• H&R Moderators: VerbalTruist

Anxeity - how long???

I too have experienced severe anxiety and depression from using drugs as well as other problems going on in my life. I can relate to what uforic said in so many ways. I am also 21 and had one traumatic night of heavy drug use which started my downward sprial also. I know that my life will never be the same as it was, but now I love the new me more than the old me. It has taken me 2 years at least to start feeling better about myself. i reccommend having a good diet, getting enough sleep and exercise, staying positive and doing things that you want to do not things for the sake of doing them.
I still see my old friends and people I once new at Uni or around town and feel embarassed or humiliated as I had to get away from them. But they are only apart of my past now and I will try to remember the good times we had. It is now time for me to move on and make new friends which is not always easy.
I have just started CBT which is helping alot as it is your thinking patterns which dictate a great amount of your life and these can be changed accordingly.

Don't give up the hope. There will always be a better day down the track. Time heals wounds also.

All the best.
 
I need to quit drugs, properly.

I was getting so much better, and then a couple of weeks ago took a lot of pills and knocked myself back into hardcore anxiety.

I think I'm on the recovery now, once again, but I don't trust myself not to do it again. I'm in a position where I can make life bearable, but when the temptation of drugs comes up I just think how shit my life is anyway so why not?

However, at the moment I have a better frame of mind and I do think sooner or later I am going to come out of this hole...
 
You've got to cut back on the drugs, its the only way. That also includes caffeine and other legal or illegal stimulants. Alcohol is also a depressant so drink very infrequently. I don't drink nor take anything anymore.That and a whole lot of meditation has really helped me get my life back on track. Yeh, it can be boring but it's the only way. Having so much more free time as well opens up a whole new world of opportunities. I know that there will be a time in the future when I will use again and enjoy a few social drinks but until my lifes in the control and stability I want it to be, they're the last things on my mind. And believe me, that I have been through hell and back. You've just got to make more of an effort and don't give up.
 
Unfortunatly I find weed has increasingly aggraviated my anxiety from just a dull roar to full blown panic attacks even days after smoking. I'd take the advice here and just lay off all drugs for a few months, get your head back in order then see where ya stand.
 
eng said:
Hey

Glad to feel your feeling better

I have being feeling 58 times better! I have being doing daily practice of yoga and meditation and I feel fantastic afterwards

I still carry the anxiey around with me but in a small form, and I don't let it run me, I just acknowledge it and it it goes pretty much most of the time

I'm still not back to the same way I was before all this happened but I am getting back into the normal things I used to do all the time and heading back to my normal job as well which is excellent for me. (at the moment I have being not working in my chosen career) That's the thing that most concerned me

Anyway thanks Hard trance as you got me motivated to do the relaxation and that works wonder,s but it really takes 6 weeks + every day practice, even now I sometimes don't feel relaxed afterwards, but most of the time I am, where as before I was never relaxed

KEEP PRACTING PEOPLE ;)

(still not going to do any more pills though every, don't want to fuck all this up even though I'd proably be ok, just don't want to risk it... It's good old grog for me from now on)
Hi eng, could you do me a favour and tell me what you do for your yoga and meditation? Do you go to classes or have you taught yourself? Please explain...
 
hey monkey funky

I go to a class, I have tried to do it myself but seem to lack the motivation or patience. (I still do attempt it though but don't normally last more than 5 mins)

When I am in the class you are in the for and hour and a half with everyone else so you keep pluggin away at it

I go about 4 times a week (yoga), the meditation you do a bit before the class and a bit after, (just basically laying there and relaxing)

but becasue I did a meditation course, I belive I am able to go into a deeper relaxing state because the mediation course taught me to breathe properly and well as to perceive life differently. (not be driven constantly by thoughts and emotion, but to almost analyze yourself and detach and negative thinking that was driving you crazy before hand)

so when I am practising this relaxing before and after the yoga I can go into this state better due to doing a mediation course, (for me anyway, that's how it worked

hope your feeling better):)
 
hell

ITS BACK!!!

Well after all the hard work I did to get myself back onto track, Im in constant fear of my thoughts, health and life...

