all want is the result of an over-stimulated central nervous system from that initial release of basically your entire supply of dopamine in a matter of minutes. The drug then continues to work (for hours and hours) by denying your brain's re-uptake response, (basically like what an antidepressant does with serotonin, but at very unnatural amounts by comparison; and dopamine becomes neuro-toxic in large sustained amounts) essentially leaving all of these chemicals floating around your brain. Alterations in the neuro-pathways around your frontal lobe are a big part of why this drug is so difficult to actually STAY off of, long term.

The biggest deciding factor in how hard it will be for a person to stay clean, I believe has more to do with the activities they engage in while high. The reinforcing effect of these memories and how the drug intertwines with them making them indistinguishable from one another means you're basically setting up booby traps in your own house.

 

[Nas47]

In an otherwise healthy individual who isn't on any other psyche meds, all the ROAs are going to get you the same effect, it's just a question of how fast do you want to get there.
The glowing euphoria we all want is the result of an over-stimulated central nervous system from that initial release of basically your entire supply of dopamine in a matter of minutes. The drug then continues to work (for hours and hours) by denying your brain's re-uptake response, (basically like what an antidepressant does with serotonin, but at very unnatural amounts by comparison; and dopamine becomes neuro-toxic in large sustained amounts) essentially leaving all of these chemicals floating around your brain. Alterations in the neuro-pathways around your frontal lobe are a big part of why this drug is so difficult to actually STAY off of, long term.

Its visible from postmortem examines the substantia nigra is diminished from basal ganglia.Something that is typicall from desease like Parkinson.So meth in neurotoxic.Something that is better to stay away.Same with oppies,but thats another kind of story

 

[Nas47]

Hello everyone, I am just wondering if there are any of you out there who use meth via IV exclusively as your #1 DOC... This is my only DOC and has been for 23 years. When I first used via IV (which by the way, was and still ranks as the absolute worst decision I've ever made in my life by far), I saw no reason to ever make any effort to smoke or snort ever again.

The only positive that I take from that awful decision is the fact that it saved my teeth--well, I'm pretty sure anyway... 95% of my fellow tweakers who smoked for a couple decades have suffered at least some tooth rot..

Anyway... I am wondering, if in fact there are any other die hard meth 'IV league' members here--if so, do you find it hard to stop and stay clean for a good amount of time? Do you get imtense using dreams? Os that euphoria IV produces constantly somewhere in the back of your mind?

I have yet to find ONE fellow addict in the rooms of my local NA who has the same drug of choice as me AND it being their primary drug they used for at least a decent amount of time who has any admirable length of continuous clean time...and ive been searching! I didn't realize I was unique in that area..

I'm starting to think there are none.. I have found people that tried IV a couple half-ass times reluctantly and were scared to try it again.. That's different.. I think I read somewhere a long time ago that consistent IV meth users have a less than zero% success rate at getting and remaining clean... Thats a scary number!

I swear that once I adopted the IV route, my soul lost some light that day.. Light that has yet to return.. Like the claws of my addiction grew longer and stronger and not to mention a euphoria for which I have developed a deep craving that is much, much more intense and mentally-disruptive than the crave I had for the smoking or snorting high..

In fact-in regards to those routes, I remember being kinda frustrated that I hadn't switched sooner on the first day of IV-as if my first 4 years of meth use was such a waste smoking and snorting--thats how insignificant those routes immediately became to me, and I never bothered with them again.. (*****NOTE to readers: the purpose of the descriptive paragraph above is to aid in my attempts to paint a better picture for readers who can't relate.. It is NOT a glorification or celebration of the drug route and it's effects****)

Also, When I'm clean, I have nightmares that are extremely intense that start immediately and occur several times a month on a regular basis-even at 2 and a half years they were still a regular thing.. It's like my brain/soul whatever long for it more than anything else...

Which I can fully understand because I learned in rehab that meth can produce a 1,200% increase rush of dopamine. There were a few other substances for comparison of the dopamine release. They helped alot in assisting is in mentally grasping how truly alarming these dopamine levels can be...i doubt God ever intended us to exeriemce such a level of euphoria... If more people were able to wrap

The few others they had on this data chart were food/eating @275%, sex came in at I think 350%, cocaine was @425%, and heroine was around @350%... My jaw dropped when I saw these figures, but then it quickly dawmed on me and made perfect sense because having experienced the unbelievable but EVIL euphoric rush thousands of times, I agree with the comparisons on the chart .. Yup-even the best sex doesn't compare at all. (((****all readers please beware that my prior comment does not and CAN not glorify this route at all-ever-and in NO way am I promoting it. I know it may sound good, but my intention is to paint a picture for those who haven't experienced it... Facts-- my life became 10x more painful in every way because of IV meth and has been a constant battle that has caused legit suicide ideation.. Believe that shit*****)))

I also know that 1,200% release caused by meth is NOT attainable by smoking..
Anyway, my concern is I still struggle to this day with maintaining clean time. And I have ALOT to lose today unlike in my dark savage 20s when there was nothing..

