guy1234
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jan 8, 2010
- Messages
- 299
This is my most recent aMT experience which I have only just started to recover from and which has given me and my friend a whole new respect for this drug.
I have experience aMT before at doses up to 100mg and have had intensely visual and fun trips (here is a trip report to one of my previous experiences: http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/showthread.php?t=542125 ). However these have always been social and purely light hearted trips. The one I am about to recount took a serious and destructive turn.
Prior drug experience: mephedrone, methylone, 6-APB, amphetamine, cocaine, cannabis, ketamine, nitrous, salvia, alcohol, MDMA, psilocybin mushrooms and assorted pills.
sex: male
Age: 17
Weight: about 150lbs.
The trip:
The setting for the trip was my friend J’s caravan. I arrived there at about 2pm in the afternoon and at once we worked out around 80-90mg for him and about 125mgs (quite a high dose) for me. Wrapped in a rizla and down the hatch.
T+01:00 J says he may be experiencing some mild nausea. I am fine and am starting to experience some minor rushes of euphoria and the usual aMT talkativeness and socialness.
T+02:00 I am starting to get minor visuals such as objects in the caravan breathing and some rippling and an ‘enriched’ look that I always get on aMT where it seems that things have been painted out of oils, or have movie style lighting. J’s nausea has subsided but he still says he isn’t feeling much although he seems more social than usual.
T+03:00 my visuals are kicking off, with objects in the caravan rippling and some major colour distortion with much breathing and tracers. I am now able to make out patterns in surfaces, some seem to be made out of the surfaces (such as seeing unreadable 3D letters moving through the wooden table) and some are just being formed from rainbow style lines that emerge from these surfaces. The social aspect of the drug has been amplified and J suddenly realises that he is getting visuals. We have been concentrating on conversation about various topics so he had not realised until now what he has been missing.
T+05:00 we are already speculating about doing more. For the moment the drug was purely social for us. We just sat in the caravan alone and chatted about what we were seeing and how we felt and things to do. The visuals are now quite intense, to the extent that if I stare at J for long enough his face distorts to an almost unrecognisable level. But it is still all in a spirit of fun. One thing that I have noticed before on aMT is the incredibly irritating body feeling. There just seems to always be a huge weight or drunken stoned lack of motivation to do anything but while being unable to move, any place I am, I always seem uncomfortable and can’t seem to get a good viewpoint. It is exhausting.
T+08:00 the effects seem to have peaked and plateaued. There are patterns and colours everywhere but the inescapable quality of aMT, i.e. EVERYTHING is tripping and moving and rippling all the time like the world has just been infected, has started to give me a headache which is really quite irritating. J seems to be fine and we continue socialising while my headache slowly builds.
T+11:00 the visuals are becoming slightly wearing and my headache has not gotten better. Starting to get that ‘I kind of wish it’d all go away’ feeling. Me and J both comment that the visuals are fair incredible but somehow the trip has no ‘direction’. Like whereas with mushrooms, the visuals are not always as intense but there is always that feeling of exploration and looking for new things. But with aMT all we seemed to be able to do was lie there and let it do its own thing. At this point it was still very much more a social drug although the visuals contributed to the feeling.
T+12:00 we are now so fucked that we are incapable of doing much but slouching around and chatting. This utterly, completely intoxicated feeling leads us to the bright idea to drop some more. We try to eyeball 75mg more each (in itself a ridiculous dose considering how much we’d done already) but the lines kept shifting and wriggling and moving all over the case occasionally morphing into caterpillars or other things. But we feel the only way to give this trip any real depth, direction, or connection between feeling and visual is to just drop a hell of a lot more. I want to state that NORMALLY WE WOULD NOT HAVE THOUGHT LIKE THIS! We finally sort out somewhere between 75-100mg each and drop it in a rizla.
T+12:40 my headache has intensified and we are both having second thoughts about re-dosing. We are already getting a mounting feeling of something creeping up on us and we both know we’re in for something intense. The only way I can make my headache mildly bearable is to stand up and walk around and relieve some energy. The visuals are now painfully everywhere enough to just make me want to curl and just not be.
T+13:00 J is feeling that the trip is building. I feel the same but my headache is splitting now and I throw up several times out the door of the caravan. Feeling really awful at this point and we are both feeling a mounting feeling of unease.