After a break-up with a ex boyfriend I seemed to carry on ok, I mean I was off my anti-Depressants, got a new job caught up with friends a little more, then just 3 weeks ago I find out that my Ex boyfriend and another Bluelighter got together a month after we broke up, the week that my step-granfather had died, My ex bf and I had a lil bit of trouble after we broke up but became friends and chattard and etc... still, he said he still had feelings for me, still cared alot about me and that he was soo glad that we were to remain friends because I was such a awsome person, but we couldnt be togther, basicly I found out he had been sleepig with this other bluelighter girl, he lied and lied and sceemed behind my back, I trusted him and loved him, and he does this to me, he knows I dont take rel-ships lightly and that he knew I needed to be told the truth, therefore now here I am, so down on myself, been to the docoters, and counciler, on anti-d's and valium to keep me from worrying soo much, my life these past 2 weeks hav not only effected me but my whole family, Im such a mess again and I dont know what to do, Im soo scared and worst thing is that my ex bf hasnt even had the balls to see if im alright and to explain things, he has just deleted me, that thats killing me even more.. I am not suicidal, but sometimes I feel like thats already happening... I dont have enough money to be going to the doctors all the time because I cant work while on these meds, as well as councilers, I cant afford to buy this lindon method from the net http://www.linden-method.com/?hop=tafadhali# so Im kinda in a rutt...

My friends have been good, they hav been around every night, nearly.. but If Im home alone I tend to freak soo far out... I ended up in the emergency room last week, I took a full stilnox and got a bad re-action from it, I had a very bad visual and nightmare... arhhh I just dont know If Im screaming out aloud enough for help.. I cant get negative thoughts out of my head no matter how I try, all I can say is what I feel on the inside is something soo scarey that I feel like Im dying.. Im doing all the right things, Im not drinking caffeine or using any sort of drug, I do smoke but I hav cut down..

Anyway I better be off... I just hope some of the regualr users of this topic pass by to say hi

lahlah.. xo
 
I’ve been getting tingling in the head, and a weird feeling in my ears, like the feeling before your ears pop, my heart starts pounding, and I have jittery vision and occasionally i get dizzy, this has been happening everyday, it happens when I start thinking about it; and it’s especially bad at night, which makes it impossible to sleep.

Does this sound like anxiety? I’m so worried it’s something more than that.. like a brain tumour or something! I have Imovane to sleep at the moment. Will I get any better? I can’t sleep and I’m going crazy. it's been happening since i went pilling 3 and a half weeks ago..although for a couple of days after i went pilling, i had flickering vision, i don't think that is related to the syptoms i have now..
 
anxiety is fucked.... it stays with you forever, you just need to learn to live with it. I can't say no to drugs, but I think what the fuck is use of life without ups and downs.... I still allow one night say every 2 months where I let myself get fucked up. You just have to accept that things will never be the same and that anxiety is part of you, you need to create a new identity and find things in your life that don't aggrevate your condition as hard as it is. Makes me sad that life is soo easy for someone who doesn't have anxiety, this constant battle is fucked. I dream of a time where I didn't feel anxious. It's like I can remember the exact period of time when I didn't used to be anxious and after that everything has just been fucked
 
^^^ that sort of negitive thinking isnt going to get you anywhere!!! Dude Anxiety and pannick attacks can be beaten it just takes alot of time, and the right method and a little bit of $$$ for some people!! Please dont say that we cant beat this ad we will have this for the rest of our life because that scares the shit out of me and I dont need to hear that shit!! Seriously it can be beaten I know it can I just have to show you all IT CAN BE DONE!!

lahlah
 
I've been suffering from anxiety attacks as well. They have definately been brought on by drugs but it took me a little while to figure it out because when I would get the panic attacks I would get hyperchondriacal thoughts about health problems and seem to attack a possible reason why I'm getting the anxiety attacks and why I feel so run down all the time (stress).

I would get anxiety attacks when not on drugs after that but I could almost figure out why I was getting them while not on drugs so I could talk myself out of them and calm myself down. I was doing great until I had mushrooms last weekend and I had another huge anxiety attack and went into worry about health problems again. It took me a little to relax from it but after I had it I felt great, it was like all this stress from my system was released.

I'm sure a big cause of the anxiety would be supressed grief because my old man passed away about 3 years ago but I never really cried on anyones shoulder about it and now that its been 3 years it feels like its almost too late and I can't just trigger that grief too easily anymore. Hopefully it'll happen sometime soon, maybe that will help.

Definately no more drugs for me until I feel nice and relaxed in day to day life...Which is definately not right now so it might be a while.