Today, I work full time as a registered nurse-which requires me to be at no less than 100% for me to be successful in each shit-show day, and I'm kinda on thin ice for all the call ins I've had to do for recent relapses. I will NEVER go take care of patients while on meth.. It would be dangerous, and it feels like it might be a cardinal sin...

I never have an answer for my NA brothers when they ask me each time why i relapsed, and that makes me feel like less of a man each time.. And, being a college educated, street savvy well-rounded man, the embarrassment and shame along with not having a reason for using that comes with each relapse is slowly destroying me deep inside.

In NA, They don't like us suggesting that one drug is worse or more addicting than the other in some way or another-they are hard-set on one's disease of addiction and arresting it thru the steps.. I just sometimes feel like there's no damn way the guy in recovery for 25 years of smoking meth and whatever else he did experiemces the same longing for his highs..

Fuck I don't know, maybe I'm just calloused from the past 6 months of more frequent relapses and I'm reaching like hell for an answer... Well I promise you this--the disease inside me feels to have been on steroids for years now and is obviously the alpha to the clean drug-free part of me. Mr Hyde is consistently keeping Dr Jekyll beat down and far from in charge.

Anyone else struggle like this? Or can anyone relate to any part of anything in my message above? Please share with me anything you did or any suggestions you may have for me.. This seemingly self-destructive/self-sabbotaging behavior is worrying me and breaking me down... Ive come too far to have this bitch take me out now... Its the last thing I want...

Thanks in advance y'all-i'ma keep fighting all the way✌

Its a wonderful. Post too!

 

[Kimi#4321]

Hello everyone, I am just wondering if there are any of you out there who use meth via IV exclusively as your #1 DOC... This is my only DOC and has been for 23 years. When I first used via IV (which by the way, was and still ranks as the absolute worst decision I've ever made in my life by far), I saw no reason to ever make any effort to smoke or snort ever again.

The only positive that I take from that awful decision is the fact that it saved my teeth--well, I'm pretty sure anyway... 95% of my fellow tweakers who smoked for a couple decades have suffered at least some tooth rot..

Anyway... I am wondering, if in fact there are any other die hard meth 'IV league' members here--if so, do you find it hard to stop and stay clean for a good amount of time? Do you get imtense using dreams? Os that euphoria IV produces constantly somewhere in the back of your mind?

I have yet to find ONE fellow addict in the rooms of my local NA who has the same drug of choice as me AND it being their primary drug they used for at least a decent amount of time who has any admirable length of continuous clean time...and ive been searching! I didn't realize I was unique in that area..

I'm starting to think there are none.. I have found people that tried IV a couple half-ass times reluctantly and were scared to try it again.. That's different.. I think I read somewhere a long time ago that consistent IV meth users have a less than zero% success rate at getting and remaining clean... Thats a scary number!

I swear that once I adopted the IV route, my soul lost some light that day.. Light that has yet to return.. Like the claws of my addiction grew longer and stronger and not to mention a euphoria for which I have developed a deep craving that is much, much more intense and mentally-disruptive than the crave I had for the smoking or snorting high..

In fact-in regards to those routes, I remember being kinda frustrated that I hadn't switched sooner on the first day of IV-as if my first 4 years of meth use was such a waste smoking and snorting--thats how insignificant those routes immediately became to me, and I never bothered with them again.. (*****NOTE to readers: the purpose of the descriptive paragraph above is to aid in my attempts to paint a better picture for readers who can't relate.. It is NOT a glorification or celebration of the drug route and it's effects****)

Also, When I'm clean, I have nightmares that are extremely intense that start immediately and occur several times a month on a regular basis-even at 2 and a half years they were still a regular thing.. It's like my brain/soul whatever long for it more than anything else...

