opiofiend92
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Dec 15, 2012
- Messages
- 11
Honestly, if you enjoy the amphetamine buzz, there is no guarenteed way to remain addiction-free. Maybe for a while yeah, you may even make it a year or two doing your once a month partying or whatever. But before you know it, youll want it twice a month, then once a week, and eventually you will not be functional without it. I speak from experience. I remember high school fresman year, i wouls look foward so much to my monthly escape- a day of speeding, no social phobia, no inhobitions, creative juices flowing, a day to be one goddamn happy guy. Well the more o anticipated, the more i indulged. As my tolerance crept upward, the frequency of use increased, little by little. By junior year, two weeks without an adderall binge was rare. My tolerance had soared from a 30 mg dosr n te morning up to a 40 mg dosr followed by several dose throughout the day and often into the night
. 120 mgs per binge was my number. I barely graduated because senior year saw my culmination into full fledged addiction. I resembled a bi polar disorder in my blossoming addict personality. A pair of days i was manic, tweaking and working and talkinf and jacking off into the wee hours. For the following several days i was a hibernating, binge -eating, irratable, and depressed zomby. School was often out of the question and my absences accumulated exponentially. This cycle repeated over and over. By the time summer had passed and it was time to move into the college dorm and move on, life seemed like a jumbled mess. I made it two wreks in school, then dropped out and bounced from my dads to my mpms, practically begging for money. Yeah, i was too fucked to even try and land a job. My preexistong social anxiety was exacerbated ptremendously by the amp and functioning normally was digficult, on r off the stuff. During my lost year i felt like a ghost, no home, no friends, no school, job, responsibilities, or sense of self. Suicide always flased in fantasy through my mond vut i dodnt fave the energu or the balls. The only thing that ended this downward spiral of depravity was a newfound love for painkillers. And not the usual 20, 30 mgs of vicodin. Now it ws heroin, dilaudid, oxy, all of which i administered by way of needle. So now, i had traded my stimulant addiction for an even nastier, moreangerous opiate habit. Now i am five days clean from heroin, and binging once more on vyvanse. I made it 75 plrcent through my second shot at fresman fall semester at university only to shoot myself in the foot with relapse on heroin. So hete i am, prayong for a fresh start, and looking vack at the last five years with regret and disappointment.
. 120 mgs per binge was my number. I barely graduated because senior year saw my culmination into full fledged addiction. I resembled a bi polar disorder in my blossoming addict personality. A pair of days i was manic, tweaking and working and talkinf and jacking off into the wee hours. For the following several days i was a hibernating, binge -eating, irratable, and depressed zomby. School was often out of the question and my absences accumulated exponentially. This cycle repeated over and over. By the time summer had passed and it was time to move into the college dorm and move on, life seemed like a jumbled mess. I made it two wreks in school, then dropped out and bounced from my dads to my mpms, practically begging for money. Yeah, i was too fucked to even try and land a job. My preexistong social anxiety was exacerbated ptremendously by the amp and functioning normally was digficult, on r off the stuff. During my lost year i felt like a ghost, no home, no friends, no school, job, responsibilities, or sense of self. Suicide always flased in fantasy through my mond vut i dodnt fave the energu or the balls. The only thing that ended this downward spiral of depravity was a newfound love for painkillers. And not the usual 20, 30 mgs of vicodin. Now it ws heroin, dilaudid, oxy, all of which i administered by way of needle. So now, i had traded my stimulant addiction for an even nastier, moreangerous opiate habit. Now i am five days clean from heroin, and binging once more on vyvanse. I made it 75 plrcent through my second shot at fresman fall semester at university only to shoot myself in the foot with relapse on heroin. So hete i am, prayong for a fresh start, and looking vack at the last five years with regret and disappointment.