I don't think I'll persue any help about it unless I get them again while straight. I'll just lay off the drugs and try and sort through what the problems may be when I'm worrying about my health.
 
hey

Hey there everyone

U hang in there Larlah, everybody is here for you. your bf sounds like a prick, fuck him. Find yourself a nice new man that treats you right

The anxiety can be triggered by everything and anything, somedays worse than others. My stress tolerance is very low compareed to how it used to be. The slightest thing can set it offf (the anxiety symptoms). But I guess thats why I have anxiety because I went too hard for too long and your body just shuts down for a while and becomes very fragile afterwards

You just have to know your limitiations with it and basically carry it around like a bad knee etc, it's fucked and I hate it and would give anything to get rid of it completley

and keep doing yoga and excercise and not going to hard core, and do heaps of shit that you like, you have to put yourself as no.1. I can't stress how important these things are, they are like having a panadol for a headache, the headache is still there but your get temporarily relief for a couple of hours and it feels great not to feel anxious

Occasionally I go out for a big night drinking, and I have an awesome time, but I just except that the next day I feel like my head will explode and get electic shocks when I drift off to sleep which causes me to wake up again, but I know that the next day after that I should be fine

Ice O - I get exactly those symptoms too allmost every day. There is about 100 different symtoms I've experienced, try not to fight them, just acknowledge them and there they sometimes dissapear - it's anxiety - test yourself by just randomly thinking you have a brain tumor and see what happens, I bet the symptoms flair up instantly , I can do the same thing with thinking I am going to have a seizure, If i see a flickery strobe lights it send me into thinking I am having a seizure evern though I've never had one in my life!

and go and have a brain scan for tumors, and prove to yourself that it's anxiety (I did)

So I'm still ploding along and have my old life back which I thought I would never get too this point, but I have to do a few extra tasks now, like yoga, exercise, mediation etc . They just become like doing your teeth, you don't want to do them and I'm the first to admit it gets fucking boring, but you just do them it order to make the anxiety symptoms less severe.

:)
 
LahLahGatecrasher said:
^^^ that sort of negitive thinking isnt going to get you anywhere!!! Dude Anxiety and pannick attacks can be beaten it just takes alot of time, and the right method and a little bit of $$$ for some people!! Please dont say that we cant beat this ad we will have this for the rest of our life because that scares the shit out of me and I dont need to hear that shit!! Seriously it can be beaten I know it can I just have to show you all IT CAN BE DONE!!

lahlah

I don't have panic attacks,
I just have GAD
I'm with Shal on this one, I like things being perfect - a perfectionist, and having a damaged brain does fucked things for my ego, therefore I wonder what the use of living is (im not suicidal) when all life has ended up being is a constant struggle to do day to day things. I hate being mediocre, and that's what having anxiety has turned my personality into.
It's annoying have to put on a farce each day to act as though your happy and everything is coasting a long fine when really you're just empty. I don't believe anxiety can be *fixed*. Anxiety has changed me into a totally different person and it feels as though I don't even know who I am at times - second guessing what I say to people in fear of how they percieve me is starting to fucking annoy me. And what is the use of living each day in fear?
Its a brain malfunction and Ive been constantly told anxiety stays with you for life. I used to look at life as endless possibility for fun, now my brain confines me to a cell without walls. As much as it sounds fucking egocentric, I hate being average and that is excactly what anxiety does. You can't be spontaneous and exciting when you're constantly worrying about shit that has fuck all relevance 24/7. I'm very mucy pessimistic, I fucking loved my life before axiety. I was excessively happy and it was one stupid thing which set off anxiety and fuck does that piss me off.
I feel useless, boring, inadequate and it doesn't matter how many times people compliment me, it means nothing. I think they only way to truly beat anxiety (yes I contradicted myself) is develop a new identity and remove all the things that exacerbate anxiety. Which to be honest, I dont wan't to have a fucking bar of it !
People saying "what happened" you "use to be the life of the party" is really starting to fuck with me. Constantly fretting about my image is and making changes to my appearance to mask the hurt inside is really getting to me... They need to make a benzo that lasts a year at a time that would make me happy!
Now this sound like one great big fucking winge, and it is, none of my friends understand cause I'm known as the outgoing/outrageous one,but it feels as though its juts a bit act - inside Im lost and confused..
People who have never experienced anxiety, cannot relate to me and it really pisses me off, as they try and give a simple answer to your trouble and it just ends up frustrating me more! (that's not their fault though)
I have not read one post on bluelight where anxiety has been totally eliminated from ones brain, it always just ends up being a never ending cycle...
Sorry about the winge, but I do try and get out there and not play the victim , but I really just need to get this rant out. I also just dont derive from things that would have easily kept me entertained in the past, and because of my stubborn nature - I take my bad moods out on the ones I love and that's the worst thing.
They say GAD is more debilitating than MS, or on par and people don't realise this. If i hear the excuse "Well you're just growing up, and you're changing" one more time I'm going to shit :P
Anyways rant over, theres people out their that cope with shit much worse than I have, so I just have to deal..
 
