Just came home and had a huge argument. I was hungry and havnt ate much in a few days...I cant eat on my own...and I drank the last few nights, not much, about a 3/4 bottle of wine tues, afull bottle wed's and Thurs and had 3-4 glasses last night. I feel so bored in the evenings I just cant handle it.
I am just feeling a huge loss and lack of purpose today. Im trying to keep my head above water but I feel lonely and without purpose. Also, I cant handle people at the moment because I dont feel like my sense of self is strong enough to manage.
Just wish I could transition through emotions properly but I just cant deal with them ATM. I cant handle feeling vulnerable, it makes me feel sick. I cant believe how out of control my anger was. I just dont want to eat much and i cant even manage that.
I feel like a burden on my parents. I am overly sensitive and cant get rid of it, I get too attached to everything and feel too needy. Im sick of hearing people act like their confident just because they get high. As if this makes them 'special' and important. Really dont know what to do or how I should be at the moment...if I could switch myself off I would. Have D txt'ing me how he misses me and I have to keep on saying to myself-he doesnt mean it, he only misses having a distraction, an object to make him feel warm. This sickens me too. Feel so old. Feeling sorry for myself and I cant stop it. Feel weak.
I am just feeling a huge loss and lack of purpose today. Im trying to keep my head above water but I feel lonely and without purpose. Also, I cant handle people at the moment because I dont feel like my sense of self is strong enough to manage.
Just wish I could transition through emotions properly but I just cant deal with them ATM. I cant handle feeling vulnerable, it makes me feel sick. I cant believe how out of control my anger was. I just dont want to eat much and i cant even manage that.I feel like a burden on my parents. I am overly sensitive and cant get rid of it, I get too attached to everything and feel too needy. Im sick of hearing people act like their confident just because they get high. As if this makes them 'special' and important. Really dont know what to do or how I should be at the moment...if I could switch myself off I would. Have D txt'ing me how he misses me and I have to keep on saying to myself-he doesnt mean it, he only misses having a distraction, an object to make him feel warm. This sickens me too. Feel so old. Feeling sorry for myself and I cant stop it. Feel weak.
