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Another 'Save My Relationship' Thread

Lustmord

Lustmord

Bluelighter
Joined
Sep 14, 2008
Messages
907
Location
California
So let's just begin with me admitting that I am extremely co-dependent, and that I have a long history of depression.

My girlfriend is about to leave me.

Her grandmother is dying, and she simply can't take the pressure of me also being depressed at the same time. It's just really shitty
timing, because I'm trying out different meds with my Dr. The side effects of going on and off my recent flirt with an SSRI made me
extremely emotionally tumultuous, and we got in a fight last night. It was pretty bad, and she is just in no mood to even deal with
my problems.

At the same time, I'm trying to keep it under wraps so bad that this post might as well have been made in the Dark Side, but I won't
go into those problems here.

We live together, and we've been together for two years. We moved right in after dating only a few months, because I lived over 2 hours
drive away and we wanted to see more of each other. I have no friends where she (we) lives, but I am going to school there (that's
another minor detail about why I don't want to leave right now, I have no money and I would have to leave my school and move over 100
miles.)

We both have a long history of issues, cutting/drugs, etc., but as for me, this is the first relationship that I've ever been in. I love her
with all my heart. Please help me and tell me what to do. I know that I need to fix myself, I just don't know where to begin and whether
or not I have enough time to save what I've shit upon.

EDIT: I am trying SO HARD to straighten out my life right now, and I've been on a roll. My GPA is climbing, I haven't been getting drunk, and my drug use is zero.
 
maybe try putting less of your problems on her and be more supportive of her problems.

depression is incredibly self focused. if you could support her now emotionally then i'm sure she would appreciate it;)

my attitude is the only thing you have said which suggest she is leaving is that she cannot take the pressure. well try making her life easier and use it to distract yourself from your own problems
 
I'd like to be able to say something really positive, but my honest opinion is that I think you need to respect her decision to be alone right now, and not try to interfere with it.
As pofacedhoe said, depression tends to make people very selfish. I'm in no way blaming you as it's done the same exact thing to me. Considering what she's going through, it's understandable that she feels unable to 'deal' with you as well.
The best you can do right now is really be with her and support her through this, all the while keeping a lid on your own issues, at laest while you're around her. If she sees you being so altruistic it might hopefully change her mind.

Just remember that it's very important for you to focus on yourself whether you're in a relationship or not. Relying on your partner to help you through your depression is neither healthy for you, nor for her.
 
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