T+14:00 visuals are definitely intensifying. Although my headache has blessedly disappeared, there is a growing panic that I cannot shake. With the visuals rapidly picking up pace, and the fearful realisation of how much we’ve done and how there is absolutely no escape from it, the trip from here on seems to gain a horrible out of control feeling.
T+15:00 this is the real turning point. Up until now J and I have had a reasonable time, just talking and discussing the trip, but not becoming involved heart and soul. Just appreciating what was happening. J and I are really good friends and are always down to earth. But now the drug broke something between us. We were no longer each other’s points of sanity in an insane world. J seemed to think I was angry with him. He just would not get it out of his head that I was somehow being turned against him. I kept trying to reassure him that I was fine and there had never been any bad feeling throughout the whole trip but he would not be convinced. I was starting to get worried at this point about him and I knew we had done far too much. We both had a weird certainty that we were overdosing.
T+15:30 I am now certain that J is fucking up. But he now believes also that I’m in serious trouble. He thinks that I’m suffering from a serious medical problem from the trip and am hiding it from him. The trust and sanity we took for granted is gone. There is now just a horrible poisonous pool of mistrust and paranoia, whatever I say to J he just believes is me trying to tell him something else secretly and I cannot convince him otherwise. It is so desperate that we start to think we might have to ring an ambulance as everything is getting out of control because we have no idea what is real and we are so mentally messed up we cannot make a sound judgement on anything. It is the nature of aMT that it infects every single part of your reality, and makes it trip, there is no escape. Me and J are caught between blind fear, paranoia and all-embracing panic that we can never get away from this drug and there is nothing we can do. I can’t get it out of my head that J is going to snap and attack me, and he can’t get it out of his head that I’m lying to him and that I’m going to die. I have literally never felt anything like it from any drug. I’ve never had my mind so utterly, utterly broken. We were mad, we were psychotic, and we were completely incapable of doing anything to make it better to the point where we were wishing we could just die to escape and the only thing stopping us was the fear that we might be dying already. The only reason we did not ring an ambulance was that we were tripping too hard to operate a phone and that in our destroyed mental state we would not have been able to deal with the drama and the invasion of our own horrifically distorted world by other humans, who he have had no contact with thus far.
T+16:30 we are defeated, this drug has beaten us and despite the mistrust and the incredibly fearful tension between us, all we can do is lie in the caravan’s bed and hug each other wishing it would end. To try and calm us down, I (in desperation) suggest we go for a walk to look for cigarettes (as we ran out hours ago). J warily accepts and we do not exchange any more words as we leave the caravan. The first thing I notice is how wild and completely awesome the world at night time is on this dose of aMT, all is wild and raw and the trees and grass do some fucking beautiful things, morphing and transforming and whipping about. It is like a storm of terrifyingly beautiful visuals. Despite this amazing sight this does not get through to us as we cannot stop looking at each other just in case one of us does something stupid. We walk to the bus stop and sit (walking is very difficult, our balance is gone and we can hardly see well enough to know where we’re stepping also we still feeling like we’re on the brink of losing everything so it’s hard to focus), every car looking like a police car or an ambulance. I had a suspicion that J had called an ambulance without me knowing. And after the trip J admitted the he thought the suggested walk was a trick so I could take HIM to wait for an ambulance. I suspected he thought that so I took him back to the caravan as we were both freezing.
T+17:00 when we return, despite the horrible feeling that we had been poisoned and that our minds were damaged, the world didn’t seem quite such an inescapable place. I started to try and replace our horrible, horrible helplessness with a bit of hope. Within the space of about five minutes, I almost FELT aMT decide that we were done, and we couldn’t take anymore, and relinquish its iron hold on my mind. It was a relief, I was still scared, but I felt like I might be able to control the situation more now. I used this knowledge to tell J that I thought it might be wearing off. I could see the desperate hope in his eyes as his tormented face looked at me. I continued to talk to him, stabilizing him and me as I went.
T+18:00 through some incomprehensible effort of will and mental strain, we somehow managed to bring things back under some semblance of control. We were once again able to discuss the trip and we brought back a delicate bridge of trust between us. We were united again, against the enemy of the unknown. We were able to recount our feelings about what had just happened and discuss why and what went on. It was a real bonding time. We referred to our torture as ‘when we were over there’ as we were no longer laid on the bed but were now sat on the sofas at the opposite end of the caravan. We remarked on how we had wanted a direction and a journey to the trip, and how aMT had granted our wishes by fucking us over worse than we had ever felt before.
