DRINKWATEREATWELL
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Jan 17, 2013
- Messages
- 1
Hello! My first post on BL and I want to say quickly that I have been through quite a crazy last couple months and reading posts on here truly helped me through it!
Goal of thread: To help people like myself who were overdoing it and then finally had a very bad overdose which caused short term/long term effects on their mental/physical health. (Issues such as anxiety, severe depression, generally scared I ruined my brain, slow, ungrounded..etc)
Ill start by mentioning: Im 6'4 200, very active, happy, healthy, extremely sporty, in school, driven, 20 yr old.
So its halloween 2012. I head out to a popular party city in canada to meet up with a girl i had been seeing for a while. Our goal was to do mdma for concert and have some fun! She had been in my city up to 2 weeks before halloween until she moved, and over the course of 2012 we had done maybe 7 nights of MDMA, 12 nose candy nights. All fun times, never a bad comedown (except for one night that turned to day with blow).
We head to drink at a friends hotel room and I will start a rough outline of what events occured:
1030pm: Drop 1 cap of M
1035-11:20: Roughly 6 lines of blow while drinking moderatly
11:30: heading to the concert, dont feel M yet (our normal dealer doesnt live in this city) so we drop a second cap of M
11:50: in the concert (flosstradamus incase you were all wondering) start feeling ridiculously high and GREAT
12am-145: Partying. Drinking. Having the night of our lives.
2: Back to the hotel.
210: 6 more lines of Blow. (laced with mdma)
220: (This is where we lose our grip) Friend (6'7"/270lbs) pulls out 6 pills of what we thought was Ecstasy (had no prior experience with it, only ever done M). So me and girl both take 1
2:50: Wired. High. Partymode is a 10
3: Go to after party in a cab, drop 1 more X pill
315-350: Partying having fun no problems!
4: Cant feel my face anymore. I get scared. I say i have to go home. Girl starts packing up her stuff an I go to the bathroom. I realize once in a quiet environment that I am extremely overheated, feeling sick, trying to puke but cant, cant pee even though i have an extreme urge to go.
415: Walking down to get a cab, this is where both me an the girl lose our minds. Every 5 seconds I feel like reality is coming back to me. VERY similiar to a extreme shrooms bad trip (which i had experienced at the beggining of 2012)
430: People standing around me laying on the pavement all i can mutter is "i need a hospital"
5: in a cab to the hospital regain instinctive human focus on my health. I have no idea whats going on, what i like to call a "Mental Maze"
530: in Hospital. Doctor checking us both out, giving us icewater and checking vitals (IV was for passed out patients only at this point)
6: walking home, puking everywhere on the way there.
7-10am: Audible hallucinations, laying in bed with a heat that was apparently "too hot to touch"
11am: Pass out.
530pm: Wake up. I cannot explain the amount of pain i have just endured in the past 12 hours. My brain was ruined. When i closed my eyes all i saw was Pencils Burning (and yes i mean that)
Every day after this is a struggle. I feel like my mind can slip right back into this feeling again. The feeling was best explained as when you are in a night mare and you can see something about to come after you and you quickly wake up at the last second. That feeling lasting for days at a time.
I have to hide all these symptoms from everyone i know an love becuase my drug usage until now was realativly recreational (big shows only ex: avicii/axwell etc)
1 month later: Severe anxiety. Scared of the world at times. Lost sense of purpose. Life seems bleak. I had no longer a sense of who i was or what was there to fix it.
Probably the darkest part of my life (and what i hope remains the darkest till i die). Depression. Wake up crying. No where to look. Flashbacks to the pain daily
For 2 months i thought i was going to be f***** for the rest of my life.
Fast forward to now. I have maybe 1 flash back every 2 weeks. For a short period that i can snap myself out of. Im happy again, im myself.
Fin
Im not a drug addict, I simply lost control. It can happen to anyone, drugs are circumstantial. However after I explain how to avoid, reduce the damage once your in it, and solve a problem as serious as mine... I seriously hope my story can be a lesson that you never have to learn first hand.
How I solved it:
Daily Routine:
- Drink water. (8 glasses a day)
- Workout 5 days a week (Just get your excersise! Listen to your heart however, my blood pressure was bad for a while i had to take it easy!)
- Eat a large breakfast (4 eggs, oatmeal, protein shake <-- Protein helps restore your body!)
- Stay positive, remind yourself that your doing your best and you WILL get through the side effects
- Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep.
- Sleep.
- This may sound weird but: Go for a walk/hike in nature. This will help your grounding process.
- Avoid clubbing/partying at all costs. (it will simply cause no positive effect on your state at this point)
- Treat yourself as if you have a concussion (wiki -> concussion -> treatment)
- Find means of comfort: Girlfriend, Pet, Mother, God, Etc. These things help you through Severe Depression/Anxiety attacks.
