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An Explanation

Dagny

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 20, 2000
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3,326
And there at her work she sits.
Engulfed by the dim aura of a candle she has forgotten she set spark to all those hours ago.
Gaze on her brow and you'll see lines there, bourne of passion.
The kind that only the truly devoted can know.
The kind that comes of love for a thing understood by few, cared for by even less.
She'll not sleep tonight, this she accepts.
When she does there will be dreams of the work she may not finish in this her life.
How much of a woman goes into her creations, how little of her she keeps for herself, so minute the bit of her heart she may not see broken as she trades loves for answers.
A crapshoot, this thing some call work.
No such sure thing, this thing a blessed few know with devotion.
And there the woman continues to sit.
There are pains in her legs, aches in her arms, yet her mind oblivous to all outside of the precision in her movements.
Never her table knows of sit-down dinners.
Not once has the den been ensconced by lite conversations and lighter laughter.
Whispers abound - as they will when a person is not to be understood. When others replace misunderstanding with an easier-to-stomach pity.
She'll not hear them, as she sits.
She'll not heed them, as she lives.
What is this woman who knows no man.
Who knows no children.
Whose home knows no use outside of a practicality named survival.
Fewer than a hundred comprehend her conversation.
Lower than a dozen would care for comprehension.
All of the aches, the silence, and the dim candles will not keep her from a lonely death.
And yet the world shall rejoice at her project-not-yet-finished if she succeeds.
But if she does it...
When she reaches the right fit that keeps her toiling all these sleepless nights...
At the brief interlude of space and time and knowledge...
You will all know her name then.
But never many will know her heart.
She will cure your cancers and not accept your pity.
I am a scientist.
And this is existence, chosen.
 
The "I am a Scientist part"- can you explain. I've read this about 4 times and each time the ending throws me off. It could be that the narrator is saying that they are a scantiest (this would explain the examining of the woman with such elaborate detail) OR this could be the woman finally speaking simply stating that she is a scientist (which would explain some of the disattachment thought the piece) OR this could be you talking. Fill me in. I'm sure I'm wrong on both accounts but nonetheless your writing obviously has skill... I've become engrossed! "Idealism is Contagious"-DjDemoDirect.Co.Uk
 
And there the woman continues to sit.
There are pains in her legs, aches in her arms, yet her mind oblivous to all outside of the precision in her movements.
Never her table knows of sit-down dinners.
Not once has the den been ensconced by lite conversations and lighter laughter.
Whispers abound - as they will when a person is not to be understood. When others replace misunderstanding with an easier-to-stomach pity.
She'll not hear them, as she sits.
She'll not heed them, as she lives.
*sigh* few understand an all encompasing need to finish something so important. im always happy when some do.
-pb-
 
I suppose in some ways this is a poetic, hazy view of myself. Mostly it's about anyone who has ever known what it is to be driven by something so violently that the other parts of their lives become non-existent.
This is the me when I am in a laboratory. This is the me when I am chin-deep in the world of chemicals and equations. And this is the me that is mine alone, that makes me whole and takes away part of my soul with it. It's a choice we make when we love something so much (like science). We give up part of ourselves with it, necessarily. And while it can be sad, it is also beautiful. I am describing everywoman, but doing it as me. A scientist. Does that explain anything? I hope so. :)
 
Sweetie, we are so close. So close I can feel the air. :)
(getting quotes from movers, picking dates to start packing, preparing the great yard sale of 2002, waiting...)
 
hi,
what a mad vision you paint.
the language you've chosen here, it's so strange. it's almost like watson describing holmes as he sits at his acid stained table, creating some new chemical concoction(sic) to detect blood on a scarf used in a violent murder.
i know that feeling of the great gray cloud that takes the form of human hands and drags you to your lab. for me, those hands carry me delicately yet forceably to my typewriter, or here to this computer. that gray cloud hovers above me, prodding me. how many hours have i sat in front of a blank page or flickering monitor. it sounds like a cliche', but oh how true it is. a writers life is lonely, but i was never given the chance to choose another. and i wouldn't have it any other way. god gave me eyes to see, ears to hear, a nose to smell sweet scents, a tongue to taste and fingers to type. i don't know whether to rejoice in your good fortune at finding your calling, or pity you, for the life of isolation that rolls out ahead of you in one huge plain.
my, but that this conversation took a turn toward the somber.
i'm sorry. allow me to leave you with a smile on my face and the sun dancing raindrops off your autumn windowpanes.
seemore
 
sweetie, you have quite the beautiful mind
and devotion is devotion, regardless of the content. it is respected for the emotional and mental intensity we find ourselves engaged in, a state that is rare amongst the breadth of life's creation, and unfortunately increasingly getting rarer amongst human life in general
 
then perhaps one of our greatest challenges will be to keep it going.
this is why i love you. :)
 
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