looda
Bluelighter
For whatever reason - I don't know what caused me to do this or why I did it without thinking - I took some of my mom's Ambien recreationally yesterday. I regret it, and I can easily say it was the biggest mistake I've ever made, and I've made some pretty stupid decisions in my life. But moving on - I had a friend over and we were relaxing at my house after being stuck falling asleep in my car from a hard night of partying the previous evening. School had just ended for the semester, so we were looking to have a good time (from partying and hanging out with our friends, not the Ambien) and ease the stress from finals and circumstances in both of our lives which I don't wish to discuss here.
2:30 PM - empty stomach, find my mom's Ambien and remember hearing a friend said something about it being fun. Hop on bluelight, and determine that 40mgs would be a good dose...I have a pretty high tolerance to benzos, and although Ambien isn't a benzo, I read it was very similar to a benzo, so I figured my tolerance would apply here. My friend who I was with had been sleeping all day, and decided to only take 20 mgs, which although in retrospect was pretty dumb, it was a lot more intelligent than my 40 mgs. I had read several trip reports saying it had no recreational value, and even though I told myself many times I was making a stupid decision, I went ahead and took them.
T + 00:15 to T + 6:00 - I have no idea of what happened. No memory of ANYTHING whatsoever. I guess my mom came home and saw myself and my friend stumbling over the place, speaking in slurred tounges, and generally acting "fucked up." Apparently mine kicked in a lot sooner than my friend's, and he called a few of our friends over to watch over myself and him. I guess he saw how hard I was tripping and had the foresight to know he'd be done, too. I suppose my mom coming home and seeing 4 random people she doesn't know and two she does know very well tripping balls freaked her out. I wake up in a hospital bed and have no idea what's going on, and most of what happened while I was awake at the hospital was pretty hazy. I had my pants on backwards and had marker all over my arm; I was told by my mom that my friend (L from now on) said I "looked at my arm and wanted to make beautiful art." I was told that I reported to my mom that I was hallucinating and I couldn't stand up long enough to put my pants on, and when I was finally able to, I put them on backwards. I can't imagine how terrible I embarrased not only myself, but my parents as they rolled me into the hospital. I apparently admitted to using marijuana pretty regularly, and using MDMA once, and my desires to do so again. I was pretty delerious, and both of these statements were false. I have no desire to use MDMA again, although it did change my life and has made me a completely different person and a thousand times happier. I hadn't cheefed anytime in the past month, as I had mentioned because finals for the semester were coming up and I needed to concentrate on school. Even though I had been using marijuana pretty regularly, smoking probably 2 grams a weekend for the past couple months, marijuana never interfered with my regular life...keep this in mind as you read further.
Day after - no real side effects, just been kind of tired all day. I've not got any of the anger that is pretty commonplace with Ambein use, but I'm certianly not baseline. I feel somewhat enlightened, but wether that's from the Ambien or the events in the hospitale report are unknown...I strongly believe it's from the events after waking up in the hospital, though.
From those admissions, however, my parents both broke down crying, and I have been admitted to a drug counseling/rehab program at that same hospital. I personally don't feel any need to do this, as I feel it'll just try to give me an excuse for a simple lack of judgement. I'm kind of angry that I've finally reached the maturity level to admit that I made a stupid, bonehead mistake, and I'm trying to find a reason for what I did, when like I said, the only reason is because I wasn't thinking at all. Knowing how much this hurt my parents is the worst part. I've been terribly upset about how much I've hurt them, and I'll probably be upset about it for a while to come until I know that they know I was making bad decision after bad decision, and it was just a phase. They don't trust me right now, and they have good reason not to, and I know it's gonna be a long and difficult journey to regain their trust.
I wish this could be a more substantial trip report, but there's really not much recreational value to this drug IMO. My main reason in posting this is to warn those who are thinking of taking Ambien to dose VERY low, starting at 10mgs at the VERY most, and seeing how much that does; I also wish to convince everyone that is currently doing any form of drugs to reconsider why they are using drugs, and not only how it is affecting their bodies and minds, but how it is affecting those around them. Please be safe, and throughly research everything you're gonna do before you do it.
