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Amphetamines don't affect me the way they should

sun milk

sun milk

Greenlighter
Joined
Sep 21, 2011
Messages
19
Okay, first of all, let me just say this: I have Myclonic epilepsy. I was diagnosed when I was 13 and am still struggling with it at 18 years old. I'm mentioning this because I feel that this may play a role in how amphetamines affect me. Also, I'm pretty sure that the people on this forum are chill (I'm new here, so I don't really know), but I would really appreciate it if nobody tells me that I "shouldn't be doing these kinds of drugs" because of my epilepsy.
Another thing - I don't do them anymore. This topic has just been on my mind ever since I noticed that these drugs were not working properly.

It started when I was 16. I was prescribed Adderall for my (what was thought to be at the time) ADD (I later was told, after a 5-day EEG, that my brain was constantly having very, very minute seizures that mimick the effects of ADD). The day I took my first Adderall was on a school morning, and it was the best feeling I'd ever felt. I was on top of the world and got a B on a test that I would have normally failed. I felt no negative side effects and the comedown was smooth and steady; no crash. Then the next day, I took it again. This time it didn't affect me at all. My vision was sort of blurry but that was it. I tried higher dosages and it eventually made me feel like absolute shit. I felt like I was cracked out (I have never smoked crack but that's the best way I can describe it) and I turned into an emotionless zombie. I literally couldn't even smile, it was like my face was stuck in place. After that I tried Ritalin which didn't do anything whatsoever, and after that I tried Concerta which made me feel cracked out again. I literally couldn't stop talking. Words were just coming out of my mouth and I had no control over it. I didn't sleep or eat for two days.

When I was 16 I tried "thizz," and I knew that you risk getting a bunch of crap mixed in with the actual, main drug, but I did it anyway. I turned into a zombie. It was hard to smile. I couldn't stop talking, though. The comedown was horrible. Nausea, no eating the day after that, emotionless etc.

About a half a year later, I tried MDMA. I knew the stuff was good because of its source. I snorted one line, waited for it to kick in, and felt nothing. Everybody else felt it. I did another line. Waited. Nothing. One more line... waited... nothing.

Last year I tried cocaine, which I also knew was good because of its source. Like MDMA, it did absolutely nothing, while the others felt it.

Does anybody know why all of that happened?
 
Welcome to BL!

I doubt anyone on BL will be able to conclusively answer your question. It seems your internal chemistry is pretty unique. The only thing I can say is that snorting MDMA is not the best way to try MDMA. You should have still felt it, but I feel like dropping is a better option for testing the waters with MDMA.
 
Sucks that youll never get to feel true euphoria :(

Wow you are quite unique
 
Hahah, yeah, my Neurologist told me that I'm one of the hardest cases he's ever had. And he's "the best." Of/in what? I'm not sure. But that's what he told me.
Kind of a bummer...

And I have felt euphoria that one time on Adderall and numerous times on mushies :)
Thank you guys for your answers, I appreciate it!
 
I also have never felt any euphoria from any stimulant, including mdma. All any of them did was keep me awake and make me paranoid. But psychs always gave me plenty of euphoria, as do most downers. I guess everyone's brain-chemistry is just different. I always thought that the fact that I was on an SSRI for a year played a role in this......but it seemed to only effect stims, not other serotonergic substances such as psychs.
 
Yeah. I was on a lot of different antidepressants over the course of me trying those substances. I suppose I should have mentioned that, too. I'm not on an antidepressant anymore so I really don't know if anything would work now.
When I did MDMA and cocaine they didn't even make me feel awake and alert. More like kinda sleepy and aloof.
 
SSRIs would definitely make a differance, but Ive heard that people with ADD/ADHD dont get high off it, it works like its supposed to. But only like 1/8 of the people prescribed it have ADD, but thats another story.

A lot of the people on it (that need it) hate the stuff because it makes them feel like a "zombie". Heard that term a lot, along with all the other side effects of speed, but without the high most of the time.
 
"Zombie" is definitely the right word for how Adderall etc. makes me feel. I can take it with a benzo though, such as Clonazepam, and it gives me sort of a calm, almost sleepy feeling. I feel really good emotionally but I don't feel euphoric. It takes away from my real personality a little bit, too. Like as if I'm just on cognitive autopilot.

Another thing I've noticed is that when I do that, my body gets tingly. Mainly in my fingers, the crown of my head and sometimes my legs.
 
The weird thing is though is that it actually makes it harder for me to concentrate because I'm in a "cloud."

But yeah. :P I totally get what you're saying.
 
A long history of SSRI/anti-depressant use can seriously fuck with your brain chemistry. I believe some people suffer from the side effects of SSRIs even if they haven't used them in the last 18 months.
 
I know. :/ I hate the fact that I've basically poisoned my brain with all of the shit I was prescribed. I weaned off of Cymbalta in May - one of the worst experiences of my life. I still feel the side effects of the weaning (no brain zaps though, thank god)... all in all, I hate SSRIs. Well, pharms in general.
 
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