Which I can fully understand because I learned in rehab that meth can produce a 1,200% increase rush of dopamine. There were a few other substances for comparison of the dopamine release. They helped alot in assisting is in mentally grasping how truly alarming these dopamine levels can be...i doubt God ever intended us to exeriemce such a level of euphoria... If more people were able to wrap

The few others they had on this data chart were food/eating @275%, sex came in at I think 350%, cocaine was @425%, and heroine was around @350%... My jaw dropped when I saw these figures, but then it quickly dawmed on me and made perfect sense because having experienced the unbelievable but EVIL euphoric rush thousands of times, I agree with the comparisons on the chart .. Yup-even the best sex doesn't compare at all. (((****all readers please beware that my prior comment does not and CAN not glorify this route at all-ever-and in NO way am I promoting it. I know it may sound good, but my intention is to paint a picture for those who haven't experienced it... Facts-- my life became 10x more painful in every way because of IV meth and has been a constant battle that has caused legit suicide ideation.. Believe that shit*****)))

I also know that 1,200% release caused by meth is NOT attainable by smoking..
Anyway, my concern is I still struggle to this day with maintaining clean time. And I have ALOT to lose today unlike in my dark savage 20s when there was nothing..

Today, I work full time as a registered nurse-which requires me to be at no less than 100% for me to be successful in each shit-show day, and I'm kinda on thin ice for all the call ins I've had to do for recent relapses. I will NEVER go take care of patients while on meth.. It would be dangerous, and it feels like it might be a cardinal sin...

I never have an answer for my NA brothers when they ask me each time why i relapsed, and that makes me feel like less of a man each time.. And, being a college educated, street savvy well-rounded man, the embarrassment and shame along with not having a reason for using that comes with each relapse is slowly destroying me deep inside.

In NA, They don't like us suggesting that one drug is worse or more addicting than the other in some way or another-they are hard-set on one's disease of addiction and arresting it thru the steps.. I just sometimes feel like there's no damn way the guy in recovery for 25 years of smoking meth and whatever else he did experiemces the same longing for his highs..

Fuck I don't know, maybe I'm just calloused from the past 6 months of more frequent relapses and I'm reaching like hell for an answer... Well I promise you this--the disease inside me feels to have been on steroids for years now and is obviously the alpha to the clean drug-free part of me. Mr Hyde is consistently keeping Dr Jekyll beat down and far from in charge.

Anyone else struggle like this? Or can anyone relate to any part of anything in my message above? Please share with me anything you did or any suggestions you may have for me.. This seemingly self-destructive/self-sabbotaging behavior is worrying me and breaking me down... Ive come too far to have this bitch take me out now... Its the last thing I want...

Thanks in advance y'all-i'ma keep fighting all the way✌

I started at 13 and am now almost 35 with only a few years here and there. My younger days where crazy , but as I got older it's as if my beginning is like most people's ends and we'll where I am now is like most beginners minus many veins. Once started I found no other reason to do it any other way. Also only drug besides nicotine. I wish I could get clean though. I'm don't have much in way of advice just wanted you to know your not the one i just can't seem to get clean but for a day or two. Also within 24 I to have very vivid nightmares and I sleep every night, but only on nights I'm clean do they come. Keep up the fight. That zero statistic is very defeating to read iv come sit far to let this shit take me out. Seems like youv got a better chance don't let it win.

 

[molassesfats]

Been shooting every day of my life for 7 years now. The longest break I've taken was 2 months, maybe a month 2 or 3 other times. I don't see it as a failure that I started using again—i try to just be grateful for the tolerance break and be proud of my myself for getting some good rest.

I have a job, I pay my rent and my bills, I do outreach in my community. These are hoops I'm willing and able to jump through at the moment, but I wouldn't confuse them with functionailty. The concept of the 'functional drug user' is very unfair to anyone who can't or isn't interested in jumping through the hoops white America considers synonymous with functionality. My meth use is manageable because I say so. You are the expert in your own life too.

I used to be homeless and used in ways that felt chaotic. then through chance and privelege had an opportunity to become housed. I was no longer dealing with the threats that came with being unhoused, and thus it followed that my needs were vastly different. I also had running water which meant my injection practices suddenly were much safer. My meth use never stopped: my chaotic living situation did. Today, my use looks nothing like it used to, and I'm proud of how much better I take care of myself now. Abstinence is not the only form recovery can take. Don't let NA make you feel otherwise.

In my experience people actually usually have very reasonable reactions to unreasonable conditions. Meth use may be part of that reaction, but nothing about meth is inherently more dangerous somehow than other closely related substances like Adderall, etc. It's just that relegating substances to the black market via prohibition creates more risk due to the door being wide open for adulterants, not to mention criminalization and stigma restricting access to positions and services that keep us alive, employed, housed, etc

 

[Nas47]

Fuck...thebsituation now is the last think for uppers.Even with valium and bupre sleeping badly.The quick finished this the best for all.God bless!

