kinda funny because anytime something happens that give me any type of worry I immediately think of dope.
sure, I am on Suboxone (8MG) now and have been clean since Aug but any anxiety/life problems I immediately want to go back to dope; sometimes I am not even sure what the problem is but its just something that works the mind and I immediately want to shut everything down; shoot dope, smile for a half second, and then go back to being miserable. kinda whacky, isnt it!? just stick a needle in the arm for a second!?
this morning I woke up late (1230PM) after waking up and taking my bupe yesterday at 6AM; so its been 30hrs since my last dose. well, I had some whacky late morning dreams of using and woke up w/ the urge to use; it was raining, cold and just a bit miserable out, so I felt that dope would be best. I seriously woke up thinking like that. luckily, I just ate the 8MG bupe and by 1PM I felt great, bright not-so-sunny day, but still felt on top of the world. seriously within an hour the whole day changed and my thoughts and outlook took a turn for the better.
now its almost midnight and I am just getting anxious waiting on "something" someone has to tell me. I think right away to come to BL and write something because the thought of drugs runs through my mind so why not openly blog about NOTHING to NOBODY but me; I wonder if anyone else gets these type of feelings?
well, I am done, chime in and let me know if you get these feelings or a I the only junkie/ex-junkie that does.
sure, I am on Suboxone (8MG) now and have been clean since Aug but any anxiety/life problems I immediately want to go back to dope; sometimes I am not even sure what the problem is but its just something that works the mind and I immediately want to shut everything down; shoot dope, smile for a half second, and then go back to being miserable. kinda whacky, isnt it!? just stick a needle in the arm for a second!?
this morning I woke up late (1230PM) after waking up and taking my bupe yesterday at 6AM; so its been 30hrs since my last dose. well, I had some whacky late morning dreams of using and woke up w/ the urge to use; it was raining, cold and just a bit miserable out, so I felt that dope would be best. I seriously woke up thinking like that. luckily, I just ate the 8MG bupe and by 1PM I felt great, bright not-so-sunny day, but still felt on top of the world. seriously within an hour the whole day changed and my thoughts and outlook took a turn for the better.
now its almost midnight and I am just getting anxious waiting on "something" someone has to tell me. I think right away to come to BL and write something because the thought of drugs runs through my mind so why not openly blog about NOTHING to NOBODY but me; I wonder if anyone else gets these type of feelings?
well, I am done, chime in and let me know if you get these feelings or a I the only junkie/ex-junkie that does.