Cheers.
2:30 PM - empty stomach, find my mom's Ambien and remember hearing a friend said something about it being fun. Hop on bluelight, and determine that 40mgs would be a good dose...I have a pretty high tolerance to benzos, and although Ambien isn't a benzo, I read it was very similar to a benzo, so I figured my tolerance would apply here. My friend who I was with had been sleeping all day, and decided to only take 20 mgs, which although in retrospect was pretty dumb, it was a lot more intelligent than my 40 mgs. I had read several trip reports saying it had no recreational value, and even though I told myself many times I was making a stupid decision, I went ahead and took them.
T + 00:15 to T + 6:00 - I have no idea of what happened. No memory of ANYTHING whatsoever. I guess my mom came home and saw myself and my friend stumbling over the place, speaking in slurred tounges, and generally acting "fucked up." Apparently mine kicked in a lot sooner than my friend's, and he called a few of our friends over to watch over myself and him. I guess he saw how hard I was tripping and had the foresight to know he'd be done, too. I suppose my mom coming home and seeing 4 random people she doesn't know and two she does know very well tripping balls freaked her out. I wake up in a hospital bed and have no idea what's going on, and most of what happened while I was awake at the hospital was pretty hazy. I had my pants on backwards and had marker all over my arm; I was told by my mom that my friend (L from now on) said I "looked at my arm and wanted to make beautiful art." I was told that I reported to my mom that I was hallucinating and I couldn't stand up long enough to put my pants on, and when I was finally able to, I put them on backwards. I can't imagine how terrible I embarrased not only myself, but my parents as they rolled me into the hospital. I apparently admitted to using marijuana pretty regularly, and using MDMA once, and my desires to do so again. I was pretty delerious, and both of these statements were false. I have no desire to use MDMA again, although it did change my life and has made me a completely different person and a thousand times happier. I hadn't cheefed anytime in the past month, as I had mentioned because finals for the semester were coming up and I needed to concentrate on school. Even though I had been using marijuana pretty regularly, smoking probably 2 grams a weekend for the past couple months, marijuana never interfered with my regular life...keep this in mind as you read further.
Day after - no real side effects, just been kind of tired all day. I've not got any of the anger that is pretty commonplace with Ambein use, but I'm certianly not baseline. I feel somewhat enlightened, but wether that's from the Ambien or the events in the hospitale report are unknown...I strongly believe it's from the events after waking up in the hospital, though.
From those admissions, however, my parents both broke down crying, and I have been admitted to a drug counseling/rehab program at that same hospital. I personally don't feel any need to do this, as I feel it'll just try to give me an excuse for a simple lack of judgement. I'm kind of angry that I've finally reached the maturity level to admit that I made a stupid, bonehead mistake, and I'm trying to find a reason for what I did, when like I said, the only reason is because I wasn't thinking at all. Knowing how much this hurt my parents is the worst part. I've been terribly upset about how much I've hurt them, and I'll probably be upset about it for a while to come until I know that they know I was making bad decision after bad decision, and it was just a phase. They don't trust me right now, and they have good reason not to, and I know it's gonna be a long and difficult journey to regain their trust.
I wish this could be a more substantial trip report, but there's really not much recreational value to this drug IMO. My main reason in posting this is to warn those who are thinking of taking Ambien to dose VERY low, starting at 10mgs at the VERY most, and seeing how much that does; I also wish to convince everyone that is currently doing any form of drugs to reconsider why they are using drugs, and not only how it is affecting their bodies and minds, but how it is affecting those around them. Please be safe, and throughly research everything you're gonna do before you do it.
Cheers.
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. I don't see you do that often. I have found myself and my parents being closer than ever before, and it seems that most of what I wanted (trust from them) will come quickly. They realize that my bad decisions and my hurting them are behind me, and I've finally reached that point of change.
