Anxiety, Paranoia or some kind of Ataxia.

[NoidDroid]

Well folks i thought i would come to you lot instead of or before going to the doctors.

Do any of you feel like you stand out in normal society? Just going about your life you notice people watching you walk down the street or taking to eachother when they notice you.

This has been driving me crazy over the past few months, i dont think i look like a total down and out drug addict and its not paranoia because the eyes dont lie. I feel like when i walk im stumbling around or somehow walking differently to everyone else.

I mean sure i know i look pale and brooding but im seriously thinking somehow drug use has affected my walking, either that or theres some nasty chinese whispers going around.

My history is nothing too serious, i was a chronic weed smoker for years and then i quit. Dabbled in mdma,ket,shrooms,dxm and mxe. The only thing that was really heavy was the mdma and mxe.

Could it be possible that its somehow given me ataxia or some sort of brain related issue. The only other thing i can think of which would affect my walking was when i bruised my back and was laid out for two weeks on tramadol.

So dear bluelighters, could you point me in the right direction? Ive dismissed it as paranoia but may understand it as being anxiety. If its not mental then what are the chances i am an actual shuffling,pale gollum like creature in everyone elses eyes.

Do any of you have similar issues in not knowing if its all in your head or there is an actual physical problem you found out about?

-Noid
P.S I have seen alot of hard time heroin addicts and i dont look anything like them, although i feel i get the same looks.

 

[stardust.hero]

Is there a certain reason why you pick out Ataxia in particular? You say you feel like you are stumbling around or walking differently. Do you mean that as inside your head it seems as though you are walking oddly but you aren't sure. Or are you sure of it that you are stumbling around (tripping over things, legs going all over, etc.).

If you are in fact walking oddly and it isn't just inside your head I would imagine that to be a sure reason why you are getting so many looks. I am not an expert and this is just an opinion of mine so I really have no idea why you are getting looks, but it seems as though you do need to get checked out to see if you are first actually walking strangely and then also to find out the culprit.

I hope this was helpful.

 

[rangrz]

It sounds like anxiety to me.

If you where ataxic to a noticeable degree, you or someone who knows you probably would of said something. i.e. you'd notice if you where always falling down or someone would tell you if you where walking very oddly.

But if you think you have an organic brain or spinal cord disease, by all means, get it checked out, if even to ease your mind.

 

[DexterMeth]

That's some solid advice rangrz. This would drive me crazy if I didn't know which it was. Being able to differentiate certainly helps.

 

[NoidDroid]

The only thing holding me back from going to a doctor is the fact ive used a fair amount of drugs. But i dont stumble or fall its more unbalanced and stumbling, ive looked at strange gaits and it seems to be a Propellant gait which is seen in parkinsons patients. Hell if bombing crystal mdma powder gave me parkinsons mid 20's i dont know what i would do!

First thing in the morning when i get out of bed im really unbalanced and more prone to stumbling and one of my legs kicks off and out. The other worrying trend is a constant tingling feeling in my brain.. its sort of nice but it comes on if i move my eyes too fast. Been looking at the Dxm threads and its a part of the side effects from that too, i went through 15g in three weeks with 1000mg trips.

Family and friends generally dont see me too much outside of there homes. Oh and they dont know about the extent of my use. I think i really started noticing this at the end of last year when using methoxetamine.

Apologies for the long post but this not being sure if im paranoid,anxious,hypochondriact or actually going through something physical.
If you ever went out wearing only your pants and a pair of shoes you would know the looks i get.

 

[DexterMeth]

You could have a mild form of epilespy. I do. I don't stumble or anything, but I get those brain tingles every now and then. There are plenty of medications to manage it, they are more or less cheap, and if you find the right one, you shouldn't have any side effects. This is just a shot in the dark, but I know that feeling.

 

[lars90]

Yes I still have a derpersonalysation from DXM so defanatly having that feeling right now. I dont know whats really difrent but I jsut feel difrent like someone might call it a slight high or a state of being a tin bit drunk sometimes when I move though the city it gets stronger and I feel it again.

I would say it is a paranoia because the most likely thing which is ahppening is jsut the fact that you feel watched and followed this might be caued by DXM I had that for a week I belive it was my third on withdrwl fro it I got paranoid that someone was following turend aound all the time and was really scared. I would say go to a pycaytrist or a special thearpist which is very good to heel you. I have heard of these kind of things happening off withdrwl of meth. THe people described it as everybody looking at them and being really paranoid.


How long have you been of drugs now?


edit:
I read your last post above and I think its more of a withdrwl symtom then paranoia because I ahd the same just very mcuh milder I had only went to the second pletau 6 times about 1.2grams in total. I took it in fair distances of 2 weeks too... Well the onlything I had was feeling really drowsy and disey like feeling drunk. I couldnt understand my thoughts and I drifted away for times from like 1 to 10 seconds where I was jsut thinking about nothing. I think its more physical then mental. Or just a micture of both. YOu might walk diffrent jsut slightly difrent and notice that and think (even though you walk almost close to normal) that is casuing the looks where it might be the paranoia of ebing followed.

 

[xxsicknessxx]

does it impact your life? drugs changed my way of thinking but I felt worse on the drugs they gave me then off. I deal now. I don't mind. Sometimes I do shock people with what im thinking though. I know what did it to me..... hehe im guilty