- Laugh and enjoy yourself as much as possible. The feeling of being grounded and un-mentally withered is one most humans can relate to as childhood. Watch funny movies, take up a old hobby, have fun.
How to reduce the damage (once already rolling/feeling sick)
- Dont take extra hits. I know it seems reasonable at the time. Put something on your phone background to remind you to say no to more! LESS is MORE with a stimulant like M
- Dont buy more than you plan to take. I get it, you get bunk stuff, and your night is ruined. Its not, sure its a let down, but shut up an enjoy yourself! At least you will have the opportunity to try again..
- DONT. MIX. DRUGS. Its so simple yet so hard for some people to follow. Yes some experienced users on BL may have that good mixture they like! Chances are if your reading this, you probably havnt had that much experience/you outdid yourself this time bond..
- Do drink water yada yada, refer to the 6 steps to MDMA thread thats stickied.
- Dont get sucked in by free drugs. I payed for 10$ for drugs that night... everything else was free from friends. If someone offered you a free punch in the face would you take it? Not everything thats free is needed to be consumed!
- Feeling sick/out of your comfort zone: Go somewhere quiet that you trust. Chill out. If thats not helping our you feel yourself having symptoms of an OD.. Just call 911. No shame in protecting your brain.
Very useful trick: Once you start feeling the small waves of comedown (yes i know they suck at times), do this instead of more drugs: DRINK. Take 4 shots in a row. Get yourself very drunk. This might not be the "healthiest" but it will cause you to become more drunk than you were high, which will make you pass out like a baby so you can deal with the hangover in the morning. Your sober mind does a much better job.
Avoidance:
- Use stuff you trust.
- Plan the timings out before hand. Dont deviate from your plan. Give yourself some legroom for fun but be reasonable. This is doing a large toll on your system so be nice!
- Be healthy the week before (at least)
- Only use around 200mg (for me thats 2 caps generally.)
- Dont use your nose for anything when on mdma, just enjoy it orally.
- Take 3/4 month breaks in between rolls (just my suggestion). I know its a long time. But really, MDMA is good for epic shows, downtime with close friends, finding a new euphoria. Moderate yourself and your usage.
I hope I posted this in the right section, and moreover i hope at least 1 person reads this and it saves them from a near death experience/mental breakdown.
PLURR.
Goal of thread: To help people like myself who were overdoing it and then finally had a very bad overdose which caused short term/long term effects on their mental/physical health. (Issues such as anxiety, severe depression, generally scared I ruined my brain, slow, ungrounded..etc)
Ill start by mentioning: Im 6'4 200, very active, happy, healthy, extremely sporty, in school, driven, 20 yr old.
The Story
So its halloween 2012. I head out to a popular party city in canada to meet up with a girl i had been seeing for a while. Our goal was to do mdma for concert and have some fun! She had been in my city up to 2 weeks before halloween until she moved, and over the course of 2012 we had done maybe 7 nights of MDMA, 12 nose candy nights. All fun times, never a bad comedown (except for one night that turned to day with blow).
We head to drink at a friends hotel room and I will start a rough outline of what events occured:
1030pm: Drop 1 cap of M
1035-11:20: Roughly 6 lines of blow while drinking moderatly
11:30: heading to the concert, dont feel M yet (our normal dealer doesnt live in this city) so we drop a second cap of M
11:50: in the concert (flosstradamus incase you were all wondering) start feeling ridiculously high and GREAT
12am-145: Partying. Drinking. Having the night of our lives.
2: Back to the hotel.
210: 6 more lines of Blow. (laced with mdma)
220: (This is where we lose our grip) Friend (6'7"/270lbs) pulls out 6 pills of what we thought was Ecstasy (had no prior experience with it, only ever done M). So me and girl both take 1
2:50: Wired. High. Partymode is a 10
3: Go to after party in a cab, drop 1 more X pill
315-350: Partying having fun no problems!
4: Cant feel my face anymore. I get scared. I say i have to go home. Girl starts packing up her stuff an I go to the bathroom. I realize once in a quiet environment that I am extremely overheated, feeling sick, trying to puke but cant, cant pee even though i have an extreme urge to go.
415: Walking down to get a cab, this is where both me an the girl lose our minds. Every 5 seconds I feel like reality is coming back to me. VERY similiar to a extreme shrooms bad trip (which i had experienced at the beggining of 2012)
430: People standing around me laying on the pavement all i can mutter is "i need a hospital"
5: in a cab to the hospital regain instinctive human focus on my health. I have no idea whats going on, what i like to call a "Mental Maze"
530: in Hospital. Doctor checking us both out, giving us icewater and checking vitals (IV was for passed out patients only at this point)
6: walking home, puking everywhere on the way there.
