QuestionEverything
Bluelight Crew
This is an anonymous post for a fellow BLer.
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SLR Moderators: Senior Staff
Anonymous Post: Is this assault?
- Thread starter QuestionEverything
- Start date
I can see the point of view but surely in a relationship it dosn't matter.
If I woke up to find a chick I was seeing and regulary doing the deed with hangging off my apendidge I know it wouldn't consider it assult.
It's a case of trust, sounds like x trusts y and so there is no issue. It sounds like you have problems with trust making this an issue for you.
If I woke up to find a chick I was seeing and regulary doing the deed with hangging off my apendidge I know it wouldn't consider it assult.
It's a case of trust, sounds like x trusts y and so there is no issue. It sounds like you have problems with trust making this an issue for you.
QuestionEverything
Bluelight Crew
As far as the initial question goes, yes, this is rape in my opinion.
Johnny Boy - Being someone's boyfriend/girlfriend, even husband/wife does not give automatic consent. He took advantage of her while she was unconscious. How is there anything not wrong with that?
The fact that the female here has yet to acknowledge the issue at hand, or see it as one at all is concerning. Is she (X) really not concerned about it at all??? I think she must see something wrong with what he did; she did call your SO and tell them about it.
As far as what you should do I'm really sort of at a loss. Maybe your SO should talk to her a bit more once she's had a while to process everything and see where she stands.
Johnny Boy - Being someone's boyfriend/girlfriend, even husband/wife does not give automatic consent. He took advantage of her while she was unconscious. How is there anything not wrong with that?
The fact that the female here has yet to acknowledge the issue at hand, or see it as one at all is concerning. Is she (X) really not concerned about it at all??? I think she must see something wrong with what he did; she did call your SO and tell them about it.
As far as what you should do I'm really sort of at a loss. Maybe your SO should talk to her a bit more once she's had a while to process everything and see where she stands.
supertrav77
Ex-Bluelighter
YOU don't do anything. This is between two other people who are not you.
I'm only familiar with with US law and even then I can't claim to be an expert.
Anyway, it CAN be considered rape if Y has sex with X when she is not capable of giving consent. But she would have to press charges herself.
There's nothing YOU can do about it. Even if you told the cops and then the cops asked X if it was true and she said "yes", the next thing they would ask is "Would you like to press charges."
If X says "No, I would not like to press charges" (and considering this is her boyfriend, that is what she will most likely say), the cops will get back in their cars and go home.
This matter is none of your buisiness. Let it go.
Also, there's an old saying that it is a very unlucky man who goes to jail for rape. First of all, few women ever report it to the police. Secondly wait too long, after bruising has healed and there is little physical evidence.
Then, most importantly, the woman has to prove that the sex was not concentual which is extreeeeeeeemely hard to do.
In this case, when X is already in a sexual relationship with Y and she willingly took the drugs, even if she did try to press charges, I would not fancy her chances of winning a conviction. It would, however, scare the bejeezus out of Y at make him unlikely to fuck anyone else in their sleep for a while.
In your opinion, but as I stated i wouldn't be bothed if it happend to me and x seems to be of the same opinion. Seems as she has openly stated it didn't bother her. It might shock you but it might even be a turn on to a large number of people.QuestionEverything said:
Wonderful thing about people is they can have different points of view, it's not your place to say what is right or wrong.
QuestionEverything
Bluelight Crew
Johny Boy said:
I understand rape fantasies, but reality is something else entirely. I also understand people have different points of view as well, and respect that. You're right, if she truly has no problem with what happened then that's her choice, but it is, by definition, rape.
GenericMind
Bluelighter
I don't see how it's any of the OP's business if the person in question doesn't mind.
A) It was her boyfriend.
B) I know a lot of women who would be turned on by that.
A) It was her boyfriend.
B) I know a lot of women who would be turned on by that.
QuestionEverything
Bluelight Crew
response from anonymous:
GenericMind
Bluelighter
Someone who was horny.
Beatlebot
Bluelight Crew
I'm willing to allow that in this instance it's not really a crime, but I think your friend X will find that it will set a very bad precedent in her relationship if she doesn't address this with her boyfriend and tell him on no uncertain terms not to do it again.
Having sex with your partner when they are unconscious is taking way too much of a liberty. Also, the fact that she remained unconscious throughout the act should really tell her something about the excesses she is getting into. Her boyfriend should have been more concerned with the fact he couldn't rouse her than getting his rocks off.
It's just not good.
Having sex with your partner when they are unconscious is taking way too much of a liberty. Also, the fact that she remained unconscious throughout the act should really tell her something about the excesses she is getting into. Her boyfriend should have been more concerned with the fact he couldn't rouse her than getting his rocks off.
It's just not good.
supertrav77
Ex-Bluelighter
I agree that the guy should not have done that. But she doesn't mind and that's anyone's guess why. Maybe it hasn't sunk in yet. Maybe she'll think about it and get really pissed off in a week. Maybe they have a deep level of trust.
And maybe the story has become exagerated. You are getting the info second hand. Anyway, if she doesn't mind, no one else has any right to be pissed.
But anyway, its really none of your buisiness.
QuestionEverything
Bluelight Crew
response from anonymous:
GenericMind
Bluelighter
Domestic violence isn't a comparable analogy. How about BDSM? Is that a crime? It sure would be if one of the participants wanted to file a complaint.
Some women get turned on simply by knowing that something like that happened to them when they were sleeping. Maybe it's because they were taken advantage and it makes them feel dirty of or maybe it's because they have a rape fantasy. It doesn't matter how they rationalize it in their heads, the simple fact is that there are women out there who would be turned on by it.
