Hi, I will try to write something about my past-present life with the use/abuse of Amphetamines.
Firstly let's put I never tried any type of Amphetamines or other similar combos ppl here describe as daily medication. All sleep/pain, other harder psych pills for anxiety or some similar things ppl here wrote, honestly I have never put in my body. Especially big fucking NO-GO was even the thought take a pill to go to sleep.
Also about my normal lifestyle being a 100% non-smoker of any sort, even weed never tried smoking, only 2 times eat a chocolate-cake edible option, and drinking only social type when going out but that stopped in early 2010. Since I can remember I have always been an active sporty guy and that was part of me till the present day. Even in the past in the warmer part of the year my sports activities didn't suffer as even I used Amphetamines being awake, without any whatsoever health issues I had a thing of riding my MTB through my city just to wear myself out (1.2-hour ride), later sleeping as a baby.
Still, nowdays really I am not sure in which stage to put myself as a lot of symptoms
The year 2000 was when I first tried Amphetamine. I still remember the night vividly me on rave jumping all night long.
The next year I used it only once then later on it became more often, but only when raving with afterpartys. That lasted through and up to 2010 and alongside Amphetamine use, that period of my life MDMA-Ecstasy was as well weekend filled. Cocaine also crossed my lifetime but that
didn´t last long and regardless I was using it daily, every day I came to drink early morning coffee with a buddy of mine. Shortly after that last, as it was only for me free of charge, later on, it stopped easily as when you aren´t wealthy enough to finance that habit and you don't want start dealing any type of drugs you use oftentimes.
That spiked as more often usage of Amphetamines sometimes from 2010 to 2015, along with weekend fun, occasionally I used through weekdays. More often started to be because of me being bored between jobs, and at home in winter times + with every weekend being "the" party weekend (Friday-Monday happen quite often).
When finally in 2015 my luck turned around getting a good job abroad and continued building a career in a healthier environment than my home country, a beautiful but corrupt POS EU country. Then easily I stop using, without having cravings/crises find stuff and start using again.
Adjusting to a new life with steady work, sport, sleep and repeat was refreshing and fulfilling.
That lasted a year or so, slipping maybe once or twice when visiting friends in my hometown.
Then by a combination of circumstances, I found some good stuff so again I started using it, not daily but sporadically regardless it was stored nearby in the fridge. That changed end of 2016 a bit when I had some issues privately, which spiralled with daily use in smaller quantities, which lasted for 6 months or so.
Then again I changed my company, address in 2018 and I stopped using it. Not completely as it happened occasionally all up until Covid times.
So as my work was all around the EU at Covid times travelling by car, again I started using. The main reason I started again was I was fed up with all the things that were happening with COVID, and the hysteria around it.
So I started to use Amphetamines again and that somehow kept my sanity intact. As really I didn´t give a fuck what was happening around me if I could go work every day earning good money mainly in remote locations. Occasionally sleepless nights I admit having but eating and exercising were regularly done.
As Work Medical was performed each year+ with an Ergonometry test of my heart each year my results were in my age group better than expected, even though abusing Amphetamines a lot before.
On Christmas 2022 at home doing some furniture assembly, after one line snorted and did not have any positive feelings as I used to have in past so many times.
Then It just hit me thinking why do I need this shit, pissed I just decided that fuck that stuff from my fridge. So I took all the stash I had and just flushed everything down the toiled.
Never regretted that decision as the next whole year passed so well, with me being every day active, especially in my free time away from work. In the Alps hiking, mountain biking and snowboarding each day were dream days, especially as some darker times came in my life again.
Last 6 months again my butt-worm, has been a restless IDIOT as have been before. Dealing with some personal work-related problems that translated to my finances currently. Again every 3-4 days I went on 2-3 days of abuse, without sleep. Again my current abuse came mainly from being bored and trying to numb situations where I could go nuts because of my worry and anxiety will I have enough luck to
dig me out of this current shit I fall into or everything will go sideways, I try to cope with that and not give a fuck so much Amphetamine use is what it is.
Even so, I started abusing Amphetamines in December last year almost daily again, I also went Snowboarding almost every month between December and May in Austria, sleep and eating never were problems in my life in any way. So hopefully soon and for a longer period I will again stop with this shit.
So reading again this thread's first post, some ppl experience here and taking into consideration how I feel now mentally and, physically only 2 directly connected side effects of my amphetamine usage I could notice.
One would be my fucked short-term memory, all the time forgetting some stupid small things I need to do or take with me, nothing serious I notice my head or long-term memory loss, without having a headache of any kind.
Another downside noticed in recent years linked to my abuse, is after bingeing days, even afterwards having a long nice sleep, the following days will be extra sleepy. Even when I had a good full night's sleep the following days whenever I found myself in the same place sitting relaxed on the couch I fell asleep numerous times throughout the day instantly, and that lasted 3-4 days in a row. Not a big deal at home but when working I try to be in motion all day, as sitting in the office is shitty, constantly yawing, eyes shutting down.
So honestly I am not sure in which stage to put myself currently as some Characteristic Effects of stages aren´t corralled with things like my type, and length of Amphetamine usage. So if I look at how often using, and with connected days in a row I could put myself in Stage 4 but if look what are stage Characteristic Effects I easily can see myself in Stage 2 or 3.
Also numerous times even in recent months I didn't need to use it just as a tool to do some stuff privately or when working. Sometimes this is the case that I use it as a tool to do some tasks that I feel are a bit harder to do or more often when the task I don´t like whatsoever doing, I use it as motivation but not always.
Sometimes yes nervous or become hot-headed instantly when something isn't as I want planned to be. But I have been like that since I was a teen kid and it´s called being an idiotic big baby.
Lack of will: yes that occurred in the past but that seems like when being sometimes a lazy cunt, which easily can be broken just to kick myself in the arse and get moving. Inability to find the "right choice of words" Sometimes yes but mainly as English isn´t my native language, don´t see that as a big deal jet.
Painful body load (Muscle Pain, High Blood Pressure, Inadequate Circulation, Dehydration, Malnutrition, deterioration of the skin and other tissues, etc), Depression, Severe Anxiety, Psychosis, Inability to Sleep, and Severe Restlessness I never had in my life.
So past stage 3 seems I didn´t manage to achieve so far. No matter how long has passed since my first time. Hopefully, I will never put myself past that.