T+20:00 at this point conversation died out a bit as we noticed just how stupidly intense the visuals were. It had been driven from our mind by the intensity of our breakdown but now we acted like kids, exploring all the cool stuff we could see. This is probably the most intensely visual drug experience I have ever had. Me and J just stared at each other and I watched as he would literally just transform into things. No ‘breathing’ or ‘colour morphing’, I would actually see him before my eyes change into something else. Seals, seahorses, Wallace and Gromit style clay vision, actors, lumberjacks and sometimes the caravan would dissolve around with him and the normal trippiness would escalate and my world would dissolve into vaguely caravan coloured bleeding fractal pattern, mosaic, kaleidoscope things.
T+21:00 J’s face is now turning into weirder and weirder things such as blocks of cheese, weird lumps of odd coloured play dough with maybe the odd eye and carved blocks of wood amongst others.
T+24:00 the visuals seem to be winding down a bit now and we feel the tension that it could ‘still go down that bad path’ ease a bit. It remained with us up until now because the effects of the drug never got less intense, we just managed to calm down, but we always felt that the ‘over there’ evil was just a step away. But now the visuals and feeling were now akin to those at about
T+05:00. Mainly just patterns, colours and rippling everywhere but still some very interesting morphing when we worked up the courage to brave the cold of the outside. By this point we were just mentally exhausted and didn’t want to have to deal with the world gone crazy anymore. There was still the feeling of no escape and the insanely groggy body feeling.
T+26:00 I leave the caravan, still tripping puzzlingly intensely and go home, instantly to fall asleep
AFTERMATH
It is 5 days later and I’m still not better. My mind doesn’t feel like it’s recovered, if I’m outside or with people I will start to panic. I’m now twitchy and constantly paranoid and people around me have commented on how I’m not normal and am always ‘sketchy’. The world just seems to be a lot scarier place now and everything is a threat.
Conclusion? Don’t overdose! By this I don’t mean fatal overdose, I mean dose more than is suggested, or dose enough that its likely to give you a bad experience mentally and physically. If I did aMT again I’d stick to something like 50mg for the social aspects.
I failed to respect aMT, and it fought back and savaged me and my friend in a way nothing else could. RESPECT THIS SHIT
Guy1234
I have experience aMT before at doses up to 100mg and have had intensely visual and fun trips (here is a trip report to one of my previous experiences: http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/showthread.php?t=542125 ). However these have always been social and purely light hearted trips. The one I am about to recount took a serious and destructive turn.
Prior drug experience: mephedrone, methylone, 6-APB, amphetamine, cocaine, cannabis, ketamine, nitrous, salvia, alcohol, MDMA, psilocybin mushrooms and assorted pills.
sex: male
Age: 17
Weight: about 150lbs.
The trip:
The setting for the trip was my friend J’s caravan. I arrived there at about 2pm in the afternoon and at once we worked out around 80-90mg for him and about 125mgs (quite a high dose) for me. Wrapped in a rizla and down the hatch.
T+01:00 J says he may be experiencing some mild nausea. I am fine and am starting to experience some minor rushes of euphoria and the usual aMT talkativeness and socialness.
T+02:00 I am starting to get minor visuals such as objects in the caravan breathing and some rippling and an ‘enriched’ look that I always get on aMT where it seems that things have been painted out of oils, or have movie style lighting. J’s nausea has subsided but he still says he isn’t feeling much although he seems more social than usual.
T+03:00 my visuals are kicking off, with objects in the caravan rippling and some major colour distortion with much breathing and tracers. I am now able to make out patterns in surfaces, some seem to be made out of the surfaces (such as seeing unreadable 3D letters moving through the wooden table) and some are just being formed from rainbow style lines that emerge from these surfaces. The social aspect of the drug has been amplified and J suddenly realises that he is getting visuals. We have been concentrating on conversation about various topics so he had not realised until now what he has been missing.
T+05:00 we are already speculating about doing more. For the moment the drug was purely social for us. We just sat in the caravan alone and chatted about what we were seeing and how we felt and things to do. The visuals are now quite intense, to the extent that if I stare at J for long enough his face distorts to an almost unrecognisable level. But it is still all in a spirit of fun. One thing that I have noticed before on aMT is the incredibly irritating body feeling. There just seems to always be a huge weight or drunken stoned lack of motivation to do anything but while being unable to move, any place I am, I always seem uncomfortable and can’t seem to get a good viewpoint. It is exhausting.