 

[LittleBabyGhost]

Hello everyone, I am just wondering if there are any of you out there who use meth via IV exclusively as your #1 DOC... This is my only DOC and has been for 23 years. When I first used via IV (which by the way, was and still ranks as the absolute worst decision I've ever made in my life by far), I saw no reason to ever make any effort to smoke or snort ever again.

The only positive that I take from that awful decision is the fact that it saved my teeth--well, I'm pretty sure anyway... 95% of my fellow tweakers who smoked for a couple decades have suffered at least some tooth rot..

Anyway... I am wondering, if in fact there are any other die hard meth 'IV league' members here--if so, do you find it hard to stop and stay clean for a good amount of time? Do you get imtense using dreams? Os that euphoria IV produces constantly somewhere in the back of your mind?

I have yet to find ONE fellow addict in the rooms of my local NA who has the same drug of choice as me AND it being their primary drug they used for at least a decent amount of time who has any admirable length of continuous clean time...and ive been searching! I didn't realize I was unique in that area..

I'm starting to think there are none.. I have found people that tried IV a couple half-ass times reluctantly and were scared to try it again.. That's different.. I think I read somewhere a long time ago that consistent IV meth users have a less than zero% success rate at getting and remaining clean... Thats a scary number!

I swear that once I adopted the IV route, my soul lost some light that day.. Light that has yet to return.. Like the claws of my addiction grew longer and stronger and not to mention a euphoria for which I have developed a deep craving that is much, much more intense and mentally-disruptive than the crave I had for the smoking or snorting high..

In fact-in regards to those routes, I remember being kinda frustrated that I hadn't switched sooner on the first day of IV-as if my first 4 years of meth use was such a waste smoking and snorting--thats how insignificant those routes immediately became to me, and I never bothered with them again.. (*****NOTE to readers: the purpose of the descriptive paragraph above is to aid in my attempts to paint a better picture for readers who can't relate.. It is NOT a glorification or celebration of the drug route and it's effects****)

Also, When I'm clean, I have nightmares that are extremely intense that start immediately and occur several times a month on a regular basis-even at 2 and a half years they were still a regular thing.. It's like my brain/soul whatever long for it more than anything else...

Which I can fully understand because I learned in rehab that meth can produce a 1,200% increase rush of dopamine. There were a few other substances for comparison of the dopamine release. They helped alot in assisting is in mentally grasping how truly alarming these dopamine levels can be...i doubt God ever intended us to exeriemce such a level of euphoria... If more people were able to wrap

The few others they had on this data chart were food/eating @275%, sex came in at I think 350%, cocaine was @425%, and heroine was around @350%... My jaw dropped when I saw these figures, but then it quickly dawmed on me and made perfect sense because having experienced the unbelievable but EVIL euphoric rush thousands of times, I agree with the comparisons on the chart .. Yup-even the best sex doesn't compare at all. (((****all readers please beware that my prior comment does not and CAN not glorify this route at all-ever-and in NO way am I promoting it. I know it may sound good, but my intention is to paint a picture for those who haven't experienced it... Facts-- my life became 10x more painful in every way because of IV meth and has been a constant battle that has caused legit suicide ideation.. Believe that shit*****)))

I also know that 1,200% release caused by meth is NOT attainable by smoking..
Anyway, my concern is I still struggle to this day with maintaining clean time. And I have ALOT to lose today unlike in my dark savage 20s when there was nothing..

Today, I work full time as a registered nurse-which requires me to be at no less than 100% for me to be successful in each shit-show day, and I'm kinda on thin ice for all the call ins I've had to do for recent relapses. I will NEVER go take care of patients while on meth.. It would be dangerous, and it feels like it might be a cardinal sin...

I never have an answer for my NA brothers when they ask me each time why i relapsed, and that makes me feel like less of a man each time.. And, being a college educated, street savvy well-rounded man, the embarrassment and shame along with not having a reason for using that comes with each relapse is slowly destroying me deep inside.

In NA, They don't like us suggesting that one drug is worse or more addicting than the other in some way or another-they are hard-set on one's disease of addiction and arresting it thru the steps.. I just sometimes feel like there's no damn way the guy in recovery for 25 years of smoking meth and whatever else he did experiemces the same longing for his highs..

Fuck I don't know, maybe I'm just calloused from the past 6 months of more frequent relapses and I'm reaching like hell for an answer... Well I promise you this--the disease inside me feels to have been on steroids for years now and is obviously the alpha to the clean drug-free part of me. Mr Hyde is consistently keeping Dr Jekyll beat down and far from in charge.

Anyone else struggle like this? Or can anyone relate to any part of anything in my message above? Please share with me anything you did or any suggestions you may have for me.. This seemingly self-destructive/self-sabbotaging behavior is worrying me and breaking me down... Ive come too far to have this bitch take me out now... Its the last thing I want...