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I've been dealing with anxiety lately as it is a side effect of my medication..... I read in this thread that some people stopped taking E b/c of the anxiety... Does it occur during the roll or is it b/c of the after effects? Just curious b/c I would like to know if my use might have any thing to do with my anxiety. I am in no way depressed.......just very anxious:\
 
Dionysius I didnt mean to think Im the only one with this prob, and me trying to be a victom. *Sorry*


eng- Thanks for that, p.s Im not with him anymore I havent been for 2 months, just things with him have effected me so much, when someone tell you that they love you, care for you and wouldnt do anything to hurt you and I was gullable enough to trust myself to trust him and want a future with him, I have past regrets and things I havent been able to deal with and when last year I took that E it triggerd off anxiety and pannick attacks, that night changed my life and I hope that one day I wont be personally alone with this and someone will love me for who I am and not take me for granted and fuck me over!!
 
Dionysius- I too suffer from most of the problems of gad that you described in your last post. I have seeked help. I got a prescription to anti depressants and i am in therapy right now trying to sort out my problems and be the guy i once was. I was fun/optimistic/loving/caring/happy/content and now i am like the complete opposite. I feel like therapy and medication are helping me a little bit though and it has only been a few weeks. I think it helps to think rationally about what is causing your anxiety. Things like perfection/image, etc. when you begin to feel anxious think about how hard you are being on yourself and try to just laugh at yourself. My anxiety kicked into full gear when i stopped using drugs all the time i just wanted to be sober most of the time and have some fun every once in a while. Good luck!
 
Dionysius


Well you're just growing up, and you're changing" one more time I'm going to shit :P

Fuck I've heard that off people, shit it sucks, I can totally understand what your going through. I have GAD and don't get panic attacks either. Befoer all this shit happened I was a perfectionist and always running around at a million miles an hour, now I can't do too much without feeling stupidly anxious and have to do shit to try and fix it all the time. It's like being stuck at work for 20 hrs a day

Fuck anxiety
 
P.S That rude finger was supposed to come after the fuck anxiety part, not next to your name Dionysius

Sorry man:D
 
I so understand you dude ;) Its a headfuck... All my mates are out getting wrecked tonight and I've decided I should stay home because of my brain. It's such a cunt ;) I used to have so much stamina..... now I cant do shit without feeling anxious. Very annoying..
 
Re: hell

LahLahGatecrasher said:
ITS BACK!!! I dont have enough money to be going to the doctors all the time because I cant work while on these meds, as well as councilers, I cant afford to buy this lindon method from the net http://www.linden-method.com/?hop=tafadhali# so Im kinda in a rutt...



Thats just a bullshit website, clever but bs. and of course it may have helped people with anxiety, but those who "fixed" there anxiety threw someone method. could have done it cheaper if not for free in that case.
they like...list all the symptoms of anxiety...and anxiety caused by drug use..withdrawls....and really.....almost any drug user in some state of mind could look at the list and think hey thats me!

Even if you had the money, don't spend it for something like that.
1 year counsler support.....if they got big it would be like buying a dell pc.
1 year support from some guy in india who dont speak english ;p



Sounds more like you have depression problems lahlah, maybe anxiety induced or vice versa yeah.
but all these negative thoughts...and way you say things. just sounds more like depression/anxiety .. which is a good thing in my opinion.
You can work through that......successfully.


massive anxiety, well...such as i deal with. is more or less ridiclous.
forget about thoughts, and feelings...and worries.
Its basically an overbearing force, that does not allow you to walk threw that door...to walk up to a person...to pick up the phone
to be normal for one minute...then crippled the second without reason.
heh...list goes on...as it does for everyone.


Xanax keeps all that back, more effective then anything in this world i tryed
without insurance cvs charged me $10.57 for 120 of em.

But, when that wears off. then you get those sudden thoughts...pretty much rather be dead.




I give up, on trying to control my anxiety...becaues its getting worse and worse...hindering every aspect of my life.
but i don't believe its "there for life" or "not cureable" for alot of people out there with anxiety.
There is a way, and falling vicitim to any marketing looking soultion would hurt.


talking to other people, friends, threads like this....cognitive self-talk. is probably best thing.
any sort of thoughts like....not having money to buy the cure. causes ya more anxiety....but thats just thinking in the wrong direction.


Sorry this was so long. i just think some people have more depression problems....that lead to anxiety. but are trying to medicate for anxiety.
causing more let downs.
 
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