T+08:00 the effects seem to have peaked and plateaued. There are patterns and colours everywhere but the inescapable quality of aMT, i.e. EVERYTHING is tripping and moving and rippling all the time like the world has just been infected, has started to give me a headache which is really quite irritating. J seems to be fine and we continue socialising while my headache slowly builds.
T+11:00 the visuals are becoming slightly wearing and my headache has not gotten better. Starting to get that ‘I kind of wish it’d all go away’ feeling. Me and J both comment that the visuals are fair incredible but somehow the trip has no ‘direction’. Like whereas with mushrooms, the visuals are not always as intense but there is always that feeling of exploration and looking for new things. But with aMT all we seemed to be able to do was lie there and let it do its own thing. At this point it was still very much more a social drug although the visuals contributed to the feeling.
T+12:00 we are now so fucked that we are incapable of doing much but slouching around and chatting. This utterly, completely intoxicated feeling leads us to the bright idea to drop some more. We try to eyeball 75mg more each (in itself a ridiculous dose considering how much we’d done already) but the lines kept shifting and wriggling and moving all over the case occasionally morphing into caterpillars or other things. But we feel the only way to give this trip any real depth, direction, or connection between feeling and visual is to just drop a hell of a lot more. I want to state that NORMALLY WE WOULD NOT HAVE THOUGHT LIKE THIS! We finally sort out somewhere between 75-100mg each and drop it in a rizla.
T+12:40 my headache has intensified and we are both having second thoughts about re-dosing. We are already getting a mounting feeling of something creeping up on us and we both know we’re in for something intense. The only way I can make my headache mildly bearable is to stand up and walk around and relieve some energy. The visuals are now painfully everywhere enough to just make me want to curl and just not be.
T+13:00 J is feeling that the trip is building. I feel the same but my headache is splitting now and I throw up several times out the door of the caravan. Feeling really awful at this point and we are both feeling a mounting feeling of unease.
T+14:00 visuals are definitely intensifying. Although my headache has blessedly disappeared, there is a growing panic that I cannot shake. With the visuals rapidly picking up pace, and the fearful realisation of how much we’ve done and how there is absolutely no escape from it, the trip from here on seems to gain a horrible out of control feeling.
T+15:00 this is the real turning point. Up until now J and I have had a reasonable time, just talking and discussing the trip, but not becoming involved heart and soul. Just appreciating what was happening. J and I are really good friends and are always down to earth. But now the drug broke something between us. We were no longer each other’s points of sanity in an insane world. J seemed to think I was angry with him. He just would not get it out of his head that I was somehow being turned against him. I kept trying to reassure him that I was fine and there had never been any bad feeling throughout the whole trip but he would not be convinced. I was starting to get worried at this point about him and I knew we had done far too much. We both had a weird certainty that we were overdosing.
T+15:30 I am now certain that J is fucking up. But he now believes also that I’m in serious trouble. He thinks that I’m suffering from a serious medical problem from the trip and am hiding it from him. The trust and sanity we took for granted is gone. There is now just a horrible poisonous pool of mistrust and paranoia, whatever I say to J he just believes is me trying to tell him something else secretly and I cannot convince him otherwise. It is so desperate that we start to think we might have to ring an ambulance as everything is getting out of control because we have no idea what is real and we are so mentally messed up we cannot make a sound judgement on anything. It is the nature of aMT that it infects every single part of your reality, and makes it trip, there is no escape. Me and J are caught between blind fear, paranoia and all-embracing panic that we can never get away from this drug and there is nothing we can do. I can’t get it out of my head that J is going to snap and attack me, and he can’t get it out of his head that I’m lying to him and that I’m going to die. I have literally never felt anything like it from any drug. I’ve never had my mind so utterly, utterly broken. We were mad, we were psychotic, and we were completely incapable of doing anything to make it better to the point where we were wishing we could just die to escape and the only thing stopping us was the fear that we might be dying already. The only reason we did not ring an ambulance was that we were tripping too hard to operate a phone and that in our destroyed mental state we would not have been able to deal with the drama and the invasion of our own horrifically distorted world by other humans, who he have had no contact with thus far.
