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Another Newbie! Please play nice with me!

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vikg74

Greenlighter
Joined
Jul 21, 2015
Messages
1
Location
Scotland
Evening folks, hope you are all doing well? Thought I should take a chance to introduce myself as I have just joined this site tonight. I'm not entirely sure how much I should be saying about myself but safe to say that i'm a prescription pill fiend! I suffer from bipolar and take all my meds to keep that under control, but oh my, I love valium, sleepers and any kind of opiates that I can get my greedy hands on. I haven't gone down the 'big route' yet, but i've been close to it.

My partner of 13 years committed suicide in Jan 2015 as he couldn't keep his bipolar under control, and I have found myself going rapidly downhill from there. Every day I feel that I need to be more out of my face than the last day, just to get through. I take sleepers at night and if I don't have any, i'll use alcohol instead. I'm not sure if the opiates etc counteract with my bipolar meds either. So I guess that i'm just looking for some advice...

Thanks
 
Hello from a fellow newby!

I really have no suggestions or advice for your particular issues. I feel your heartbreak and angst in your post. I am so very sorry for the loss of your mate. I understand the seduction of SLEEP, whether depression or physical pain. My therapist always tells me to remain cognizant of that seduction.

I refuse to give in to it. I refuse to take prescribed pain meds that are sedating. This is difficult at best, because pain relief often comes with the price of sleepiness (for me). A simple thing to prevent apathy and surrender: I make up my bed immediately upon rising, all fluffed with pillows and such. This is to prevent me from crawling back into it, closing the shutters...and escaping through med-induced sleep.

I cannot begin to equate my situation to yours. I am currently enrolled in PM, seeking some degree of relief through chemistry. My body has rejected MOST trials. The daily pain makes me feel like death would be welcome. I know it's not the answer.

I just wanted to say I'm sorry for your pain. Perhaps therapy (individual/group) would help you feel less alone. Please reach out for HELP.
Feel free to talk through your trials and your triumphs HERE. Somebody's always listening. (((HUGS)))
 
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