frostyangel
Bluelighter
Anger.
And it all begins so simple.
I can't refrain, from the evitable.
I want to stop it, my veins fight it.
Then all this begins once again..
Who knows who started raising their voice first. Who knows who said the first cutting word first. And I'll bet you, that you will forgive me ..
Before, I even begin to forgive myself.
And I don't understand why it is that I could get so angry inside. I could be one of the best moods ever, you know. And it would just disappear at the drop of a dime..
Why does this happen to me?
I just want to scream. And I hate the fact that on the inside I could get so angry,shake, tremble, and get all tore up inside.
And when I know I am going to explode. And I fight the urge that over takes my own battle. And afterward I start to feel as if I should be committed. For things that I am afraid I would do..if I just stop it before it begins.
I try all these new things to help me not be so angry on the inside. And sometimes, it works and then there are other times when I feel like a big ass. Where I feel like everyone is standing around me pointing at me and laughing at me saying "haha look at that stupid girl who can't control her emotions" where I feel as if I'll lose all my friends because no one will want to be around a person who demenstrates this lack of control.
But, wait..... it had already started to happen.
I must bite my tongue. But, then they tell me that I should stick up for the things I believe in.. and don't let that person walk all over you.. and in the end I always feel like the bad guy.. I always feel as if I did wrong.
They tried to give me doses of medication for this.
And it didn't find it's way to work for me..
I didn't like it.
Not one bit,
It only made me numb.
And when was that going to make me start feeling better inside about myself.
I couldn't laugh,
I couldn't cry.
I felt as if my insides and the memory of myself was dying inside...
And I'll I could do was stare.
I just wanted to disappear and make it all go away.
And it wouldn't.
I can't make it stop. I fight the tears that fall from my eyes. And I want to punch, kick anything to hurt it, and make the anger come out from the inside.
Can't you see? I am trying to help you understand the rage of the pain I feel, when I this happens.
I don't believe anyone can make this better.. all I need is time. Time to unwind. Run away. And maybe some day it will go away. I'll go away.
Fear is no longer here to stay.
So.....Give me a few hours.. then I just might feel okay.
And it all begins so simple.
I can't refrain, from the evitable.
I want to stop it, my veins fight it.
Then all this begins once again..
Who knows who started raising their voice first. Who knows who said the first cutting word first. And I'll bet you, that you will forgive me ..
Before, I even begin to forgive myself.
And I don't understand why it is that I could get so angry inside. I could be one of the best moods ever, you know. And it would just disappear at the drop of a dime..
Why does this happen to me?
I just want to scream. And I hate the fact that on the inside I could get so angry,shake, tremble, and get all tore up inside.
And when I know I am going to explode. And I fight the urge that over takes my own battle. And afterward I start to feel as if I should be committed. For things that I am afraid I would do..if I just stop it before it begins.
I try all these new things to help me not be so angry on the inside. And sometimes, it works and then there are other times when I feel like a big ass. Where I feel like everyone is standing around me pointing at me and laughing at me saying "haha look at that stupid girl who can't control her emotions" where I feel as if I'll lose all my friends because no one will want to be around a person who demenstrates this lack of control.
But, wait..... it had already started to happen.
I must bite my tongue. But, then they tell me that I should stick up for the things I believe in.. and don't let that person walk all over you.. and in the end I always feel like the bad guy.. I always feel as if I did wrong.
They tried to give me doses of medication for this.
And it didn't find it's way to work for me..
I didn't like it.
Not one bit,
It only made me numb.
And when was that going to make me start feeling better inside about myself.
I couldn't laugh,
I couldn't cry.
I felt as if my insides and the memory of myself was dying inside...
And I'll I could do was stare.
I just wanted to disappear and make it all go away.
And it wouldn't.
I can't make it stop. I fight the tears that fall from my eyes. And I want to punch, kick anything to hurt it, and make the anger come out from the inside.
Can't you see? I am trying to help you understand the rage of the pain I feel, when I this happens.
I don't believe anyone can make this better.. all I need is time. Time to unwind. Run away. And maybe some day it will go away. I'll go away.
Fear is no longer here to stay.
So.....Give me a few hours.. then I just might feel okay.
