i was just sitting on the floor of the shower with the water pouring down over me, dripping down my face in deep thought, thinking -- what the fuck am i doing, and who the fuck am i?
it's 2011 in a weeks time. i'm getting closer and closer to 30yrs of age and still i feel i haven't found myself. who am i? is a question i'm still lost to answer.
i'm not content just being a no one. i want to be someone, something. i want to be able to get out of bed in the morning and stand tall and proud. be cheerful and happy without having to consciously make an effort.
i want to be happy with myself and the person i am so i can let myself go and hope to find someone to love and cherish.
they say if you don't love yourself you'll never truly find someone to love. and it's true.
how can i expect someone to be happy with me when i'm not happy with myself?
but how do i become someone, and who do i want to be is the real question i need to find the answer to. do i just need to slap myself silly and tell myself to wake the fuck up? tell myself to just cut the shit and get on with life.
maybe i'm just one of those people who will never be content. maybe i'm one of those people who is meant to be just your average joe blo and nothing more.
i can't say i'm ever going to genuinely believe that. i guess i just gotta keep fighting and attempting to progress. life is about survival. you'll die in your own misery if you choose to give up on hope.
wow. there's so many things i wish i could express in words but i don't know where to begin. i'll probably read back on this in a years time and laugh. all i know is that if i'm serious about being someone i want to be, i have to make some big and tough decisions. we'll see how we go.
it's 2011 in a weeks time. i'm getting closer and closer to 30yrs of age and still i feel i haven't found myself. who am i? is a question i'm still lost to answer.
i'm not content just being a no one. i want to be someone, something. i want to be able to get out of bed in the morning and stand tall and proud. be cheerful and happy without having to consciously make an effort.
i want to be happy with myself and the person i am so i can let myself go and hope to find someone to love and cherish.
they say if you don't love yourself you'll never truly find someone to love. and it's true.
how can i expect someone to be happy with me when i'm not happy with myself?
but how do i become someone, and who do i want to be is the real question i need to find the answer to. do i just need to slap myself silly and tell myself to wake the fuck up? tell myself to just cut the shit and get on with life.
maybe i'm just one of those people who will never be content. maybe i'm one of those people who is meant to be just your average joe blo and nothing more.
i can't say i'm ever going to genuinely believe that. i guess i just gotta keep fighting and attempting to progress. life is about survival. you'll die in your own misery if you choose to give up on hope.
wow. there's so many things i wish i could express in words but i don't know where to begin. i'll probably read back on this in a years time and laugh. all i know is that if i'm serious about being someone i want to be, i have to make some big and tough decisions. we'll see how we go.