Thanks in advance y'all-i'ma keep

This is my DOC and the only thing that keeps me craving like crazy, I only can use it if I IV it, but I did go 6 years clean, but now here I am lol so I guess you’re right.

 

[Eligiu]

I don't know if meth IV is the hardest addiction to break. I know a lot of research has been done on polysubstance users and they have an even smaller chance of maintaining sobriety and that's been true enough for me. I went to rehab in 2017, but I've barely been able to string more than 6 months here and there together without slipping up on one drug or another at some stage because I don't really have a preference it just comes down to what is injectable and what is available. I'm on maintainance therapy right now, so I'll shoot up meth despite not even particularly enjoying or getting much out of the drug.

I do control my use, and I'm no where near in the same position I used to be with in when it was completely destroying my life, but I do wish I could give it up. Perhaps it's not yet to be. I only stopped because my friends wanted me to last time, and I've really lost that motivation since one of those friendships ended because I was only really doing it for them, not me. I lack the self esteem to care enough about myself that I shoot up drugs unfortunately.

 

[Nas47]

My ROA thousand years ago was i.v.....from long time is only p.o.(inhale with weed).If i got good stuff....like H-always would prefer snortin' or smoking.I.viing is no more option for me from a long time('cause a couple of reasons)....it even scares me.If i got vials-muscle shot would be the way

 

[OpiateKiller]

IV meth is incredibly damaging to brain function. I'm surprised you can even think straight. I've done it maybe 30 times and everytime is a shit show . God bless you for being alive and cognitive.

 

[OpiateKiller]

Cocaine IV and Crack has to be the hardest addiction to break in my recent opinion. Opioids pale in comparison to the cravings I get sober to shoot cocaine.

 

[Cdurules]

Been shooting every day of my life for 7 years now. The longest break I've taken was 2 months, maybe a month 2 or 3 other times. I don't see it as a failure that I started using again—i try to just be grateful for the tolerance break and be proud of my myself for getting some good rest.

I have a job, I pay my rent and my bills, I do outreach in my community. These are hoops I'm willing and able to jump through at the moment, but I wouldn't confuse them with functionailty. The concept of the 'functional drug user' is very unfair to anyone who can't or isn't interested in jumping through the hoops white America considers synonymous with functionality. My meth use is manageable because I say so. You are the expert in your own life too.

I used to be homeless and used in ways that felt chaotic. then through chance and privelege had an opportunity to become housed. I was no longer dealing with the threats that came with being unhoused, and thus it followed that my needs were vastly different. I also had running water which meant my injection practices suddenly were much safer. My meth use never stopped: my chaotic living situation did. Today, my use looks nothing like it used to, and I'm proud of how much better I take care of myself now. Abstinence is not the only form recovery can take. Don't let NA make you feel otherwise.

In my experience people actually usually have very reasonable reactions to unreasonable conditions. Meth use may be part of that reaction, but nothing about meth is inherently more dangerous somehow than other closely related substances like Adderall, etc. It's just that relegating substances to the black market via prohibition creates more risk due to the door being wide open for adulterants, not to mention criminalization and stigma restricting access to positions and services that keep us alive, employed, housed, etc

I was IV heroin in my 20-30s. Love of my life. Got real nasty, selling myself, hospitalized with rhabdo, sepsis, all alone just so dark. Then I got clean for 3 years. Got married and had a baby. Drugs came back in innocently enough. I started with IV meth two years ago, with 9 months in between for rehab, n/a, and honestly every goddamn mindfulness and coping skill bullshit there is. I always mean it when I try to get clean. Relapsed with adderall (first love of my life) cuz my weight crept back up. I’m only happy when I’m skeletal. Back on meth now. Blowing through so much money. I hate myself and who I am when I put meth before everything else. I fucking hated N/A. I went balls to the wall made it to step 4. Idk what to do either. I have a chance if I change NOW to have a happy life, to stop the cycle of addiction with my son, to not die in that dark space. But I just keep using.

 

[Juniper Bruhmomentius]

Incredible hard psychological addiction to break. Ive shot meth maybe 5 times since its mostly amph here but daaaaam, meth can truly become a hell of an addiction especially after the tolerance starts increasing which amphetamine has way less.

 

[mcflurry]

sending u all my love! ive been on iv meth for about 7 years now and it has taken nearly everything from me. ive tried my hardest to stay clean for more than 6-7 months but i keep relapsing each and every time. i am considering suicide, not now tho, but if my situation doesnt improve over the next 5 years, i will probably end my life because of it.