7-10am: Audible hallucinations, laying in bed with a heat that was apparently "too hot to touch"
11am: Pass out.
530pm: Wake up. I cannot explain the amount of pain i have just endured in the past 12 hours. My brain was ruined. When i closed my eyes all i saw was Pencils Burning (and yes i mean that)
Every day after this is a struggle. I feel like my mind can slip right back into this feeling again. The feeling was best explained as when you are in a night mare and you can see something about to come after you and you quickly wake up at the last second. That feeling lasting for days at a time.
I have to hide all these symptoms from everyone i know an love becuase my drug usage until now was realativly recreational (big shows only ex: avicii/axwell etc)
1 month later: Severe anxiety. Scared of the world at times. Lost sense of purpose. Life seems bleak. I had no longer a sense of who i was or what was there to fix it.
Probably the darkest part of my life (and what i hope remains the darkest till i die). Depression. Wake up crying. No where to look. Flashbacks to the pain daily
For 2 months i thought i was going to be f***** for the rest of my life.
Fast forward to now. I have maybe 1 flash back every 2 weeks. For a short period that i can snap myself out of. Im happy again, im myself.
Fin
Im not a drug addict, I simply lost control. It can happen to anyone, drugs are circumstantial. However after I explain how to avoid, reduce the damage once your in it, and solve a problem as serious as mine... I seriously hope my story can be a lesson that you never have to learn first hand.
How I solved it:
Daily Routine:
- Drink water. (8 glasses a day)
- Workout 5 days a week (Just get your excersise! Listen to your heart however, my blood pressure was bad for a while i had to take it easy!)
- Eat a large breakfast (4 eggs, oatmeal, protein shake <-- Protein helps restore your body!)
- Stay positive, remind yourself that your doing your best and you WILL get through the side effects
- Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep.
- Sleep.
- This may sound weird but: Go for a walk/hike in nature. This will help your grounding process.
- Avoid clubbing/partying at all costs. (it will simply cause no positive effect on your state at this point)
- Treat yourself as if you have a concussion (wiki -> concussion -> treatment)
- Find means of comfort: Girlfriend, Pet, Mother, God, Etc. These things help you through Severe Depression/Anxiety attacks.
- Laugh and enjoy yourself as much as possible. The feeling of being grounded and un-mentally withered is one most humans can relate to as childhood. Watch funny movies, take up a old hobby, have fun.
How to reduce the damage (once already rolling/feeling sick)
- Dont take extra hits. I know it seems reasonable at the time. Put something on your phone background to remind you to say no to more! LESS is MORE with a stimulant like M
- Dont buy more than you plan to take. I get it, you get bunk stuff, and your night is ruined. Its not, sure its a let down, but shut up an enjoy yourself! At least you will have the opportunity to try again..
- DONT. MIX. DRUGS. Its so simple yet so hard for some people to follow. Yes some experienced users on BL may have that good mixture they like! Chances are if your reading this, you probably havnt had that much experience/you outdid yourself this time bond..
- Do drink water yada yada, refer to the 6 steps to MDMA thread thats stickied.
- Dont get sucked in by free drugs. I payed for 10$ for drugs that night... everything else was free from friends. If someone offered you a free punch in the face would you take it? Not everything thats free is needed to be consumed!
- Feeling sick/out of your comfort zone: Go somewhere quiet that you trust. Chill out. If thats not helping our you feel yourself having symptoms of an OD.. Just call 911. No shame in protecting your brain.
Very useful trick: Once you start feeling the small waves of comedown (yes i know they suck at times), do this instead of more drugs: DRINK. Take 4 shots in a row. Get yourself very drunk. This might not be the "healthiest" but it will cause you to become more drunk than you were high, which will make you pass out like a baby so you can deal with the hangover in the morning. Your sober mind does a much better job.
Avoidance:
- Use stuff you trust.
- Plan the timings out before hand. Dont deviate from your plan. Give yourself some legroom for fun but be reasonable. This is doing a large toll on your system so be nice!
- Be healthy the week before (at least)
- Only use around 200mg (for me thats 2 caps generally.)
- Dont use your nose for anything when on mdma, just enjoy it orally.
- Take 3/4 month breaks in between rolls (just my suggestion). I know its a long time. But really, MDMA is good for epic shows, downtime with close friends, finding a new euphoria. Moderate yourself and your usage.
I hope I posted this in the right section, and moreover i hope at least 1 person reads this and it saves them from a near death experience/mental breakdown.
PLURR.