T+16:30 we are defeated, this drug has beaten us and despite the mistrust and the incredibly fearful tension between us, all we can do is lie in the caravan’s bed and hug each other wishing it would end. To try and calm us down, I (in desperation) suggest we go for a walk to look for cigarettes (as we ran out hours ago). J warily accepts and we do not exchange any more words as we leave the caravan. The first thing I notice is how wild and completely awesome the world at night time is on this dose of aMT, all is wild and raw and the trees and grass do some fucking beautiful things, morphing and transforming and whipping about. It is like a storm of terrifyingly beautiful visuals. Despite this amazing sight this does not get through to us as we cannot stop looking at each other just in case one of us does something stupid. We walk to the bus stop and sit (walking is very difficult, our balance is gone and we can hardly see well enough to know where we’re stepping also we still feeling like we’re on the brink of losing everything so it’s hard to focus), every car looking like a police car or an ambulance. I had a suspicion that J had called an ambulance without me knowing. And after the trip J admitted the he thought the suggested walk was a trick so I could take HIM to wait for an ambulance. I suspected he thought that so I took him back to the caravan as we were both freezing.
T+17:00 when we return, despite the horrible feeling that we had been poisoned and that our minds were damaged, the world didn’t seem quite such an inescapable place. I started to try and replace our horrible, horrible helplessness with a bit of hope. Within the space of about five minutes, I almost FELT aMT decide that we were done, and we couldn’t take anymore, and relinquish its iron hold on my mind. It was a relief, I was still scared, but I felt like I might be able to control the situation more now. I used this knowledge to tell J that I thought it might be wearing off. I could see the desperate hope in his eyes as his tormented face looked at me. I continued to talk to him, stabilizing him and me as I went.
T+18:00 through some incomprehensible effort of will and mental strain, we somehow managed to bring things back under some semblance of control. We were once again able to discuss the trip and we brought back a delicate bridge of trust between us. We were united again, against the enemy of the unknown. We were able to recount our feelings about what had just happened and discuss why and what went on. It was a real bonding time. We referred to our torture as ‘when we were over there’ as we were no longer laid on the bed but were now sat on the sofas at the opposite end of the caravan. We remarked on how we had wanted a direction and a journey to the trip, and how aMT had granted our wishes by fucking us over worse than we had ever felt before.
T+20:00 at this point conversation died out a bit as we noticed just how stupidly intense the visuals were. It had been driven from our mind by the intensity of our breakdown but now we acted like kids, exploring all the cool stuff we could see. This is probably the most intensely visual drug experience I have ever had. Me and J just stared at each other and I watched as he would literally just transform into things. No ‘breathing’ or ‘colour morphing’, I would actually see him before my eyes change into something else. Seals, seahorses, Wallace and Gromit style clay vision, actors, lumberjacks and sometimes the caravan would dissolve around with him and the normal trippiness would escalate and my world would dissolve into vaguely caravan coloured bleeding fractal pattern, mosaic, kaleidoscope things.
T+21:00 J’s face is now turning into weirder and weirder things such as blocks of cheese, weird lumps of odd coloured play dough with maybe the odd eye and carved blocks of wood amongst others.
T+24:00 the visuals seem to be winding down a bit now and we feel the tension that it could ‘still go down that bad path’ ease a bit. It remained with us up until now because the effects of the drug never got less intense, we just managed to calm down, but we always felt that the ‘over there’ evil was just a step away. But now the visuals and feeling were now akin to those at about
T+05:00. Mainly just patterns, colours and rippling everywhere but still some very interesting morphing when we worked up the courage to brave the cold of the outside. By this point we were just mentally exhausted and didn’t want to have to deal with the world gone crazy anymore. There was still the feeling of no escape and the insanely groggy body feeling.
T+26:00 I leave the caravan, still tripping puzzlingly intensely and go home, instantly to fall asleep
AFTERMATH
It is 5 days later and I’m still not better. My mind doesn’t feel like it’s recovered, if I’m outside or with people I will start to panic. I’m now twitchy and constantly paranoid and people around me have commented on how I’m not normal and am always ‘sketchy’. The world just seems to be a lot scarier place now and everything is a threat.
Conclusion? Don’t overdose! By this I don’t mean fatal overdose, I mean dose more than is suggested, or dose enough that its likely to give you a bad experience mentally and physically. If I did aMT again I’d stick to something like 50mg for the social aspects.
I failed to respect aMT, and it fought back and savaged me and my friend in a way nothing else could. RESPECT THIS SHIT
Guy1234