Another good person dead from drugs.

[Lysis]

I just found out someone I had been estranged from died a few weeks ago. I'm waiting to get details, but he was only 37 and died "unexpectedly" and I know it was from drugs. He was one of the few people who called me in person after Rob died (they were online friends). He talked to me and would text me and ask how I was doing. Our last conversation was me telling him I think I need to talk to someone, because I was going insane. He was the one who told me what Rob was telling him about drugs and what he was doing to help me piece things together and understand. He left behind 4 little kids and a wife.

I never really wanted to intrude on people's personal life when I was a wreck after Rob died. I felt like I was bothering people, because it was all I could think about, and this guy would call me anyway and let me talk. My sister told me Rob was just a drug addict and I should stop being upset over someone like him. I had no one to talk to, and this guy let me talk. I remember our last conversation was me crying my eyes out one morning as I was walking my dog and this crazy ass, nosy lady was yelling at me, because I hadn't even realized that my dog poo'd somewhere she shouldn't have. LOL I didn't even notice I was so upset and he talked me through even that fucked up, stupid situation, because I was just so out of it.

I am crying, and I really didn't even know this person. He was just someone I played a game with, he was an online friend to a boyfriend of mine, and he was one of the few people who was rough around the edges but had the biggest heart imaginable and now he is dead from what I'm sure of is drugs. This sucks.

I just think about how bad I wanted to die and just stop hurting after Rob died. I wanted it, and I was wreckless and stupid and nothing happened to me. I took a ton of alcohol and xanax one night, and I walked away after blacking out for daysssss. When i say I took a lot, I mean I took so much I blacked out for 3 days and that is no exaggeration. I wanted death and it never came, and here is this person who has 4 kids, a wife and didn't want it and he is gone for good.

I guess I don't really expect a response, but I just needed to tell people to be careful. I think he was taking xanax or painkillers. I know that is what Rob was doing and his other friend was doing the same. They pretty much all did painkillers and xanax, and I suspect he got caught up with the same shit.

 

[mrflowers00]

because of how dangerous i don't mix my xanax with my oxycodone anymore and i'm sorry that your friend died but time will make things better

 

[n3ophy7e]

Lysis I am so sorry for your loss hun. You may not have known him in person but he was still your friend. I'm sure this is bringing up a lot of old emotions about Rob's passing as well. Please PM me if you wanna chat

 

[badfish45]

Lysis, drugs unfortunately don't discriminate. I am sorry to hear about your loss, I am friends with people on here who are very close to me and I would be upset as well. Even if you never made human contact, he was a good person who was close to you and your sadness is perfectly natural

 

[herbavore]

I'm really sorry, Lysis. He was obviously a very compassionate person. Not many people can handle other people's grief but he did and I bet at the time that was a lifesaver for you. I'm glad you didn't die when you were in the depths of your despair.

After Caleb died every card or note that came to us was appreciated but the ones that truly gave us comfort were the ones from people that had truly known Caleb and talked about what he meant to them. Is there any way that you could write to his family to share what you have said here? I think that it would be comforting to his family to talk about his compassion. Also, it is still possible that he didn't die from an overdose, right? Even though he was a heavy drug user he might have had an aneurysm or a stroke or something. Is there any way for you to find that out? It won't change the pain of losing him but it will put a different face on his death.

I agree with n3o that this may very well bring up all the pain of losing Rob. Watch yourself for signs of depression and take good care of yourself.

 

[footscrazy]

I am so sorry to hear this Lysis. Even though you say you didn't really know him, he sounds like he was a very special person in your life, and I think your grief is completely understandable. Take care