I'm not condoning the guy in question's actions. I personally wouldn't do something like that, but again, if neither of them have a problem with it then you should mind your own business.
Also, if you're horny at the office take it to the bathroom stall. You'll have more privacy there.
Some women get turned on simply by knowing that something like that happened to them when they were sleeping. Maybe it's because they were taken advantage and it makes them feel dirty of or maybe it's because they have a rape fantasy. It doesn't matter how they rationalize it in their heads, the simple fact is that there are women out there who would be turned on by it.
I'm not condoning the guy in question's actions. I personally wouldn't do something like that, but again, if neither of them have a problem with it then you should mind your own business.
Also, if you're horny at the office take it to the bathroom stall. You'll have more privacy there.
9mmCensor
Ex-Bluelighter
- Joined
- Oct 18, 2006
- Messages
- 4,956
"Now X doesn’t have a problem with this, she thinks its ok"
She thinks its ok, doesn't have a problem with it. Done. End of story. No need to sow the seeds of dissent here.
Is spanking someone assault? Technically yes. But some people don't have a problem with it and do it cause its kinky or something.
"In fact why did he not have a wank ... sex with what is effectively a DEAD person apart from fundamental life support provided by the body .... sleep paralysis renders you useless and (correct me if I'm wrong) with little to no feeling."
Unless she ODed and died like heart stops and all that medical stuff that means someone is dead... its not sex with a 'DEAD' person. But that would be that him fucking her would have brought her back to life... in which case thats awesome.
She thinks its ok, doesn't have a problem with it. Done. End of story. No need to sow the seeds of dissent here.
Is spanking someone assault? Technically yes. But some people don't have a problem with it and do it cause its kinky or something.
"In fact why did he not have a wank ... sex with what is effectively a DEAD person apart from fundamental life support provided by the body .... sleep paralysis renders you useless and (correct me if I'm wrong) with little to no feeling."
Unless she ODed and died like heart stops and all that medical stuff that means someone is dead... its not sex with a 'DEAD' person. But that would be that him fucking her would have brought her back to life... in which case thats awesome.
Swiss Banker
Bluelighter
Beatlebot said:
It is most definitely a crime, depending on the jurisdiction. The location here is not stated but most states in the United States define rape as non-consensual penetration of any kind.
Most states go on to legislate that even an adult is simply unable to give their consent when legally under the influence of drugs or alcohol. It makes no difference at all if there is a relationship between the two or if the girl here "likes" being taken under the influence. She CANNOT give her consent, even if she wants to. The law makes no provision for it.
Now, the legality of this is an entirely separate question from the prosecutabilty of the crime. I doubt any DA would take this case. That, however, does not make it less of a crime.
Technically, also, it's likely sexual battery and rape.
As for what a third party can do? Zip. Cool your jets. Move on. It's their relationship.
Swiss Banker, J.D.
Swiss Banker
Bluelighter
9mmCensor said:
This might be a good place to establish some definitions.
Assault is often badly misunderstood. Generally "Assault" is merely the act of intentionally putting someone in fear of unwanted, imminent bodily harm. (No contact is required). "Battery," on the other hand, is assault PLUS any kind of "unwanted touching." (Contact required).
So, consensual spanking simply isn't assault or battery.
glitterbizkit
Bluelighter
I'm finding this thread a bit weird...
.. So technically I have raped my boyfriend a few times because I started having sex with him while he was sleeping? Oops... Big deal.
Although I do partly agree with what BB said:
.. So technically I have raped my boyfriend a few times because I started having sex with him while he was sleeping? Oops... Big deal.
Although I do partly agree with what BB said:
Beatlebot said:
GenericMind
Bluelighter
Swiss Banker said:
The whole point is that none of this matters if the alleged victim isn't willing to prosecute.
Swiss Banker
Bluelighter
GenericMind said:
She isn't now. But what about in 3 years, before the statute of limitations kicks in? Is it wise to commit repeated felonies on the hope that the victim will never prosecute?
Hmmmm....?
Swiss Banker
Bluelighter
Here's New York Penal law § 130.05:
"Sex offenses; lack of consent."
1. Whether or not specifically stated, it is an element of every
offense defined in this article that the sexual act was committed
without consent of the victim.
2. Lack of consent results from:
(a) Forcible compulsion; or
(b) Incapacity to consent; or
(c) Where the offense charged is sexual abuse or forcible touching,
any circumstances, in addition to forcible compulsion or incapacity to
consent, in which the victim does not expressly or impliedly acquiesce
in the actor's conduct...
3. A person is deemed incapable of consent when he or she is:
(a) less than seventeen years old; or
(b) mentally disabled; or
(c) mentally incapacitated; or
(d) physically helpless [...]
Whacked out on downers strikes me as pretty clearly within the meaning of § 130.05 (3)(c)-(d)
Your state/country may vary.
"Sex offenses; lack of consent."
1. Whether or not specifically stated, it is an element of every
offense defined in this article that the sexual act was committed
without consent of the victim.
2. Lack of consent results from:
(a) Forcible compulsion; or
(b) Incapacity to consent; or
(c) Where the offense charged is sexual abuse or forcible touching,
any circumstances, in addition to forcible compulsion or incapacity to
consent, in which the victim does not expressly or impliedly acquiesce
in the actor's conduct...
3. A person is deemed incapable of consent when he or she is:
(a) less than seventeen years old; or
(b) mentally disabled; or
(c) mentally incapacitated; or
(d) physically helpless [...]
Whacked out on downers strikes me as pretty clearly within the meaning of § 130.05 (3)(c)-(d)
Your state/country may vary.
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