dear fuck diary,
today has been...the shittiest day that i can recall in about half a year's time. not a horrendous one...no...fuck you. no one died, nothing catastrophic happened. it's just been a shitty, shitty day that involves several factors wedged together in close proximity. let me start from when my eyes rolled open two hours after they should have. the asshole that screams loud music in my face at what i like to call "satan's hours of fuck you" had apparently decided it wasnt going to fulfill its only purpose of existence. i immediately jumped out of the warm comfort of my bed and ran to the coffee maker while frantically dialing numbers to the places i was late to. both parties were utterly perturbed.
i burned my tongue with terribly weak coffee as i finally reached my car, completely forgetting about the mountainous terrain of snow that lay on top and behind. once i finished getting all of that the fuck off, i was off to take my daughter to school and somehow managed to spill the remaining coffee not only on myself, but on practically the entire steering wheel.
at work i had to park in a more unusual spot due to excess automobiles, but luckily my g-pa was there to ensure i knew i was a dumbass by yelling and pointing and calling me a dumbass (hilarious even at the time). throughout the time i was there i hit my head on every watering head, missed a step, dropped various items including my cigarettes in a puddle of water and nine trays of dry soil six packs. i may possibly have broken my g-ma's coffee maker (when she gets back i plan to call), i got one of those little white things in top soil lodged within the corner of my eye, and i was forced to listen to 94.9 country for the greater part of the day.
as im leaving, i pull out, i drive maybe twenty feet until i hear a siren. apparently i have a busted tail light and just as i roll my window back up i see my papa on his front porch laughing, pointing, and slapping his knee. i wave, he gives me the finger, and i head to where i am now.
and im not going anywhere for the rest of the day. what's fuck weird is that i love these fucking days. i love to not only bitch about it but to make it funny because that's what it is.
"life is what you take it as, so dont take it so fucking seriously"
-me g-pa
today has been...the shittiest day that i can recall in about half a year's time. not a horrendous one...no...fuck you. no one died, nothing catastrophic happened. it's just been a shitty, shitty day that involves several factors wedged together in close proximity. let me start from when my eyes rolled open two hours after they should have. the asshole that screams loud music in my face at what i like to call "satan's hours of fuck you" had apparently decided it wasnt going to fulfill its only purpose of existence. i immediately jumped out of the warm comfort of my bed and ran to the coffee maker while frantically dialing numbers to the places i was late to. both parties were utterly perturbed.
i burned my tongue with terribly weak coffee as i finally reached my car, completely forgetting about the mountainous terrain of snow that lay on top and behind. once i finished getting all of that the fuck off, i was off to take my daughter to school and somehow managed to spill the remaining coffee not only on myself, but on practically the entire steering wheel.
at work i had to park in a more unusual spot due to excess automobiles, but luckily my g-pa was there to ensure i knew i was a dumbass by yelling and pointing and calling me a dumbass (hilarious even at the time). throughout the time i was there i hit my head on every watering head, missed a step, dropped various items including my cigarettes in a puddle of water and nine trays of dry soil six packs. i may possibly have broken my g-ma's coffee maker (when she gets back i plan to call), i got one of those little white things in top soil lodged within the corner of my eye, and i was forced to listen to 94.9 country for the greater part of the day.
as im leaving, i pull out, i drive maybe twenty feet until i hear a siren. apparently i have a busted tail light and just as i roll my window back up i see my papa on his front porch laughing, pointing, and slapping his knee. i wave, he gives me the finger, and i head to where i am now.
and im not going anywhere for the rest of the day. what's fuck weird is that i love these fucking days. i love to not only bitch about it but to make it funny because that's what it is.
"life is what you take it as, so dont take it so fucking seriously"
-me g-pa
