Mental Health Anger induced derealisation/depersonalisation?

[Jackeh]

I'm not 100% sure if this is DR/DP. I've experienced something similar once before thanks to synthetic cannabinoids, where every so often I would get a short-lived feeling that the world isn't real around me or it seems like I shouldn't be able to see it they way I am, almost like I know I feel like I'm in a dream but I know I'm not.

I'm not the kind of person who gets really angry, but for years someone in my family has been causing a lot of problems and instead of getting angry like I'd expect someone else too in the same situation, I've let it bottle up. Over the years it's gradually gotten worse and last Wednesday I finally snapped. Luckily I didn't hit anyone (it was a struggle not to just start throwing punches) but I shoved them at a wall and started screaming at them more than I've ever screamed at anyone before.

Thanks to this persons position in my family and the situation I'm in, it didn't go down too well and it's caused a lot more trouble in my family although one family member understands why I did what I did and thanked me for defending them. Everyone was surprised I hadn't snapped years ago.

The person I shoved and shouted at called the police on me and are trying to get me done for assault although they have assaulted other family members hundreds of times. Luckily the police haven't done anything to me.

After that event, I've been feeling weird. While talking to someone in the gym and while walking around I began to feel as if I shouldn't be talking to them and they shouldn't be capable of speaking, I was seeing people as if they were bags of meat. They still looked the same but it felt like it shouldn't be possible that they can speak. I've also been able to zone out when I'm sitting quietly and everything suddenly feels like the DR/DP like symptoms I once had from synthetic cannabinoids (although this time it feels slightly different).

Does anyone know if it's possibly my symptoms of DR/DP/whatever it is may have been caused by me finally breaking and screaming at someone? If not, does anyone know what else may have caused it and if there is anything I can do about it?

 

[Sun Drugs]

I have experienced some episodes of DR/DP myself due to synthetic cannobinoids/weed/psychedelics so I will give you my opinion. I would agree with you when you say that this incident has caused DR/DP. Now, don't see this as a bad thing. I tend to get DP/DR whenever something really out of the ordinary happens. That should makes sense -- your brain is trying to interpret some external stimuli into something it is familiar with but it is having trouble doing so because it is cannot find much.

Maybe that is what is happening here. You said it yourself -- you are not the kind of person who gets really angry, everyone was surprised you hadn't snapped years ago, etc. This incident is just something your brain has never experienced before, so perhaps it does not know how to respond just yet.

Just give yourself some time, and realize that this is just a phase that will pass. You will be fine.

Just my two cents

 

[herbavore]

It sounds like you are having a very natural reaction in an abusive family. Abuse in families demands that everyone shut up and pretend it isn't happening. The family as a whole takes it on to hide the dysfunction because there is shame and fear of the unknown.

I don't know how old you are but if this person in your family is a parent you do not need to protect them. It sounds like a very stressful situation and you might want to seek out some form of counseling to help you put things in perspective and get some outside support so that you can confront the situation in a safer way. When you are forced to repress feelings and reactions to a crazy dynamic like this, it can mess with your head for years.

 

[Jackeh]

Actually, I was protecting a parent from a 15 year old who hits their parents, but because of the situation no one will deal with them, I think they might be crazy in some way but nothing has been done about it.

I've been to a counsellor before for social anxiety but I left after a short while. I don't really like counsellors or social workers, for some reason I feel like they are trying to trick me.

EDIT: This probably sounds like I'm exaggerating, but she constantly is shouting, hitting her parents, pushing them, screaming things at them to make it seem like they are in the wrong (for example, she shouts help or calls one of them a pedophile in the hope that a neighbour will call the police, neither of them have done anything to deserve that from her).

 

[spork]

Please trust me when I say they're not trying to trick you. They have your best interests in mind and want to help you in whatever way possible. They wouldn't be in the career that they are in if it was otherwise.

 

[phactor]

Jackeh - As a former social worker, I can assure you that 99.9 percent of them want to help. Same goes for Counselors. Now, I will admit that my clients and I were not always the perfect match. But if that was the case then we would switch and trade cases with our fellow social workers. Every counselor/social worker has their own style. Do not give up and do not push away help. Give it an honest shot.

I will tell you that social work is one of the most intense grinds I have ever experienced. Burnout is very high right now, try to remember that when you are dealing with them. It is very hard work for very little pay. I eventually burned out and it was not pretty.